[How did I miss you when I didn't know you?]
Look. Just expect tear-filled posts from now until the end of time, because I cannot [ALL CAPS SHOUTING CANNOT FUCKING CANNOT!] cope with this. The ending of this show, the ending of this couple. It's almost as if the TV gods thought, You thought Beth Greene getting her brains blown out would be hard? We'll show you HARD, you stupid little girl. We'll give you everything you've ever dreamed of for these two characters and then we will fucking rip them apart. How's that for SAD????
I just. It's like I don't even know where to start. Damon and Elena had four scenes together in this episode and each one of them were things I've dreamed about for them.
And I'm sorry, but the way Ian delivered his I love you just gutted me, like 2x22 all over again. [I know you love Stefan, that it will always be Stefan...but I love you. You should know that.] And I can't even be rational, I just want to write fix-it fic for these stupid actors because regardless of the current state of affairs and the distance between them, I can't help but remember those early days in S2 when they would tweet each other about how much they loved working together, and you know that in spite of all the heartbreak they've managed to bring their A-game to every moment, thus making my endless sobbing even more endless.
I just feel like I'm going to spend the next four Thursday nights bawling my face off.
I'm sorry, this post is nothing like I planned. I came here to say all these things about the parallels I'm seeing between Damon now and S1 Damon, since I'm almost done with my S1 rewatch, but I just don't have the wherewithal right now.
Let me try summing up with some lists.
[+] Shower sex, check [head canon]
[+] Sweet post-coital bathroom shenanigans with some angst [actual canon]
[+] Elena wearing Damon's shirt in public, not just after sex [actual canon]
[+] Damon's mother embarrassing him in front of his girlfriend [actual canon I never dreamed could happen]
[+] Damon saying "We're in THE love." [Because, WHY???? It's just to hurt me, that's why!]
[+] Damon and Elena OPENLY discussing his abandonment issues, how he pined for Katherine, and why loving Elena far more than he ever did either of those women is obvious [OH GAWD]
[+] And that line, "You can sit here and flirt with me, or you can help me come up with a plan B..." was written simply to pierce my heart. Like, please sum these two idiots up more, kthxbye (over here, slamming my head against the wall.)
[+] You know I never had a doubt that Damon would offer the cure to Elena, but I like that he has squashed many of his fears, but there is still the tiny part of him, the "unworthy" part that still exists.
Other:
[+] I was pleasantly surprised by Enzo's connection to Lily (it's so tiresome that Enzo goes in and out of relevance and interest for me)
[+] I don't think anything Elena said and/or felt tonight was out of character
[+] I really loved Caroline making fun of Tyler, but also Tyler being the brave, stupid one. Perfectly in character. And trying to save Matty, but, you know, almost killing him instead!
[+] And I really, really loved Matt finally crossing over the line. It was so poignant, and who can fucking blame the guy? His reasoning was beautiful.
[+] Stefan...and Damon really being the one to cause the switch. All my Salvatore FEEEEEEEEEEEELS forever.
The lyrics to the song they played in the final DE scene....
One foot in front of the other
Keep breathing just like they taught you
You politely asked to take a walk with me
I would've married you there underneath the trees
Is it real, this thing?
Is it real, ooh, this thing?
I could make you happy
I could make you love me
I could disappear completely
I could be your love song
I could be long gone
I could be a ghost in your eardrum
When you sleep, will it be with me?
When you sleep, will it be with me?
I swore I saw you in a dream
All dressed in white and wide smile
You politely asked to take a walk with me
And I married you there underneath the trees
Can you feel the beat of my heartbeat beating through me?
Can you feel the beat of my heartbeat beating through?
I could make you happy
I could make you love me
I could disappear completely
I could be your love song
I could be long gone
I could be a ghost in your eardrum
When you sleep, will it be with me?
When you sleep, will it be with me?
How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? (Ooh)
How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? (Ooh)
How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? (Ooh)
How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? (Ooh)
I could make you happy
I could make you love me
I could disappear completely
I could be your love song
I could be long gone
I could be a ghost in your eardrum
I could make you happy
I could make you love me
I could disappear completely
Be with me when you sleep
Be with me
--When You Sleep by Mary Lambert
His face, SWEET JESUS:
And their faces:
Either give them their goddamn Emmy Awards, or tell me they don't love each other.
I've read a couple things that make me fairly certain this is the way it's gonna go down: Damon will pine for Elena, remember 145 years on waiting for Katherine who was not worth it, who he secretly knew didn't really love him because of her turning Stefan as well, etc. But Damon would wait for Elena for FUCKING ever people. Celibate and willing to endure whatever misery his has to.
So Elena will be somewhere. A prison world, perhaps? Banished by Lily and her Heretics as punishment to Damon for his two-facedness or whatever, it doesn't matter.
All that matters is that if Elena takes the Cure and has her mind wiped, it won't be Damon who does it. It will be Lily.
I don't know that I'd watch S7 even knowing Damon will be pining for her, it might just been too much for me, but if they only do one season and then they bring Nina back for the series finale -- it could work. It could not be the shambles I'm afraid it will be.
I'm trying not to hope too hard, and luckily my grief takes up too much space right now for there to be much hope. All the same, I don't think they're going to mess up my OTP entirely.