Put me out of my misery!!!!!!
What is misery??? Its a question that has always ponderd on my mind. Is it a false sense of hope or is it a false aliment that doctors and psycologist has developed to get people to come to them and talk about there probs or take there pills. Is it somthin that can be controlled or is it a disease??? Ive lived w a misery for a good part of my life. Ive never felt like i belong w my family or anyone around me. Ive only felt comfortable w one person and that was found also to be a false sence of hope at the time. Now i find that person to be the best friend i have even though that was the person who has hurt me the most. Now go figure the person who let you down the most is the person who i can trust the most now lol. I dont understand it hell i dont even know if its a subconscious hope that i can trust this person. I would like to think that all is well and there r no worries but then again in life how do you have that security. There is nothing that will give u that security you always will have that fear its just are you ready to take the chance to get hurt again or see if it will work. There is nothing anyone will ever be able to tell you to ease your mind or to make it all go away. It will haunt me for the rest of my life and let me tell you its hard to swallow at times. There are sooo many things i wish i could change in my life that i did in the past. Guess what i cant im stuck w my descisions and mistakes. All i can hope for is that i learned enough from them all not to make them again. I think the hardest thing for me is the whole drug issue. Living in a small town like i do that is all there is to do is get fucked up to pass the boredom. My father was a alcholic so im leary of just drinkin cause i dont want to end up like he did. I guess thats y i chose other means to drown out my misery. Hell i guess i just did a full three sixty and i have learned how to self medicate myself i say fuck the big man fuck hsi so called leagal drugs fuck the doc bills i can cope w myself in my own way without someone tellin me its right or wrong. Who is our govt to tell us that a unmaufactured untainted plant is illegal to eat smoke or anything hell illeagal to grow even. Next thing u know there gonna be sayin u can get high off a christmas tree or hell u cant even call it a christmas tree. I dont know about all of u but let me tell you one thing if all of us young people dont stand up and make a change for our future our children w reap worse than we r reapin from out own parents mistakes. you think its hard to find a job now??? Just wait if we keep lettin everyone send our jobs to other countries and then send there products back to us for nothing at all. Just wait pretty soon everyone will be fleeing to mexico and canada just to find a job it is a disease that will spread its starting w the bigger companies but soon it will trickle down to us. It has already started and will not stop untill we make it stop. Well i got a lil off subjuct but its a subject that ive been pondering also lol. I will elaborate more on it at a later time
Well if ANYONE noes how to stop my misery let me know Im open to all sugjestions Laterz all i hope this finds u in good health and finds u all doin well and happy in life i miss you all and u know who u r laterz love ya all
The Mental Assasin
Well if ANYONE noes how to stop my misery let me know Im open to all sugjestions Laterz all i hope this finds u in good health and finds u all doin well and happy in life i miss you all and u know who u r laterz love ya all
The Mental Assasin