Now - Chapter 9 - "Errand Boy"
parings: Jaemin/Minjae
rated: n-17 (smut, violence, gore, murder)
genre: angst, drama, au
length: complete
disclaimer: english isn't my native language
Changmin was a hired assassin, a cold and empty man, prepared to die any day without having never believed in love. One night, he felt his heart beat fast when he saw the pale skin and dark eyes that seemed to be a demon of sex, a succubus - the young and beautiful stripper Youngwoong. Without realizing, he was attracted by a network of lies, hatred and revenge, unable to resist his treacherous heart that fell in love with someone who wasn't who he seemed to be.
*not reviewed*[Changmin's POV]
"Don't lower your defense, you are using two knives, you can attack and defend at the same time." Jaejoong told me, and I bit my lip trying not to get distracted by his beautiful black eyes, now that he is a few inches. I should be accustomed to its presence and its beauty, but my heart is so proud to love this person, no matter his flaws - well, 'maybe the fact that none of his flaws is linked to his appearance' as Yunho mentioned once.
His soul is broken, but his heart is still strong; i'm so in love with his heart, loving a sadistic killer may not be as difficult as it seems, I think.
"Come on, Jaejoongie!" I said, sitting down on the ground, exhausted. "I surrender!"
He sighed and I knew he was a bit annoyed. But he couldn't stay angry for long. Instead, he decided to play the spoiled, puffing his cheeks and pouting.
He was teaching me how to fight with knives - like him. I told him that I know how to use firearms, there is no need to use a knife as a ninja. He said firearms are noisy, knives are silent. I told him that knives make a lot of dirt - bloody dirt - and I don't like blood that much, but he wouldn't hear me.
We were in a large and dusty abandoned warehouse, Jaejoong made that place his second home.
We were half naked and sweaty and if Yunho and Yoochun weren't there, I would make sure we are also without pants and underwear. I want to make love again.
"Jaejoongie, is it really necessary to learn to fight with knives?"
"We've talked about this a thousand times." He sat beside me.
I heard the muffled sounds coming from the other end of the large shed. Yunho was beating Yoochun again? He will not be able to learn hapkido so easily, he is a mercenary, not a fighter.
Jaejoong isn't one nor the other, neither fighter nor mercenary, he's just a boy with bloodlust.
Looking directly at me, the Kitten said "You want me to stop my revenge."
I don't know what we're avenging. He didn't tell me about it.
"Honey," I said, touching his face "I'm tired of bloodshed. I just wanna take care of you, heal your wounds, make you smile."
He wasn't impressed by my words, I would have more success convincing a statue.
"Changmin, I promise, it'll be over soon."
"So what we need to do to get revenge without killing anyone?"
"But I need to kill. Just so I'll be able to sleep in peace."
"Did you sleep very well last night."
"It was.. because you was there... But... But the other night I tried to kill you ! "
"Let's not talk about it again Kitten, I told him I forgive you, you were having a nightmare-"
"That's what you don't understand!" He screamed and our two friends stopped fighting to watch us. "This is the only way ! If I do that I will not have nightmares anymore! This is killing me inside, you can't stop me now!"
I thought I could heal his broken soul , but he is looking for a cure in more bloodshed. I don't wanna be like that.
I sighed and scratched his head. "Jaejoong, tell me who to look for, I bring this man to you. You cut his head off and we got rid of it. "
I heard Yoochun hissed scared, he knew me very well and act like it wasn't my style .
He laughed sarcastically and rose from the ground, and before he went away he muttered " You know why I want you to learn to fight with knives?... Because you don't need to load ammunition."
He had said that because not all our ammunition would be enough ?
"How many people he want to kill?"
I heard the footsteps of Yunho and Yoochun before they sit near me .
Yoochun was horrible , breathless , sweaty and exhausted, but Yunho did not show any tiredness.
"Probably a lot." Yunho said.
"The notebook is full of names." Yoochun said.
"What does that mean, Yunho? What is the meaning of this revenge? "
He looked at the door for a moment, making sure that Jaejoong couldn't hear him. "Why do you think Jaejoong didn't tell you about what this is revenge? "
"He doesn't trust me?"
"He didn't want to lose your confidence."
"What do you mean by that?" Yoochun asked.
I hate when people don't go to the point where people are saying important things.
"He doesn't want you to think that he is weak. He is ashamed of his past."
"I don't care about his past."
"Shut up, Changmin." Yoochun said "I want to know his story."
"Back then, they called him 'Errand Boy'." Yunho said.
