[fic] Holding On [3/5]
Title: Holding On [3/5]
Author: badboy_fangirl
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Characters/Pairings: Beth POV; Daryl/Beth; with appearances by everyone else.
Word Count: ~3700
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 / Spoilers through all of season four. MENTIONS OF RAPE, POSSIBLE TRIGGERS.
Summary:
Author's notes: This is a companion/continuation fic to Empty Handed. You may read it without having read the first fic, but it won't make as much sense, IMHO. Also, many thanks to Cricket for the beta.
Previous Chapters: [1] | [2]
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth'>
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
Over the next few days, Beth becomes infinitely familiar with Daryl's body. Not just touch and smell and taste, but how he feels in the moment when he lets go; when he's completely vulnerable to her.
It always reminds her of standing outside the moonshine shack with a dead Walker for their audience. He doesn't cry during sex, but there is that same level of openness, and the way his body trembles beneath hers, or on top of hers, shuddering and then relaxing.
She'd never say it to him, because it would just embarrass him, but she realizes now just what it meant when he wept in her arms that day. They had been fully clothed, and they hadn't been looking in each other's eyes, but it was the same.
They'd been making love.
And that's the other thing; she realizes that making love doesn't refer just to sex. And there's all kinds of ways to have sex, too. Sometimes he just looks at her, and it's like being in that moment with him. Sometimes it's just the brush of his fingers over hers.
Beth Greene is so in love with being in love, it's almost unbearable. And Daryl's the worst. Just, the way he fills her up and takes over everything and makes her unable to stop smiling?
It's a little bit embarrassing, especially a couple of days into it when Michonne is standing in the kitchen and she starts laughing, drawing Beth's attention to her.
"What?" she asks. "What's funny?"
Michonne shakes her head. "Somebody's getting some, is all I'm sayin'..."
It takes Beth a moment to even get that Michonne is teasing her, but she feels her cheeks flame rapturously. She ducks her head and says nothing, and Michonne laughs again. "Daryl's got that same look about him. He just kept grinning like a fool while we were on patrol earlier. I was glad my shift ended before his, because I was about ready to slap the smile off his face."
Beth's own smile can't be repressed now even if she wanted to, not with that information. So even though it's embarrassing, she turns back to the laundry she'd been folding and mutters, "Shut up."
Michonne all but cackles then, and Beth looks up helplessly. "Stop it!" she cries, grateful it's just the two of them. Judith is taking a nap and Carol's at her book club (which is so normal and weird at the same time, that there's a book club in their ever growing circle of friends).
"Oh, come on," Michonne grouses. "Give me a little dirt. Let me live vicariously through you!"
Before she can censor herself, Beth blurts, "You mean you and Rick haven't done it?" and though it's hard to see a flush with Michonne's skin tone, there is still a distinctive change to her expression.
"You tell me something first, then I'll tell you," Michonne says, arching a brow, recovering much faster than Beth had.
And really, Beth's been dying to say something, but her schedule has conflicted with Maggie's and any other spare time she's had, she's been at Daryl's, naked with him. So, she takes a deep breath and let's the floodgates open. "Ohmigod, Michonne. I love it. I love him. But I love it, you know? Like, the feeling of everything, his hands on me, his mouth..." Her cheeks are reddening even more, but she can't stop talking. "And when he's inside me--" She claps a hand over her mouth, and shakes her head. "Oh, god," she says from behind her own palm. "He would die if he knew I was telling you..."
Michonne draws two fingers across her lips and twists them, then tosses away a pretend key. "Your secret's safe with me, I'll never tell a soul, swear it."
Beth leans forward slightly and lowers her hand. "Well, there is something--I need to ask someone, and it's all new, you know, so," as Michonne nods encouragingly, Beth lowers her voice to a whisper. "Well. The first time we did it, the other night, we...didn't use a condom, because, well, reasons, but anyway, it was like, incredible. It felt, I don't even know how to say it. But, it was my first time, you know, really, and I think Daryl's been with some women, but not a lot, and neither of us, is you know, like, good, or whatever...but, ohmigod. I know people love sex and make a big deal about it and stuff, but yeah. I understand why now."
