forgetting who i am. . .remembering who i was
so i gots a few things to say now. . .obviously one topic is about this. . .girl i know, so lets just start off like this. . .you tell someone you love them adn they mean it. . .its a good feeling to konw somebody loves you, right? then shit happens and she says "ill never stop loving you" which is really heart warming. but then, 4 days later she says, "im not in love with you right now" Can anyone please tell me if this makes any sense? please let me know your thoughts about this. . .anyways, but yeah, ive thought about it recently and im gonna start living my own life. not that i wasnt before or anything, but i would wait around for her and was always there for her, but im done with that shit, i realized it got me nowhere and she hasnt shown me the same respect in a long long time. so i now have the mentality that well, if she loves me, then she'll come back. . .if she doesnt come back, then she didnt love me. . .pretty simple eh? another thing that bothered me was i looked at nikkis journal, and this girl comments in her journal saying, i thought we were gonna be best friends through the thick and thin, but how is that possible when "this girl" told me on the phone, "all i have is my neighbor and thats all i fucking need" sooo hmmmm. . .im not tryin to start shit, but why cant this girl ever, and i mean ever stick to one side of the story. i dont know it just makes me mad that she thinks the whole world is out to get her, but whatever, im not one to worry about it anymore. i wouldnt say ive wasted my time, but ive spent, to much time trying to make her happy and understand her and well, its just not worth it anymore to me right now, she acts this way for a reason im guessing, soooo like i said. . .if she really does love me, then she will be back, but for now, ill enjoy what i got
on a much better note, my good buddy warner wanted to celebrate my bday in canadada = ) which was just, fuckin amazing. me and warner set sail at about 330ish and decided to check out the hotel and wait for manees to get outta work, which he didnt until about 5 or so. until the time manees got there me and warner walked around windsor for a few, went to the beer store, got lost, grabbed a bite to eat, which sucked and then we went back to the hotel and had a few beers. manees calls us up and he meets us in front of the hotel and off we go to the casino. me and manees never went to the casino before so we thought it would be a fun thing to do, until we ended up losing all the money we put in, but oh well shit happens, but warner won like, 112 bucks, bastard. . .hah, but then after we were done gambling we went to the bar within the casino and all got a glass of jack and coke. then we left and went to the beer store again for manees and i bought some killer Coors Light swimming trunks and then off to the hotel we went. warner bought some little sour apple vodka things, basically a shot, so we each did that, had another beer and went for a little swim to check out the pool and hot tub. nothing to exciting so then we went up to the room, had another beer, and showered and got ready and headed out for the night. it was damn cold and we had to walk everywhere we went, and we really didnt have a good idea of where to go, so we took a few left turns, a few right turns and there we were. we stopped and got some subway and the dude workin there was like yeah, you guys should check out The Beach, and were like, yeah, ok whatever. so as were walkin, these dudes on the corner are like, hey go to this club, cheap drinks, if you go now i can get you in for free, and were like no thanks, blah blah blah, then one dude comes up to us and says the same shit and manees is like, ok, so we all went to this club, and mind you, us 3 are not the fuckin clubbin type, but anyway, were in this club and im standin around thinkin to myself, what the fuck am i doing here, i dont belong in a club, and i look at warner and he had the same expression on his face that i did, and im like, dude, we gotta get outta here, and hes like yeah good idea. . .i turn to manees and im like, hey lets go somewhere else man, hes like, yeah, we arent clubbers. good point manees. anyways, we stayed there for like 20 mins or so then as were walkin and im like, hey lets go here. so we go in they check our ID and let us in and this place was jumpin. seemed like a cool place to stay so we go by the bar, get a round of jager bombs, do those and then they had these little pitchers with whatever you wanted in them so we get one with jack and coke. by the end of the night, i had 2 of those pitchers, warner had 2 and a half, and manees had 2 as well, so we were pretty set for the night. manees was a fun guy to be around. he would see a chick and be like, alright burns, ill be back. . .he would come back like 5 mins later empty handed. this happend to him about 7 or 8 times that night, but it all paid off, haha. me and warner just usually stuck around each other, i had no intention to go look for chicks cuz, well. . .i thought i had one but guess not anymore, but anyway i had to add that in there. . .sorry. . anywho, warner was talkin to this chick and she said she was like, a dancer for the pistons, so were gonna go to a pistons game and see if this chick is actually what she says. near the end of the night, warner went to the bathroom and me and manees were chillin by the bar, and these girls kept lookin at us, so im like, manees, 12 o'clock, so he walks over there, and i just stood where i was at cuz i was enjoying myself just watchin tv and shit and manees grabs me over there, and we start talkin to these girls then warner finally comes back. so me and him just sat there and chilled and next thing we know manees is gone. . .so called "non clubber" was on the dance floor with this chick, haha, so there all holdin hands and shit, it was cute, ill give it that, and then these girls were like, come to our place blah blah blah, so were all like, alright, thats fine. so theres about 7 chicks and us 3 and the girls call a cab and as we were walkin towards it, me and warner decided not to go, so manees is halfway in the car and were like, "hey manees, call us dude" haha, it was funny as hell. so me and warner stop at subway again and ate there and walked on back to the hotel and threw on are bathing suits and chilled in the hallway with some beers talkin to the people that walked by until the cops came and told us to go inside for some odd reason. . .we werent bein loud er nothin, but whatever. . .there canadians. . .so then me and warner went to bed and got a phone call from manees at about 8 or so in the morning saying that he needs to get back to the hotel but he dont have enough money. he had one of two choices, either to pay for a cab and not get back into America, or he would hike and have money to get back into our country. so he calls a cab, haha, but warner gave him a few bucks to get back home. and well, we went in the hot tub again, and got somethin to eat and headed for home. . .i want to thank warner and manees for speding there weekend with me and prolly giving me one of the best birthdays. . .and i thought my birthday was ruined, hah, its a good thing i got good friends.
