mysteries of life
well, i know in most of my past bursts of typing, i may have said that i can feel that i am something more than anything taht anyone else can relate to. well, now i am at the point where it may begin. i have recently begun an extradition into the unknown. i have to understand how to preserve myself eternally. i somehow got some clues taht there are rules. but i dont know when you learn these rules and how to follow them. it is also a huge possibility that these rules are just created by man to slightly understand what i am talking about to a small degree. anyway, ghosts have become to fascinate my imagination to such a degree that i am nearly obsessed. i know i have a way overactive imagination, so my current rants could be easily debunked later on. i just now feel like my current place of residence is haunted. it feels like i am usually watched and that i could actually provoke whatever may be there. i have actually had a quite a few dreams about ghosts and dying. its not that im obsessed with dying. its completely the opposite. the value of life is beyond our comprehension. even christians can never understand what the true value of life is. somehow i know. i also have felt that darkness, which i think i spoke of before. this is why i've become more obsessed in ghosts. ghosts seem to be outlaws of the universe. they intrigue me because they sort of shows us that there is some sort of world beyond this one. but just like this one, there are rules. and even better, there are rules that interact with both of our worlds, affecting both sides. it's like a no man's land with these rules. each side seems to unknowingly know them and as long as we stick to them, we'll be alright. but fully understanding these "hidden" rules will help me go beyond this life. i was thinking about actually getting a oiuja board and trying to contact my ghost "roommate". whenever i mention this idea, though, i seem to get alot of negative feedback from friends. everybody claims that those things can bring evil. well, i recall having quite an evil dream proclaiming my soul to be the ruler of all souls in this lost dimension. so what would i have to fear. to be safe, i decided i will have to weigh the pros and cons first before jumping into it. maybe a little bit of experimentation will help. in any case, i really just want to conact a soul and find out what they know. but i suppose that rumor has it they dont like to be bothered. my anger that subsides in me tells me that i dont like to be bothered either and tehre's room for only of of us if they don't like to play. so i need to understand what the exact rules are so i don't fall into a trap of my own doing. if ouija boards are truly evil, then i may be infringing on certain boundaries, causing an uneven battlefield for the negotiations table. until i know more information, this is all i have for now. eventually, i will have hopefully cracked some of the rules and i will possibly share them, if for anything, future use by generations to see what i may have done wrong.