-[Yunho's POV] flashback
The first time I saw the Errand Boy, he was pale and thin. We had eleven years old, back then. There was a cut on one of his lips, and that was why he was bleeding every time he bit his lips .
I was the new employee , just a kid who was assistant gardener... But he... he was no one.
One night, I was hungry and sneaked into the kitchen, I just wanted to eat some cookies. But, fascinated by the richly decorated home, I could not resist and I snuck a few rooms. In the living room, there was a very beautiful vase, white with delicate blue designs. I touched the object, expecting to feel some relief on the designs, but the vase was very delicate and light, with a simple touch, I dropped it on the floor. The sound of delicate china shattering on the marble floor was not as high as I expected, but certainly too high to keep my discretion.
"Look at the mess you've done, boy." Said another child who had appeared on the stairs.
She was partially hidden by the shade, so I saw only one side of her face.
"Please, girl, don't tell anyone!" I whispered in panic. I would be beaten by invading the place and break that stupid vase.
"I 'm not a girl ! "
He was wearing an old, ripped, big white shirt for his slim body .
" Please keep your voice down!"
"What's your name?"
"My name is Yunho . What's yours?"
"Well, Yunho-ah, tell me, why should I protect to you?"
"Because if you tell that I did it , they will beat me ! "
He descended the steps . Had not told me his name, and although he said it wasn't a girl, I could not see him as a boy .
"If they didn't know it was you , they will blame me. I can't run away...You have parents, Yunho?"
"I have."
"If you get hurt, they will be worried about you?"
"Of course!"
He walked a little more, and then I could see the side of his face was hidden by the shadow was covered by a purplish bruise. A cut on his forehead was covered with clotted blood.
"I have nobody to care for me, Yunho-ah. If they want to punish me, if they want to hit me or play with my body, no one will pray for me, you understand what I'm saying?"
I was too shocked to be able to give you an answer. What scared me most was that he began to smile, but it was not a real smile, a child should never seem so daunting.
"W- What's your name?" I asked , hearing the sound of the footsteps of someone coming from somewhere to know where it came the sound of broken glass. I couldn't ask for that kid get hit in my place, but I was a kid, and I was too scared.
"My name? I have no name... They call me the "Errand Boy" or "Errand Girl" when they want to mock me."
"You can't do anything for me?"
Then I would know that the errand boy had a function not only deliver messages, but also spy and sabotage. Another day he would tell me how many people he had poisoned, stuck a knife in their chests during their sleep - the police wouldn't have suspected that a slim boy had broken into a property and made such an extreme act. Still, I never thought he was completely evil, he was just conditioned to live that rotten life, he had no choice.
"Please, help me Errand Boy?"
"Why should I help you, Yunho-ah, do you think that I would sacrifice myself for a kid I barely know?
There was no time to beg, I hid behind a chair just before a man into half dark room.
"You broke it?" He asked his errand boy.
My heart was pounding so hard that I feared they could hear him . He wouldn't sacrifice himself to protect a stranger, right?
But he said "Of course I did it , stupid. Are you seeing anyone else here ? "
Because of that , he had some broken ribs. He really sacrificed himself to protect me. And he kept doing it. I always knew, he wasn't a bad boy, not completely.
Nobody never laid a finger on me, he kept taking the blame for every bad thing I did, intentional or accidental, until I just started to behave like a good kid, who ever obeys and doesn't ask questions.
One afternoon, he came to me - I was piling mounds of manure in the backyard - and told me "You don't steal food anymore."
He was with another of his torn clothes, using crutches. He didn't make up excuses, he didn't say 'oops, I fell down the stairs', but I didn't need to be a genius to know what had happened to him again.
Instead of answering, I continued doing my work, a little annoyed.
"Yunho-ah, you didn't break any glass in the last month. Never dirtied the kitchen floor with clay, and-"
"Because every time I do something wrong, they beat you in my place. Why do you keep taking all my mistakes? I tried to convince them that I was a stupid and clumsy and they punished you again! Over and over and over again."
He laughed briefly . " You blame yourself for this, Yunho ah? Still think they need an excuse to do something bad to my body?"
I never felt so much hate in my life. He was just another boy.
"Why don't you run away?"
"Where would I go?"
I didn't know the answer, but I said "To hell would be better than this place."
He smiled and said "You're right."
"Why they are so bad?"
"Why do birds fly? Yunho, this is the nature of them. I don't think it's because this house belongs to the mafia, I don't know if all the mobsters are so cruel... But you know, the pain isn't what hurts me most, and moreover, I think because of these people, I'm a bit masochistic. What really hurts is humiliation"
I didn't know what to say.