on a much better note, my good buddy warner wanted to celebrate my bday in canadada = ) which was just, fuckin amazing. me and warner set sail at about 330ish and decided to check out the hotel and wait for manees to get outta work, which he didnt until about 5 or so. until the time manees got there me and warner walked around windsor for a few, went to the beer store, got lost, grabbed a bite to eat, which sucked and then we went back to the hotel and had a few beers. manees calls us up and he meets us in front of the hotel and off we go to the casino. me and manees never went to the casino before so we thought it would be a fun thing to do, until we ended up losing all the money we put in, but oh well shit happens, but warner won like, 112 bucks, bastard. . .hah, but then after we were done gambling we went to the bar within the casino and all got a glass of jack and coke. then we left and went to the beer store again for manees and i bought some killer Coors Light swimming trunks and then off to the hotel we went. warner bought some little sour apple vodka things, basically a shot, so we each did that, had another beer and went for a little swim to check out the pool and hot tub. nothing to exciting so then we went up to the room, had another beer, and showered and got ready and headed out for the night. it was damn cold and we had to walk everywhere we went, and we really didnt have a good idea of where to go, so we took a few left turns, a few right turns and there we were. we stopped and got some subway and the dude workin there was like yeah, you guys should check out The Beach, and were like, yeah, ok whatever. so as were walkin, these dudes on the corner are like, hey go to this club, cheap drinks, if you go now i can get you in for free, and were like no thanks, blah blah blah, then one dude comes up to us and says the same shit and manees is like, ok, so we all went to this club, and mind you, us 3 are not the fuckin clubbin type, but anyway, were in this club and im standin around thinkin to myself, what the fuck am i doing here, i dont belong in a club, and i look at warner and he had the same expression on his face that i did, and im like, dude, we gotta get outta here, and hes like yeah good idea. . .i turn to manees and im like, hey lets go somewhere else man, hes like, yeah, we arent clubbers. good point manees. anyways, we stayed there for like 20 mins or so then as were walkin and im like, hey lets go here. so we go in they check our ID and let us in and this place was jumpin. seemed like a cool place to stay so we go by the bar, get a round of jager bombs, do those and then they had these little pitchers with whatever you wanted in them so we get one with jack and coke. by the end of the night, i had 2 of those pitchers, warner had 2 and a half, and manees had 2 as well, so we were pretty set for the night. manees was a fun guy to be around. he would see a chick and be like, alright burns, ill be back. . .he would come back like 5 mins later empty handed. this happend to him about 7 or 8 times that night, but it all paid off, haha. me and warner just usually stuck around each other, i had no intention to go look for chicks cuz, well. . .i thought i had one but guess not anymore, but anyway i had to add that in there. . .sorry. . anywho, warner was talkin to this chick and she said she was like, a dancer for the pistons, so were gonna go to a pistons game and see if this chick is actually what she says. near the end of the night, warner went to the bathroom and me and manees were chillin by the bar, and these girls kept lookin at us, so im like, manees, 12 o'clock, so he walks over there, and i just stood where i was at cuz i was enjoying myself just watchin tv and shit and manees grabs me over there, and we start talkin to these girls then warner finally comes back. so me and him just sat there and chilled and next thing we know manees is gone. . .so called "non clubber" was on the dance floor with this chick, haha, so there all holdin hands and shit, it was cute, ill give it that, and then these girls were like, come to our place blah blah blah, so were all like, alright, thats fine. so theres about 7 chicks and us 3 and the girls call a cab and as we were walkin towards it, me and warner decided not to go, so manees is halfway in the car and were like, "hey manees, call us dude" haha, it was funny as hell. so me and warner stop at subway again and ate there and walked on back to the hotel and threw on are bathing suits and chilled in the hallway with some beers talkin to the people that walked by until the cops came and told us to go inside for some odd reason. . .we werent bein loud er nothin, but whatever. . .there canadians. . .so then me and warner went to bed and got a phone call from manees at about 8 or so in the morning saying that he needs to get back to the hotel but he dont have enough money. he had one of two choices, either to pay for a cab and not get back into America, or he would hike and have money to get back into our country. so he calls a cab, haha, but warner gave him a few bucks to get back home. and well, we went in the hot tub again, and got somethin to eat and headed for home. . .i want to thank warner and manees for speding there weekend with me and prolly giving me one of the best birthdays. . .and i thought my birthday was ruined, hah, its a good thing i got good friends.