(no subject)
Hi, I'm Anna, and I'm unashamedly agnostic.
Yes, I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic, baptized, confirmed, had first Communion, and all that good stuf. I even studied in a Catholic school, but that doesn't exactly count since I remember very distinctly that in my last year in DIS, there was the whopping number of three students who were actually Catholic in the whole high school. Among those three, none were actually practicing or even actually acknoledged the fact that they actually where Catholic other than going up for Communion during Mass. So basically, there are no real religious Catholic students in the Dominican International School.
Growing up with very Filipino and very religious parents, I was taken to attend Mass every Saturday for the anticipated Mass in English at St. Christopher's Parish. Ironically, I was the altar girl; being the only girl to ever serve as a sacristan in our church, I apparently started a trend, and soon after, many other little girlst started serving as well. What amuses me, though, is the fact that the only reason I started serving was because it was the "cool" thing to do. As "one of the guys", I got jealous because all my friends were all becoming sacristans and I couldn't, so I begged and pleaded, and eventually allowed me to be one, too. I started when I was in the first grade, and have been one until the day I left Taiwan. You would have thought that I was the typical child who prayed before I went to sleep, asking God to bless pretty much everyone I had come in contact with that day. Sorry, not quite.
As time went by, for some reason there were things that happened in my life that I cannot exactly recall at the moment that made me lose my trust in the Big Guy. I was always taught that if I prayed hard enough and if I was good, I would get what I wanted if I just asked God. My first ever disappointment was when I prayed everyday for months on end for a little brother or sister, and I swear I was the perfect little child, too. As a child, of course I didn't understand that it was just not possible, but it was then that I started to wonder if what my parents were telling me was true. There were many cases like that, even up to around the time I turned 13. Everytime I wanted something so badly, or if I needed guidance of any sort, I would pray. Pretty much the opposite of everything I asked for is what I got. How's that for motivation to pray and trust in the Lord?
It may seem like I'm just a spoiled little brat who got angry at the Guy Upstairs because I didn't get what I wanted from him. It's not purely selfish that caused me to think the way I do about the Catholic religion. One example that comes to mind when I try to think of proof... It is common knowledge that the Philippines is the only predominantly Roman Catholic country in all of Asia. Why, then, is the Philippines almost the poorest country in the whole world? Not just poorest, because that would seem materialistic, but really the morals here are nowhere to be found. Everyone lives in the constant fear that they might snatched, slashed, held up, kidnapped, raped, etc, and this is in a supposedly religious country. Aren't those sins that directly contradict the Ten Commandments? That and so much more have convinced me, not that there is no God, but that there is probably some other ultimate being out there who may have more proof that living the life of that religion would truly make us complete, having us not to live in fear but in faith.
Don't get me wrong... I am not an atheist who believes that no such thing as spirituality exists. I'm all for the religions and the culture that goes with it. I just don't believe that I should confine myself to one single faith that has yet to prove itself to me. True, who am I to demand proof of the existence of the Almighty God, but really, how am I supposed to trust in someone who goes against His claim to be the one to protect and to give us what we need? I have yet to find something or someone that I can put my total faith in because I know for sure that I will not be let down.
Yes, a little rant on religion triggered by our INTACT class today at the time we were asked what we pray for. I remembered that I really don't pray and that's including fact, I , too, am in the same place and the same time in the same situation as everyone else whoe does pray. How is praying to God supposed to make a difference?
note: to all those offended, I'm sorry, this is the way i feel. feel free to disagree with me, just don't give me a lecture on how wrong you may believe that i am. we are all entitled to our own opinions, so you live in your world, and i'll live in mine. everyone's happy.
Yes, I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic, baptized, confirmed, had first Communion, and all that good stuf. I even studied in a Catholic school, but that doesn't exactly count since I remember very distinctly that in my last year in DIS, there was the whopping number of three students who were actually Catholic in the whole high school. Among those three, none were actually practicing or even actually acknoledged the fact that they actually where Catholic other than going up for Communion during Mass. So basically, there are no real religious Catholic students in the Dominican International School.
Growing up with very Filipino and very religious parents, I was taken to attend Mass every Saturday for the anticipated Mass in English at St. Christopher's Parish. Ironically, I was the altar girl; being the only girl to ever serve as a sacristan in our church, I apparently started a trend, and soon after, many other little girlst started serving as well. What amuses me, though, is the fact that the only reason I started serving was because it was the "cool" thing to do. As "one of the guys", I got jealous because all my friends were all becoming sacristans and I couldn't, so I begged and pleaded, and eventually allowed me to be one, too. I started when I was in the first grade, and have been one until the day I left Taiwan. You would have thought that I was the typical child who prayed before I went to sleep, asking God to bless pretty much everyone I had come in contact with that day. Sorry, not quite.
As time went by, for some reason there were things that happened in my life that I cannot exactly recall at the moment that made me lose my trust in the Big Guy. I was always taught that if I prayed hard enough and if I was good, I would get what I wanted if I just asked God. My first ever disappointment was when I prayed everyday for months on end for a little brother or sister, and I swear I was the perfect little child, too. As a child, of course I didn't understand that it was just not possible, but it was then that I started to wonder if what my parents were telling me was true. There were many cases like that, even up to around the time I turned 13. Everytime I wanted something so badly, or if I needed guidance of any sort, I would pray. Pretty much the opposite of everything I asked for is what I got. How's that for motivation to pray and trust in the Lord?
It may seem like I'm just a spoiled little brat who got angry at the Guy Upstairs because I didn't get what I wanted from him. It's not purely selfish that caused me to think the way I do about the Catholic religion. One example that comes to mind when I try to think of proof... It is common knowledge that the Philippines is the only predominantly Roman Catholic country in all of Asia. Why, then, is the Philippines almost the poorest country in the whole world? Not just poorest, because that would seem materialistic, but really the morals here are nowhere to be found. Everyone lives in the constant fear that they might snatched, slashed, held up, kidnapped, raped, etc, and this is in a supposedly religious country. Aren't those sins that directly contradict the Ten Commandments? That and so much more have convinced me, not that there is no God, but that there is probably some other ultimate being out there who may have more proof that living the life of that religion would truly make us complete, having us not to live in fear but in faith.
Don't get me wrong... I am not an atheist who believes that no such thing as spirituality exists. I'm all for the religions and the culture that goes with it. I just don't believe that I should confine myself to one single faith that has yet to prove itself to me. True, who am I to demand proof of the existence of the Almighty God, but really, how am I supposed to trust in someone who goes against His claim to be the one to protect and to give us what we need? I have yet to find something or someone that I can put my total faith in because I know for sure that I will not be let down.
Yes, a little rant on religion triggered by our INTACT class today at the time we were asked what we pray for. I remembered that I really don't pray and that's including fact, I , too, am in the same place and the same time in the same situation as everyone else whoe does pray. How is praying to God supposed to make a difference?
note: to all those offended, I'm sorry, this is the way i feel. feel free to disagree with me, just don't give me a lecture on how wrong you may believe that i am. we are all entitled to our own opinions, so you live in your world, and i'll live in mine. everyone's happy.