"Yunho, you know that the owner of this mansion is my biological father? Have you seen him, of course, your boss."
I was impressed. It was a fact that I did not know.
"You know how elegant is that bad man? And I just got some old and torn clothes? It's because they know what hurts me the most is humiliation. He and his friends loves humiliate me every minute of my miserable life. At first I was angry because they were bad with everyone, but I got to a point I do not care anymore, why should I care for strangers?"
"You're not that bad, you save me."
He ignored me and said "I have no fear of death or pain ... but they will be afraid of me, when I'm strong enough to make them pay for all my bad moments." Saying this, he turned to leave, but before I heard him mutter " By the way my real name is Jaejoong. They don't call me by name because they forget it constantly."
-
[Changmin's POV]
Maybe I should be very angry with men on the Jaejoong's list. A list taken from his suffering, anger and anguish. But more than angry, I was sad. He never had a carefree time, a moment full of happiness, even when he was a kid, having learned the value of things is based on the level of pain.
I understand why he didn't want to leave his revenge, even I didn't want to kill anyone else, I want to kill every one of those names.
When I arrived at my house, he was sitting on the floor trying to sew the rags of the couch, there was blood on his fingertips because he was hurt while trying to sew, his hands were shaking so much.
"Kitten" I said, kneeling down in front and taking the needle from his hand. "You don't need do this."
He raised his eyes, and along with the sadness there was confusion.
"But they destroyed your home because of me!"
"Our home. Now this is our home. And because of that, I should be hurting me this way?" I kissed his bruised fingers.
"Please don't hurt yourself." He spoke in a low voice.
I hugged him and said "When you get hurt, I get hurt."
He hugged my neck was almost as tight as possible.
"I will not give up my revenge" he murmured and I thought, 'Well, I have to convince you to do this.'
"Can I ask you a kitten thing?"
"Yes?"
"Please take care." I said
Pulling away slightly so he could look me in the eye he said "I also have something to ask you."
Why I don't want to hear his request?
"I promise I'll be careful, and I'll not get hurt. But ... but if something bad happens, promise me you will not cry over me?"
"I can't "
What stupid kind of request is this, by the way?
"Please!"
"Oh ! " I needed desperately to change the subject. " There is one thing I still do not know . Who is my contractor? You don't need to pay assassins to kill in your place, then, who hired me and Yoochun to kill them?"
"Oh , I didn't tell you? His first name is Siwon. He was the one took me from where I lived when I was a kid. He taught me to fight, by the way He is a corrupt detective, I just I stole his list. He is no better than the others, he sends to kill anyone who contradicts or threatens him in some way. "
"He is a threat to us?"
Jaejoong thought a bit before answering. " Yes , I think so. He is jealous and should know that we've been fucking."
"We're not just ' fucking ', we're dating. "
"Oh, so it's official ? "
"Of course it is, you idiot. I love you and you love me period. We are the perfect couple."
"Perfect Couple ?" he laughed "But every perfect couple fightes a little bit , we aren't fighting now."
"But we fought frequently, especially in bed."
"So we aren't soulmates, Changmin - ah! We are Soulfighters!"
" Hmmm this sounds like a very sexy name for a couple. "
-
Jaejoong was sleeping while I stroked his forehead gently.
I just found out how precious life is after having known someone whose life was worse than mine.
It would be corny to say how love changes a person? I feel I 'm a better person now, with a sense in my life, taking care of those I love, the love of my life, my cat and my few friends.
Now that I know his past I'm not surprised he said that is sadistic and say that like to kill. But I'm proud of him, his strength and his endurance. No matter how hard life was, he was always so strong.
I want to erase his painful memories, I want to break his armor of war. Before we make love, I kiss each of his scars, when he began to mock me I created silly and bizarre stories about his scars and he told me that every time he would see himself in the mirror, he would remember my stupid stories and would laugh. His happiness, the only thing I want.
He began to tremble in his dream and I realized he wasn't cold.
"Changmin? Changmin?" he muttered still sleeping.
I hugged him and whispered in his ear "I'm here, kitten, no one will hurt you."
Then he stopped shaking, whispered "I know" and continued sleeping peacefully.
Our cat climbed onto the bed using a fallen pillow as a bridge.
Now I was with my new family. The only thing I need to do from now on is to protect it.
N//A: Going to sleep.
Short chapter! I'm so tired and sleepy u__u
i'm sorry for any mistake.
Also, sorry for the angst.
Author-shi loves you.