She feels instantly more guilty, because even talking about it arousing her, and making her imagine going over to his place when he gets off work and having her way with him, with no condoms. "It doesn't feel as good with the condom," she confides, her voice at a normal volume. "I mean, it feels different, you know, like I can't feel all of him, so..." She shrugs. "It's still awesome, though. I mean, there's so many things you can do! And Daryl's like, here, let's try this thing I heard about even though he's embarrassed most of the time. He's cute.
"Is that normal, though? That the condom changes everything?" Beth asks, finally getting to the actual question.
Michonne looks thoughtful as she comes over the kitchen table where Beth is folding her pile of towels. She picks one up, and starts pressing the corners together. "Condoms do change things--I'd say more for the fella than the lady on most occasions, but...there is something that could account for what you're talkin' about." She pauses and Beth realizes now why her girlfriends in high school told each other everything, it was a good way to get vital information.
"Is he circumcised?" Michonne asks.
Beth pauses, her eyes drifting from Michonne's face as she sets a folded towel off to the side. A beat passes and everything suddenly clicks into place. The difference she noticed about Daryl that she hadn't spent much time dwelling on since their first time becomes clear. She kept meaning to ask him about his appearance, but then he'd distract her with his mouth in various places, and she just lost track of time, and thoughts, and everything.
Beth raises her gaze back to Michonne's. "He's not. I just realized--" She blushing again, but Michonne smiles and waves a hand like it's no big deal.
"Not all men are...and from what you just described, I'd guess that's what's going on," Michonne continues. "Because I've been with both, men who are and men who aren't, and I'd say there's a big difference in...sensation...for the woman if the man isn't. I mean, there's a pretty big difference as it is. Uncut, in my humble opinion, is much better. Much better. A condom would definitely dull that some, or a lot, I suppose, depending on your experience." Her smile widens a little, and Beth can't help but wonder if she's remembering someone from her past. "Since this is the only way you know it, you're spoiled, gotta say." She gives Beth a wink, and Beth giggles, because yeah. "But," Michonne says sharply, "you gotta use birth control, Beth. You're too young to be having a baby just yet. And you and Daryl oughta have a serious conversation before you do something like that anyway."
Beth doesn't want a baby right now, that's for sure, but she and Daryl have already had a serious talk, and she defends herself with, "We love each other. We talked about that stuff." Which isn't entirely true. She'd said they should use protection and he agreed, that had been the extent of their communication on the subject. "I'm his girl and he's my man. I mean, if we had a baby, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
Michonne smiles gently. "No, no, it wouldn't, but it would change everything. So all's I'm saying is be sure you're ready for that kinda change. Children are wonderful, they are. But they complicate matters."
Beth nods, instantly feeling less defensive just because of the tone of voice Michonne used. She stares at her friend for just a moment before she prods, "Okay, so you and Rick, yeah?"
Michonne definitely blushes, Beth is positive.
When they finally see each other the next day, Beth talks to Maggie about birth control. Her sister goes with her to the doctor to get a prescription, because in a post-apocalyptic world, you can actually get in to see your doctor the same day you call in. Beth happily waits for Debbie, the nurse practitioner who had checked her out when she first got to D.C. She's not sure if Debbie remembers her at first, as it had been several months since she'd first come in. When Beth says she'd like to get on birth control, the woman smiles warmly.
"So," she says, looking at Beth's chart. "Things are going well for you?"
"Yes," Beth says, and then she shows her the piece of paper that Maggie had written down Ortho-Tri-Cyclen Lo on. "Is it possible to get this kind? That's what my sister used, before the turn."
Debbie nods her head. "I'm pretty sure the Ortho-Tri-Cyclens are the ones that they never stopped making, but let me double check my list." She slides across the room on her wheeled stool and flips a folder open. "Yep, here it is. But remember, everybody's different, so just because your sister used this one just fine doesn't mean it will be perfect for you. Give it a month, but if any of the side effects are bothering you, come back in and let's try something else, okay?"
"Okay," Beth agrees.
There was a time when she would have expected the worst, but ever since her family showed up in D.C., she sees everything differently. She just knows that the pills will work, and that she'll be fine, and she hugs Debbie before she leaves her office, which she can tell startles her. She laughs awkwardly and pats Beth's back.
She and Maggie walk to the pharmacy, the same one they'd met in just three days earlier, when she and Daryl had gone to buy condoms. Maggie had smiled knowingly then, pulling Beth just a ways away from the men so she could tease Beth with, "You aren't gonna like it when I throw a fit about the condoms in your bag."
