[Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.]
Hello all.
I've made posts like this is the past, and left LiveJournal for periods of time, for this reason and that reason, etc. Always in the past, I came back eventually, so to say I know the outcome of this would be too presumptuous, but I will say that my feeling right now is one of endings.
Ten years ago I started watching a show called Prison Break. Sometime after the first season finished, in the spring of 2006, I started looking for fanfiction. I eventually found LJ, many friends (most of whom I am now friends with on Facebook), and all things fandom developed for me. I had dabbled in some fandoms in the years previous to 2005, but nothing as deep or serious as PB. I mean, I traveled to Detroit to go on a fangirl pilgrimage to Chicago.
Anyway, these have been great years and I've had so much fun and made lasting friendships. All because of TV. It's sort of hilariously beautiful, right?
But lately, there just hasn't been any heart in it for me. Within six months, I lost both of my favorite shows, and it sort of took the wind out of my sails. I kept trying to find that level of fangirling within myself, and return to the way I had been, but it just feels as if it's gone for good. I mean, I still always love those things, my various shows, and my various fics, and all that stuff, but my passion for them is significantly decreased. As much as I wanted to write this TVD Big_Bang, I realized this week, it's just not going to happen.
And I'm sorry about that...The idea was that about 25 years after S6 ended, Bonnie dies in an car accident. At this point, she is married to Matt and they have two children, a daughter Sheila who is 18 and a son, Victor, who is 21. I hadn't worked out all the details yet, but Damon has always held this position in their life, of like the charismatic uncle who blows in every so often and gives them presents and dazzles them and then blows back out again. This all stems from the fact that in the few years following Elena's Sleeping Beauty coma and Lily and her Heretics terrorizing the denizens of Mystic Falls, Damon and Bonnie had gone awfully dark together. To combat the evil, they really turned themselves over to it, being somewhat sadistic in their defending of their town and people. In the end Stefan and Caroline get caught in the crossfire, and are killed, but Lily and the Heretics are dead, so there is at least peace following that. Except, that of course for Damon and Bonnie, there is no peace. They are both wrecked by what they've done, who they've lost, and the biggest thing between them: Elena. In the meantime, Damon sees a spark between Bonnie and Matt, and he encourages Matt very strongly to romance Bonnie, and once they are in THE LOVE, he sets them up at his bar & grill in Portland, OR. He lets them run the business that one day he intended to take over, but then he leaves so that he doesn't have to visibly endure the reminder all the time that as long as Bonnie's alive, Elena is in a coffin in Virginia. The two stories would be the past of when Matt and Bonnie fell in love and how his purity brought Bonnie back from the dark, juxtaposed with the present story of Elena waking up to find Damon in a very bad place emotionally, guilt wrt Bonnie's life and death, the irony of accidents in their lives, etc. I really do love the idea of it, but I know I'm never gonna write it, I'm just not. The season has passed and I am done with these characters.
Beyond that, though, is just this general sense of being done here. I know that LJ is all but dead, but it's been that way for a long time. It took me a while to match, but I'm here now. I am on tumblr, but I really only reblog stuff. I hardly ever post anything, and I hate the format, so I don't see that really changing. I'll just go there to look for pictures, I'm sure.
So, the point of all this is to say I'm going on "hiatus" I guess...though I don't really think that's what it is. I think I'm done with all this, fangirly behavior stuff. I do want to finish the RPF I've been writing for what feels like a millennia, but any writing after that? I don't think there will be fanfic. Maybe I'll finally write an original work, who knows.
At any rate, I wanted to wish you all a farewell. If you want to keep in touch, you can email me at domfangirl@yahoo, or friend me on https://www.facebook.com/candyce.carter. Or just say goodbye! That's fine, too. :D It's been fun, and I treasure my time here. I'm sure I will come back and read old posts from time to time.
XOXOXOXO
I've made posts like this is the past, and left LiveJournal for periods of time, for this reason and that reason, etc. Always in the past, I came back eventually, so to say I know the outcome of this would be too presumptuous, but I will say that my feeling right now is one of endings.
Ten years ago I started watching a show called Prison Break. Sometime after the first season finished, in the spring of 2006, I started looking for fanfiction. I eventually found LJ, many friends (most of whom I am now friends with on Facebook), and all things fandom developed for me. I had dabbled in some fandoms in the years previous to 2005, but nothing as deep or serious as PB. I mean, I traveled to Detroit to go on a fangirl pilgrimage to Chicago.
Anyway, these have been great years and I've had so much fun and made lasting friendships. All because of TV. It's sort of hilariously beautiful, right?
But lately, there just hasn't been any heart in it for me. Within six months, I lost both of my favorite shows, and it sort of took the wind out of my sails. I kept trying to find that level of fangirling within myself, and return to the way I had been, but it just feels as if it's gone for good. I mean, I still always love those things, my various shows, and my various fics, and all that stuff, but my passion for them is significantly decreased. As much as I wanted to write this TVD Big_Bang, I realized this week, it's just not going to happen.
And I'm sorry about that...The idea was that about 25 years after S6 ended, Bonnie dies in an car accident. At this point, she is married to Matt and they have two children, a daughter Sheila who is 18 and a son, Victor, who is 21. I hadn't worked out all the details yet, but Damon has always held this position in their life, of like the charismatic uncle who blows in every so often and gives them presents and dazzles them and then blows back out again. This all stems from the fact that in the few years following Elena's Sleeping Beauty coma and Lily and her Heretics terrorizing the denizens of Mystic Falls, Damon and Bonnie had gone awfully dark together. To combat the evil, they really turned themselves over to it, being somewhat sadistic in their defending of their town and people. In the end Stefan and Caroline get caught in the crossfire, and are killed, but Lily and the Heretics are dead, so there is at least peace following that. Except, that of course for Damon and Bonnie, there is no peace. They are both wrecked by what they've done, who they've lost, and the biggest thing between them: Elena. In the meantime, Damon sees a spark between Bonnie and Matt, and he encourages Matt very strongly to romance Bonnie, and once they are in THE LOVE, he sets them up at his bar & grill in Portland, OR. He lets them run the business that one day he intended to take over, but then he leaves so that he doesn't have to visibly endure the reminder all the time that as long as Bonnie's alive, Elena is in a coffin in Virginia. The two stories would be the past of when Matt and Bonnie fell in love and how his purity brought Bonnie back from the dark, juxtaposed with the present story of Elena waking up to find Damon in a very bad place emotionally, guilt wrt Bonnie's life and death, the irony of accidents in their lives, etc. I really do love the idea of it, but I know I'm never gonna write it, I'm just not. The season has passed and I am done with these characters.
Beyond that, though, is just this general sense of being done here. I know that LJ is all but dead, but it's been that way for a long time. It took me a while to match, but I'm here now. I am on tumblr, but I really only reblog stuff. I hardly ever post anything, and I hate the format, so I don't see that really changing. I'll just go there to look for pictures, I'm sure.
So, the point of all this is to say I'm going on "hiatus" I guess...though I don't really think that's what it is. I think I'm done with all this, fangirly behavior stuff. I do want to finish the RPF I've been writing for what feels like a millennia, but any writing after that? I don't think there will be fanfic. Maybe I'll finally write an original work, who knows.
At any rate, I wanted to wish you all a farewell. If you want to keep in touch, you can email me at domfangirl@yahoo, or friend me on https://www.facebook.com/candyce.carter. Or just say goodbye! That's fine, too. :D It's been fun, and I treasure my time here. I'm sure I will come back and read old posts from time to time.
XOXOXOXO