Update
OK so I still seem to be coping. Mostly. I'm not entirely sure how but I seem to be getting through this. Lots of tears which are to be expected
Sister has done all calling relatives and closing down of accounts and stuff
Thursday morning, I went to registry office and registered mum's death, got death certificates and stuff. Actually managed that without crying.
Thursday afternoon
davidbrider kidnapped me and took me down to London for the Raintown album launch. I was SO glad I actually went. Hugs from Paul & Claire and geeking with friends and fun. And flooding the city when they Forever Isn't Long Enough - we're talking crying so hard I made them cry. Oops?
I totally needed that one night away from it all and not thinking about it all and...well... for me it's a slice of normality. Also, I really kind of love Paul and Claire. Shocking, I know!
Sadly I had a wee breakdown of the 'I want to be at home' variety somewhere round 00:30, so David very very kindly drove me home.
Friday afternoon Sister & I had an appointment with the funeral directors to book and start planning the funeral. I cried a few times and Sister was saying how well I was doing, that I was doing better than she expected.
We're gonna be in trouble though - one of mum's 'things' was to say to shove her in a cardboard box and be done. We took one look at the cardboard coffin and... sorry mum, we just couldn't do it.
Sister really surprised me at one point. She actually asked me if I wanted to have a Raintown song played at the service - she said something about mum liking them and them knowing mum... so yeah. Course the compromise was that she gets to pick a hymn.
Funeral is on Tuesday 29th September at 3pm at Telford Crematorium.
Also on Friday,
charlies_dragon came to give me a hug, and stay a couple days. It was really nice, again, to just... sit and eat pizza and watch SGA an have a cuddle.
Saturday, Lotte had her MOT. I love my car. 8 and a half years old. 110k on the clock. Not even a single advisory. I look after Lotte, Lotte looks after me.
I went bra shopping while she was in the garage. *grumble* Just one time I'd like to not have my cupsize change. 36HH is the latest fit! DOUBLE FUCKING H!
The rest of the weekend was spent being completely mercenary and utterly blitzing mum's house. Every room ended up with 5 piles on the floor: me, sister, charity, ebay and crap. We got the entire house sorted through.
Today was... definitely a monday. My shower crapped out half-way through washing my hair. Wonderful.
Removal guys came and now all the furniture etc I've taken is sitting around my flat. Sister helped me sort through bags of towels and duvets and pillows and stuff. I got my 'new' bathroom furniture sorted. My shower is working again.
Tonight has been shit. Lots of panic and tears and breakdown and wanting a hug. And the utterly random "I don't know how to use the washing machine" which, hello, I have the manual. But utterly irrational breakdown on that front.
Tomorrow is going to be insane.
First thing we have the meeting with the civil celebrant to plan the final details of mum's service - songs, readings etc.
Then I have a Drs appointment. I'm almost out of anti-depressants and I think I need a couple of sleeping pills.
I shall then be attempting to get back to work. I dont know how well it'll go or if I'll be any use to anyone. But the intent is there.
Luckily it'll only be a short week. Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday then we have Thurs & Fri off for Eid which gives me a nice long weekend to work on the flat. Kitchen next, then my bedroom and hopefully the living room before
ravensword comes to visit in just under 3 weeks.
I can do this, right?
Sister has done all calling relatives and closing down of accounts and stuff
Thursday morning, I went to registry office and registered mum's death, got death certificates and stuff. Actually managed that without crying.
Thursday afternoon
davidbrider kidnapped me and took me down to London for the Raintown album launch. I was SO glad I actually went. Hugs from Paul & Claire and geeking with friends and fun. And flooding the city when they Forever Isn't Long Enough - we're talking crying so hard I made them cry. Oops?
I totally needed that one night away from it all and not thinking about it all and...well... for me it's a slice of normality. Also, I really kind of love Paul and Claire. Shocking, I know!
Sadly I had a wee breakdown of the 'I want to be at home' variety somewhere round 00:30, so David very very kindly drove me home.
Friday afternoon Sister & I had an appointment with the funeral directors to book and start planning the funeral. I cried a few times and Sister was saying how well I was doing, that I was doing better than she expected.
We're gonna be in trouble though - one of mum's 'things' was to say to shove her in a cardboard box and be done. We took one look at the cardboard coffin and... sorry mum, we just couldn't do it.
Sister really surprised me at one point. She actually asked me if I wanted to have a Raintown song played at the service - she said something about mum liking them and them knowing mum... so yeah. Course the compromise was that she gets to pick a hymn.
Funeral is on Tuesday 29th September at 3pm at Telford Crematorium.
Also on Friday,
charlies_dragon came to give me a hug, and stay a couple days. It was really nice, again, to just... sit and eat pizza and watch SGA an have a cuddle.
Saturday, Lotte had her MOT. I love my car. 8 and a half years old. 110k on the clock. Not even a single advisory. I look after Lotte, Lotte looks after me.
I went bra shopping while she was in the garage. *grumble* Just one time I'd like to not have my cupsize change. 36HH is the latest fit! DOUBLE FUCKING H!
The rest of the weekend was spent being completely mercenary and utterly blitzing mum's house. Every room ended up with 5 piles on the floor: me, sister, charity, ebay and crap. We got the entire house sorted through.
Today was... definitely a monday. My shower crapped out half-way through washing my hair. Wonderful.
Removal guys came and now all the furniture etc I've taken is sitting around my flat. Sister helped me sort through bags of towels and duvets and pillows and stuff. I got my 'new' bathroom furniture sorted. My shower is working again.
Tonight has been shit. Lots of panic and tears and breakdown and wanting a hug. And the utterly random "I don't know how to use the washing machine" which, hello, I have the manual. But utterly irrational breakdown on that front.
Tomorrow is going to be insane.
First thing we have the meeting with the civil celebrant to plan the final details of mum's service - songs, readings etc.
Then I have a Drs appointment. I'm almost out of anti-depressants and I think I need a couple of sleeping pills.
I shall then be attempting to get back to work. I dont know how well it'll go or if I'll be any use to anyone. But the intent is there.
Luckily it'll only be a short week. Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday then we have Thurs & Fri off for Eid which gives me a nice long weekend to work on the flat. Kitchen next, then my bedroom and hopefully the living room before
ravensword comes to visit in just under 3 weeks.
I can do this, right?