It had been a thing for years, at least before the turn, where Maggie would get over-the-top angry about something silly the way Beth had the day she found birth control pills in her sister's stuff. It had always been a joke, Maggie making her eyes go wide and saying something like, I can't believe you put lime juice in the salsa! Their parents had never known what they were talking about, and that had been half the fun.
Now, as they leave the pharmacy, with the assurance that Beth can pick up her pills the next day, she loops her arm through Maggie's. "You 'member that movie, 10 Things I Hate About You, the one Momma thought was scandalous so she got up and left the room when we were watching it?"
Maggie laughs. "Oh, yeah. She didn't like that teacher who was writin' the romance novel."
Beth smiles, remembering her mother's horrified expression. "I 'bout wore out the CD I had of the soundtrack, and there was this one song on there called "I Know" and there was this line in that song about how her momma warned her about bad boys." Beth giggles and then clears her throat to sing, "Stay away from bad boys, they got one thing on their minds. Their hormones are raging and they want it, all the time, and let me just say that it's not just a boy thing."
Maggie laughs harder, bending over slightly as they continue trying to walk up the street, back towards hers and Glenn's apartment. "I remember thinking that day you got so mad when you found the birth control in my bag, oh, someday you'll understand, babygirl. But I couldn't explain it to ya, you had to figure it out for yourself." She tightens her arm around Beth's. "I'm glad that you're havin' that experience. I'm glad that not everythin' got ruined, Bethy."
Beth squeezes Maggie in return. "Me, too," she says simply.
After Daryl agrees to move in with her, Carol, and Michonne, and once he thinks beyond just "living with Beth," he starts grumbling at her about being out-numbered in a house full of women. She tells him that she thinks Michonne will move out eventually because she and Rick are quietly together; that turns into quite a gossip session about Rick's old-fashioned ideas since Carl's seeing everything, and how cute Michonne is about it, and Daryl just stares at her.
"What?" Beth asks.
"Didja just call Michonne cute?" He gives her a smirk. "She would samurai your ass for that no doubt."
"No, she wouldn't. She and I understand each other. We both fell in love out here, in this crazy time. It's different, and special. Not everyone gets the chance, you know."
Daryl falls silent, but nods his head at her. His eyes are soft, the way they always are when she slips something in about how she loves him. She's pretty sure he's never gonna get used to it, but she still tries to say it as often as she can, both in epic ways (like while he's got her pressed against the bedroom wall and he's rolling a condom on and pushing inside her in some amazing smooth move that neither of them would ever accredit to him) and casual ways like right now, when they're sitting at the kitchen table eating sandwiches.
Their roomies aren't currently home, which allowed them to discuss certain things. "I should probably tell you, just to be honest," Beth says, and his eyes come back to hers quickly, a touch of panic in them. "I talked to Russ in Housing, and made sure he never found a good place for you, on purpose. I wanted you stuck at the Dorms so that when I asked you to move in, you'd really want to, you know, just to get out of there."
She knows a part of him is always worried, even though he's never said so. Something inside of him won't quite let him believe that she's always going to want him, and she's seen it in his face many times when she innocently brings up a serious topic for discussion.
He's in mid-bite as she shares this information with him, though, and he just shakes his head at her as he chews and swallows. "Girl, you're nuts, y'know that?"
It's almost funny how he can't see that her insecurities are similar to his, but she just smiles, ducks her head, and let's him reassure her. "I would fucking pay to live here. With you. Ya nut."
As they're washing their dishes, he slides his body in behind hers, rubbing himself not-so-subtly against her ass. He's whispering kisses down the back of her neck, and Beth can feel the familiar heat spreading everywhere. "You know," she says, her voice high and breathless. "We can start having sex without condoms now. My pills are in full effect." She's pretty sure they'd both been counting down on that, but they'd both pretended not to care that much.
He chuckles and hums a happy, anticipatory sound, the vibration skipping down her spine as she rinses her hands under the warm water. He reaches around her to shut the faucet off, and she purposely arches her backside more firmly into his hips. His breath hitches, but he says, "And I got a whole passel a condoms leftover, too. What'm I gonna do with 'em?"
His fingers undo the buttons of her blouse, push the lapels open, and then strip the cups of her bra clean off her breasts in a rapid motion that leaves her aroused nipples nestled in the palms of his hands. He squeezes her flesh and groans against her neck when she moans, "What's a passel?"
