(no subject)
Have I mentioned how much I hate math?
I HATE MATH!!
Now, that that's out of my system, I can explain exactly why I despise mathematics with a passion so strong that nothing can convince m into thinking otherwise. Ever.
I mentioned yesterday that I spent all day studying for our first Math 11 Long Test, not counting the Diagnostic. Apparently, all those wasted hours were spent in vain because the second I took one look at our 6-question test paper, I knew I was done for. Even that P480 and one whole hour of my 3-hour break on Friday didn't do jack shit for my understanding of the whatnot of systems and circles and other insignificant mathematical mumbo jumbo. Spending almost all of today in the library didn't help, either because it really only got me more confused that ever. At precisely 12:30 PM, I officially gave up and left everything up to chance and good luck, if there is even such a thing as good luck.
Imagine my despair when I sat down in math class at 3PM and was passed the test paper. Just the first question and I was already hopeless, knowing that the questions would get harder as they went along. As usual, I did my math-test routine of writing down some sort of solution for every question in hope of getting at least partial points then going back to see if I can actually answer the questions. This time, I had the privilege of sneaking peeks at my seatmates paper. God knows how panicked I got when the teacher said that one more time she caught us peeking and she'd take our test papers away from us. I can deal with a low grade, but a zero? Hell no. I'm more than just 100% sure that I definitely did not get any answer right. I'm merely living in the hope that some of my solutions were fairly resonable and will therefore earn me at least 3 or 4 points per question.
My dad always told me that it was a good thing that I got involved in sports because it taught me good sportsmanship and not being upset with a loss. As always, I just had to find a down side to it. Being able to get over a loss quickly is not exactly a good thing for me because it makes me complacent. Over the years, I have learned to shrug things off, even if they are of the utmost importance. Like this math test, for example, after getting over the initial outrage, frustration, and confusion, I will just throw it aside and say, "Oh well.. Who cares?". Who cares? I care. Eventually it will hit me that I really have to find a way to pass the course because unlike high school, these grades actually matter. Failing this will not earn me a repeated school year, it can be partially responsible for my getting kicked out of school and ending up in some bulok restaurant as a waitress for the rest of my life. There goes my dream of becoming a lawyer. I am so going to kill myself (complete with the slashed wrists, throat, and pills so that it's sure) if my dream of one day being called Atty. Anna Castillo vanishes because of a stupid math lesson that I will not be needing my line of work anyway.
But then again, I'm getting way ahead of myself. Right now, I have to focus on this school year, and being able to absorb (even slightly) what is being shoved down my throat during my classes from 3 to 4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. After that, then the road will be clear for me to think about bigger and brighter thoughts. The theme of this year is focus, and lots of it. Someone give me a reality check. I need to know exactly how poorly I'm doing. Slap me if you have to. I'd slap you back but I'd thank you after.
I HATE MATH!!
Now, that that's out of my system, I can explain exactly why I despise mathematics with a passion so strong that nothing can convince m into thinking otherwise. Ever.
I mentioned yesterday that I spent all day studying for our first Math 11 Long Test, not counting the Diagnostic. Apparently, all those wasted hours were spent in vain because the second I took one look at our 6-question test paper, I knew I was done for. Even that P480 and one whole hour of my 3-hour break on Friday didn't do jack shit for my understanding of the whatnot of systems and circles and other insignificant mathematical mumbo jumbo. Spending almost all of today in the library didn't help, either because it really only got me more confused that ever. At precisely 12:30 PM, I officially gave up and left everything up to chance and good luck, if there is even such a thing as good luck.
Imagine my despair when I sat down in math class at 3PM and was passed the test paper. Just the first question and I was already hopeless, knowing that the questions would get harder as they went along. As usual, I did my math-test routine of writing down some sort of solution for every question in hope of getting at least partial points then going back to see if I can actually answer the questions. This time, I had the privilege of sneaking peeks at my seatmates paper. God knows how panicked I got when the teacher said that one more time she caught us peeking and she'd take our test papers away from us. I can deal with a low grade, but a zero? Hell no. I'm more than just 100% sure that I definitely did not get any answer right. I'm merely living in the hope that some of my solutions were fairly resonable and will therefore earn me at least 3 or 4 points per question.
My dad always told me that it was a good thing that I got involved in sports because it taught me good sportsmanship and not being upset with a loss. As always, I just had to find a down side to it. Being able to get over a loss quickly is not exactly a good thing for me because it makes me complacent. Over the years, I have learned to shrug things off, even if they are of the utmost importance. Like this math test, for example, after getting over the initial outrage, frustration, and confusion, I will just throw it aside and say, "Oh well.. Who cares?". Who cares? I care. Eventually it will hit me that I really have to find a way to pass the course because unlike high school, these grades actually matter. Failing this will not earn me a repeated school year, it can be partially responsible for my getting kicked out of school and ending up in some bulok restaurant as a waitress for the rest of my life. There goes my dream of becoming a lawyer. I am so going to kill myself (complete with the slashed wrists, throat, and pills so that it's sure) if my dream of one day being called Atty. Anna Castillo vanishes because of a stupid math lesson that I will not be needing my line of work anyway.
But then again, I'm getting way ahead of myself. Right now, I have to focus on this school year, and being able to absorb (even slightly) what is being shoved down my throat during my classes from 3 to 4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. After that, then the road will be clear for me to think about bigger and brighter thoughts. The theme of this year is focus, and lots of it. Someone give me a reality check. I need to know exactly how poorly I'm doing. Slap me if you have to. I'd slap you back but I'd thank you after.