Miserable

[bad_day_magnet]

Do you ever just get the urge to push people out of your life? I don't mean people that have wronged you either. I'm talking about people that you love. For some strange reason I'm always doing that. It makes no real logical sense, I know. But sometimes I just think that my life would be easier if certain people weren't in it. And it kind of hurts to think that about people, especially when they haven't done anything to deserve me thinking like that. Maybe it's a control issue? Maybe I just like having control. I mean by me ending it, I'm controlling it. Maybe I'm scared of an inevitable end. Inevitable = No control. Hmm. So maybe it is a control thing. I don't know. Or maybe it's just comes with the really bad mood swings. Who knows. Or maybe it's just because I'm miserable.

Yeah, I'm miserable. More miserable then I think I have been in a long while. And I dunno. I'm just lost and miserable. Sometimes I just feel so close to the edge. And sometimes I just feel like taking a running leap. I'm just that miserable.

Maybe I'll be happier next time.