He turns her around quickly, mutters something about giving her an English lesson later, and then whisks her down the hall to the bedroom.
Beth's memory of the naked feel of him was not something she had exaggerated. She screams when she comes, because they are better at this now than they were the first time, and it feels like she's flying into a million pieces. A long while passes before Daryl tells her, his voice rough, that they might need to get their own place if she's gonna be that noisy. Then he defines passel for her, and proceeds to give her a passel of orgasms, since neither Carol nor Michonne return home any time soon.
Television is a part of the new world order in D.C., though not the way it had been before. There were channels with reruns, but the only new shows were cheap, public broadcast things that reminded Beth of plays she'd seen in her high school.
All the same, they watched TV, from time to time. And nobody missed the News, because any word about the growth of other communities outside their own gave them hope.
Periodically, they heard trickle-downs from Abraham through Rick about Eugene's work, and that's when Beth learned in full just why the group had come to Washington to begin with. And then, one day, on Breaking News, there it was: A cure had been successfully created. The first to take it had been some older people, all volunteers according to the journalist, who were expected to die within one to six months post-injection from natural causes.
Daryl and the others had been in Washington for almost five months, which meant Beth had been there almost a year. And the first person who died, an 82-year old man named Wallace Trenton, had not reanimated. Under the careful watch of doctors and scientists, he had gone the way of his Maker, and stayed that way.
Beth and Carol sat on their sofa, holding hands and crying as the journalist thanked Eugene and two doctors who had agreed to interviews for being with her. They answered questions for more than an hour, and Daryl came bursting in the door from work during that time. He had obviously run all the way there, and he gasped, "Didja hear...?" but fell silent when he saw that they were already watching the broadcast.
Sinking down on the sofa on the other side of Beth, they all watched without speaking as the interview went on.
"So, what is the next move from here, Dr. Porter?"
Eugene cocked an eyebrow, and then turned his eyes right to the camera. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked. "We get it reproduced as quickly as possible, and then we get it out to everyone. First Washington, and then every person on the other side of our walls that we can find."
"How will that be done?"
"Well, I think we're gonna have to leave the safety of our little world here, or at least some people will. I assume there will be a call to arms. Not that I'll be going of course, because they'll need me here to oversee the work. But ours is a rescue mission. It always has been."
A few minutes later, Carol turns the television off when the program ends. She glances at Beth and Daryl, neither of whom have spoken yet. Beth feels overwhelmed by the news, overjoyed to the point of speechlessness, and she can't help but think of her father and his hope for a cure. Of course, according to what Eugene had shared, it only corrects the mutation in people who haven't turned yet, but they planned to keep working, to see if they could make something that could fix Walkers. He hadn't been as hopeful about that, understandably.
It was still a miracle that Beth had never considered could really happen.
Finally, she finds her voice. "This is incredible," she whispers.
Daryl clears his throat. "Sure is," he adds.
But it's Carol who says, "Who do you think they're gonna send out?"
Beth looks at Carol, not sure why she sounds so ominous.
"It's all volunteer," Daryl says. "They been asking for volunteers going on a week now."
"Well, that's good," Beth says. "I mean, they shouldn't make anyone go who doesn't want to. It's gonna be a dangerous mission. A lot of the people here couldn't make it out there, you know, since they never even got close to Walkers."
"Right," Carol says, nodding her head. Her eyes meet Beth's, but then move past her to Daryl.
That's when she feels it, the stillness in him. The quiet intensity. Beth turns her head to look at her boyfriend, and she feels tears burn her eyes all over again.
She doesn't feel surprised, not really. It isn't shocking to her, not when she considers who Daryl is. But anger lights her up anyway because she knows he's already made his decision, and he hadn't even talked to her about it.
His eyes don't quite meet hers, but he lifts his chin just slightly. "When y'all leaving?" she asks. She can't help how her voice is choked with tears.
Daryl shrugs. "They don't know for sure yet. They want us all vaccinated first, then..."
Beth reaches up, grabbing his jaw with her fingers, forcing him to look at her. "As soon as possible, though, right?"
He nods. "Yeah. I s'pect so."
Beth drops her hand back to her lap, just watching him for what feels like the longest minute of her life.
She doesn't know what to say, so she just gets up and walks out.
...chapter four...
Author: badboy_fangirl
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Characters/Pairings: Beth POV; Daryl/Beth; with appearances by everyone else.
Word Count: ~3700
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 / Spoilers through all of season four. MENTIONS OF RAPE, POSSIBLE TRIGGERS.
Summary:
Author's notes: This is a companion/continuation fic to Empty Handed. You may read it without having read the first fic, but it won't make as much sense, IMHO. Also, many thanks to Cricket for the beta.
Previous Chapters: [1] | [2]
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth'>
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
Over the next few days, Beth becomes infinitely familiar with Daryl's body. Not just touch and smell and taste, but how he feels in the moment when he lets go; when he's completely vulnerable to her.
It always reminds her of standing outside the moonshine shack with a dead Walker for their audience. He doesn't cry during sex, but there is that same level of openness, and the way his body trembles beneath hers, or on top of hers, shuddering and then relaxing.
She'd never say it to him, because it would just embarrass him, but she realizes now just what it meant when he wept in her arms that day. They had been fully clothed, and they hadn't been looking in each other's eyes, but it was the same.
They'd been making love.
And that's the other thing; she realizes that making love doesn't refer just to sex. And there's all kinds of ways to have sex, too. Sometimes he just looks at her, and it's like being in that moment with him. Sometimes it's just the brush of his fingers over hers.
Beth Greene is so in love with being in love, it's almost unbearable. And Daryl's the worst. Just, the way he fills her up and takes over everything and makes her unable to stop smiling?
It's a little bit embarrassing, especially a couple of days into it when Michonne is standing in the kitchen and she starts laughing, drawing Beth's attention to her.
"What?" she asks. "What's funny?"
Michonne shakes her head. "Somebody's getting some, is all I'm sayin'..."
It takes Beth a moment to even get that Michonne is teasing her, but she feels her cheeks flame rapturously. She ducks her head and says nothing, and Michonne laughs again. "Daryl's got that same look about him. He just kept grinning like a fool while we were on patrol earlier. I was glad my shift ended before his, because I was about ready to slap the smile off his face."
Beth's own smile can't be repressed now even if she wanted to, not with that information. So even though it's embarrassing, she turns back to the laundry she'd been folding and mutters, "Shut up."
Michonne all but cackles then, and Beth looks up helplessly. "Stop it!" she cries, grateful it's just the two of them. Judith is taking a nap and Carol's at her book club (which is so normal and weird at the same time, that there's a book club in their ever growing circle of friends).
"Oh, come on," Michonne grouses. "Give me a little dirt. Let me live vicariously through you!"
Before she can censor herself, Beth blurts, "You mean you and Rick haven't done it?" and though it's hard to see a flush with Michonne's skin tone, there is still a distinctive change to her expression.
"You tell me something first, then I'll tell you," Michonne says, arching a brow, recovering much faster than Beth had.
And really, Beth's been dying to say something, but her schedule has conflicted with Maggie's and any other spare time she's had, she's been at Daryl's, naked with him. So, she takes a deep breath and let's the floodgates open. "Ohmigod, Michonne. I love it. I love him. But I love it, you know? Like, the feeling of everything, his hands on me, his mouth..." Her cheeks are reddening even more, but she can't stop talking. "And when he's inside me--" She claps a hand over her mouth, and shakes her head. "Oh, god," she says from behind her own palm. "He would die if he knew I was telling you..."
Michonne draws two fingers across her lips and twists them, then tosses away a pretend key. "Your secret's safe with me, I'll never tell a soul, swear it."
Beth leans forward slightly and lowers her hand. "Well, there is something--I need to ask someone, and it's all new, you know, so," as Michonne nods encouragingly, Beth lowers her voice to a whisper. "Well. The first time we did it, the other night, we...didn't use a condom, because, well, reasons, but anyway, it was like, incredible. It felt, I don't even know how to say it. But, it was my first time, you know, really, and I think Daryl's been with some women, but not a lot, and neither of us, is you know, like, good, or whatever...but, ohmigod. I know people love sex and make a big deal about it and stuff, but yeah. I understand why now."
She feels instantly more guilty, because even talking about it arousing her, and making her imagine going over to his place when he gets off work and having her way with him, with no condoms. "It doesn't feel as good with the condom," she confides, her voice at a normal volume. "I mean, it feels different, you know, like I can't feel all of him, so..." She shrugs. "It's still awesome, though. I mean, there's so many things you can do! And Daryl's like, here, let's try this thing I heard about even though he's embarrassed most of the time. He's cute.
"Is that normal, though? That the condom changes everything?" Beth asks, finally getting to the actual question.
Michonne looks thoughtful as she comes over the kitchen table where Beth is folding her pile of towels. She picks one up, and starts pressing the corners together. "Condoms do change things--I'd say more for the fella than the lady on most occasions, but...there is something that could account for what you're talkin' about." She pauses and Beth realizes now why her girlfriends in high school told each other everything, it was a good way to get vital information.
"Is he circumcised?" Michonne asks.
Beth pauses, her eyes drifting from Michonne's face as she sets a folded towel off to the side. A beat passes and everything suddenly clicks into place. The difference she noticed about Daryl that she hadn't spent much time dwelling on since their first time becomes clear. She kept meaning to ask him about his appearance, but then he'd distract her with his mouth in various places, and she just lost track of time, and thoughts, and everything.
Beth raises her gaze back to Michonne's. "He's not. I just realized--" She blushing again, but Michonne smiles and waves a hand like it's no big deal.
"Not all men are...and from what you just described, I'd guess that's what's going on," Michonne continues. "Because I've been with both, men who are and men who aren't, and I'd say there's a big difference in...sensation...for the woman if the man isn't. I mean, there's a pretty big difference as it is. Uncut, in my humble opinion, is much better. Much better. A condom would definitely dull that some, or a lot, I suppose, depending on your experience." Her smile widens a little, and Beth can't help but wonder if she's remembering someone from her past. "Since this is the only way you know it, you're spoiled, gotta say." She gives Beth a wink, and Beth giggles, because yeah. "But," Michonne says sharply, "you gotta use birth control, Beth. You're too young to be having a baby just yet. And you and Daryl oughta have a serious conversation before you do something like that anyway."
Beth doesn't want a baby right now, that's for sure, but she and Daryl have already had a serious talk, and she defends herself with, "We love each other. We talked about that stuff." Which isn't entirely true. She'd said they should use protection and he agreed, that had been the extent of their communication on the subject. "I'm his girl and he's my man. I mean, if we had a baby, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
Michonne smiles gently. "No, no, it wouldn't, but it would change everything. So all's I'm saying is be sure you're ready for that kinda change. Children are wonderful, they are. But they complicate matters."
Beth nods, instantly feeling less defensive just because of the tone of voice Michonne used. She stares at her friend for just a moment before she prods, "Okay, so you and Rick, yeah?"
Michonne definitely blushes, Beth is positive.
When they finally see each other the next day, Beth talks to Maggie about birth control. Her sister goes with her to the doctor to get a prescription, because in a post-apocalyptic world, you can actually get in to see your doctor the same day you call in. Beth happily waits for Debbie, the nurse practitioner who had checked her out when she first got to D.C. She's not sure if Debbie remembers her at first, as it had been several months since she'd first come in. When Beth says she'd like to get on birth control, the woman smiles warmly.
"So," she says, looking at Beth's chart. "Things are going well for you?"
"Yes," Beth says, and then she shows her the piece of paper that Maggie had written down Ortho-Tri-Cyclen Lo on. "Is it possible to get this kind? That's what my sister used, before the turn."
Debbie nods her head. "I'm pretty sure the Ortho-Tri-Cyclens are the ones that they never stopped making, but let me double check my list." She slides across the room on her wheeled stool and flips a folder open. "Yep, here it is. But remember, everybody's different, so just because your sister used this one just fine doesn't mean it will be perfect for you. Give it a month, but if any of the side effects are bothering you, come back in and let's try something else, okay?"
"Okay," Beth agrees.
There was a time when she would have expected the worst, but ever since her family showed up in D.C., she sees everything differently. She just knows that the pills will work, and that she'll be fine, and she hugs Debbie before she leaves her office, which she can tell startles her. She laughs awkwardly and pats Beth's back.
She and Maggie walk to the pharmacy, the same one they'd met in just three days earlier, when she and Daryl had gone to buy condoms. Maggie had smiled knowingly then, pulling Beth just a ways away from the men so she could tease Beth with, "You aren't gonna like it when I throw a fit about the condoms in your bag."
It had been a thing for years, at least before the turn, where Maggie would get over-the-top angry about something silly the way Beth had the day she found birth control pills in her sister's stuff. It had always been a joke, Maggie making her eyes go wide and saying something like, I can't believe you put lime juice in the salsa! Their parents had never known what they were talking about, and that had been half the fun.
Now, as they leave the pharmacy, with the assurance that Beth can pick up her pills the next day, she loops her arm through Maggie's. "You 'member that movie, 10 Things I Hate About You, the one Momma thought was scandalous so she got up and left the room when we were watching it?"
Maggie laughs. "Oh, yeah. She didn't like that teacher who was writin' the romance novel."
Beth smiles, remembering her mother's horrified expression. "I 'bout wore out the CD I had of the soundtrack, and there was this one song on there called "I Know" and there was this line in that song about how her momma warned her about bad boys." Beth giggles and then clears her throat to sing, "Stay away from bad boys, they got one thing on their minds. Their hormones are raging and they want it, all the time, and let me just say that it's not just a boy thing."
Maggie laughs harder, bending over slightly as they continue trying to walk up the street, back towards hers and Glenn's apartment. "I remember thinking that day you got so mad when you found the birth control in my bag, oh, someday you'll understand, babygirl. But I couldn't explain it to ya, you had to figure it out for yourself." She tightens her arm around Beth's. "I'm glad that you're havin' that experience. I'm glad that not everythin' got ruined, Bethy."
Beth squeezes Maggie in return. "Me, too," she says simply.
After Daryl agrees to move in with her, Carol, and Michonne, and once he thinks beyond just "living with Beth," he starts grumbling at her about being out-numbered in a house full of women. She tells him that she thinks Michonne will move out eventually because she and Rick are quietly together; that turns into quite a gossip session about Rick's old-fashioned ideas since Carl's seeing everything, and how cute Michonne is about it, and Daryl just stares at her.
"What?" Beth asks.
"Didja just call Michonne cute?" He gives her a smirk. "She would samurai your ass for that no doubt."
"No, she wouldn't. She and I understand each other. We both fell in love out here, in this crazy time. It's different, and special. Not everyone gets the chance, you know."
Daryl falls silent, but nods his head at her. His eyes are soft, the way they always are when she slips something in about how she loves him. She's pretty sure he's never gonna get used to it, but she still tries to say it as often as she can, both in epic ways (like while he's got her pressed against the bedroom wall and he's rolling a condom on and pushing inside her in some amazing smooth move that neither of them would ever accredit to him) and casual ways like right now, when they're sitting at the kitchen table eating sandwiches.
Their roomies aren't currently home, which allowed them to discuss certain things. "I should probably tell you, just to be honest," Beth says, and his eyes come back to hers quickly, a touch of panic in them. "I talked to Russ in Housing, and made sure he never found a good place for you, on purpose. I wanted you stuck at the Dorms so that when I asked you to move in, you'd really want to, you know, just to get out of there."
She knows a part of him is always worried, even though he's never said so. Something inside of him won't quite let him believe that she's always going to want him, and she's seen it in his face many times when she innocently brings up a serious topic for discussion.
He's in mid-bite as she shares this information with him, though, and he just shakes his head at her as he chews and swallows. "Girl, you're nuts, y'know that?"
It's almost funny how he can't see that her insecurities are similar to his, but she just smiles, ducks her head, and let's him reassure her. "I would fucking pay to live here. With you. Ya nut."
As they're washing their dishes, he slides his body in behind hers, rubbing himself not-so-subtly against her ass. He's whispering kisses down the back of her neck, and Beth can feel the familiar heat spreading everywhere. "You know," she says, her voice high and breathless. "We can start having sex without condoms now. My pills are in full effect." She's pretty sure they'd both been counting down on that, but they'd both pretended not to care that much.
He chuckles and hums a happy, anticipatory sound, the vibration skipping down her spine as she rinses her hands under the warm water. He reaches around her to shut the faucet off, and she purposely arches her backside more firmly into his hips. His breath hitches, but he says, "And I got a whole passel a condoms leftover, too. What'm I gonna do with 'em?"
His fingers undo the buttons of her blouse, push the lapels open, and then strip the cups of her bra clean off her breasts in a rapid motion that leaves her aroused nipples nestled in the palms of his hands. He squeezes her flesh and groans against her neck when she moans, "What's a passel?"
He turns her around quickly, mutters something about giving her an English lesson later, and then whisks her down the hall to the bedroom.
Beth's memory of the naked feel of him was not something she had exaggerated. She screams when she comes, because they are better at this now than they were the first time, and it feels like she's flying into a million pieces. A long while passes before Daryl tells her, his voice rough, that they might need to get their own place if she's gonna be that noisy. Then he defines passel for her, and proceeds to give her a passel of orgasms, since neither Carol nor Michonne return home any time soon.
Television is a part of the new world order in D.C., though not the way it had been before. There were channels with reruns, but the only new shows were cheap, public broadcast things that reminded Beth of plays she'd seen in her high school.
All the same, they watched TV, from time to time. And nobody missed the News, because any word about the growth of other communities outside their own gave them hope.
Periodically, they heard trickle-downs from Abraham through Rick about Eugene's work, and that's when Beth learned in full just why the group had come to Washington to begin with. And then, one day, on Breaking News, there it was: A cure had been successfully created. The first to take it had been some older people, all volunteers according to the journalist, who were expected to die within one to six months post-injection from natural causes.
Daryl and the others had been in Washington for almost five months, which meant Beth had been there almost a year. And the first person who died, an 82-year old man named Wallace Trenton, had not reanimated. Under the careful watch of doctors and scientists, he had gone the way of his Maker, and stayed that way.
Beth and Carol sat on their sofa, holding hands and crying as the journalist thanked Eugene and two doctors who had agreed to interviews for being with her. They answered questions for more than an hour, and Daryl came bursting in the door from work during that time. He had obviously run all the way there, and he gasped, "Didja hear...?" but fell silent when he saw that they were already watching the broadcast.
Sinking down on the sofa on the other side of Beth, they all watched without speaking as the interview went on.
"So, what is the next move from here, Dr. Porter?"
Eugene cocked an eyebrow, and then turned his eyes right to the camera. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked. "We get it reproduced as quickly as possible, and then we get it out to everyone. First Washington, and then every person on the other side of our walls that we can find."
"How will that be done?"
"Well, I think we're gonna have to leave the safety of our little world here, or at least some people will. I assume there will be a call to arms. Not that I'll be going of course, because they'll need me here to oversee the work. But ours is a rescue mission. It always has been."
A few minutes later, Carol turns the television off when the program ends. She glances at Beth and Daryl, neither of whom have spoken yet. Beth feels overwhelmed by the news, overjoyed to the point of speechlessness, and she can't help but think of her father and his hope for a cure. Of course, according to what Eugene had shared, it only corrects the mutation in people who haven't turned yet, but they planned to keep working, to see if they could make something that could fix Walkers. He hadn't been as hopeful about that, understandably.
It was still a miracle that Beth had never considered could really happen.
Finally, she finds her voice. "This is incredible," she whispers.
Daryl clears his throat. "Sure is," he adds.
But it's Carol who says, "Who do you think they're gonna send out?"
Beth looks at Carol, not sure why she sounds so ominous.
"It's all volunteer," Daryl says. "They been asking for volunteers going on a week now."
"Well, that's good," Beth says. "I mean, they shouldn't make anyone go who doesn't want to. It's gonna be a dangerous mission. A lot of the people here couldn't make it out there, you know, since they never even got close to Walkers."
"Right," Carol says, nodding her head. Her eyes meet Beth's, but then move past her to Daryl.
That's when she feels it, the stillness in him. The quiet intensity. Beth turns her head to look at her boyfriend, and she feels tears burn her eyes all over again.
She doesn't feel surprised, not really. It isn't shocking to her, not when she considers who Daryl is. But anger lights her up anyway because she knows he's already made his decision, and he hadn't even talked to her about it.
His eyes don't quite meet hers, but he lifts his chin just slightly. "When y'all leaving?" she asks. She can't help how her voice is choked with tears.
Daryl shrugs. "They don't know for sure yet. They want us all vaccinated first, then..."
Beth reaches up, grabbing his jaw with her fingers, forcing him to look at her. "As soon as possible, though, right?"
He nods. "Yeah. I s'pect so."
Beth drops her hand back to her lap, just watching him for what feels like the longest minute of her life.
She doesn't know what to say, so she just gets up and walks out.
...chapter four...