I ran away
Today was an interesting Sabbath. I went to a church that my friend invited me to go to only to have them not show up. Later I texted her, and she said, "I ran away." And at first I thought that she was kidding, until I realized that she was serious, and then I spent like most of the day praying for her and hoping that she was alright. She's good now.
But man I officially feel like I am the loneliest person in the whole world. I was going to write earlier and say if any of you are my friends out there, please call me. I just want to talk to another human.
I so feel like Elijah, not that I don't know that there are others out there who believe like I do and want to finish the world, but I feel lonely because I don't have someone another human out there. I wish that God would just put me to sleep and awake me to hear the voice of a beautiful new bride who will be mine for life. Like I was Adam and placed into a deep sleep because Malcolm was not meant to be alone. There is literally only so much that one can do alone.
I went to this sundown thing though, my first Southern activity. I ate four hotdogs, I think three will be my limit because the salt was just too much. But at least I got my free dinner.
I'm almost done with the mission pilot book, and on that note I'm officially mad at the person that I love the most in this world and now life is ten times more lonely. I just don't get my mom sometimes. And right now I don't know whan to get it. I talked to her about being a missionary and everything yesterday and she hung up on me, and so I called her back, and it didn't end to well. Basically I told her that the Lord is the one who gave her everything and that she needs to be at least willing to give it all to the Lord and that she's not even willing to do that. She's lost sight of her childhood dream to be a Missionary Nurse and travel the world with a pastor. And I was upset because she's the one who helped to put this vision into me, and now what? So I told her when I graduate I'm done, I'm through, I'm going to be a missionary and I'm going to be one of those people who will finish the work, and I invited her to do the same and she didn't want to. What makes me mad is that she used to want to, and I wanted to tell her your not my mother, your not the one who raised me, give me my mother back, because my mother was willing to give everything to the Lord, and now that you have everything you wanted you forgot who gave it to you. And then she even said, so why doesn't God talk to your sister, and I was like what I can't even believe that you would say such a thing. I seriously wanted to go off and say thats your fault kind of attituted.
So anyway, now I'm like whatever...
Lord forgive me for my sadness, I know your there, but I want someone I can touch and see through the physical. I know by faith you are there. Lord forgive my actions, and my this be healed by your love. Lord prepare me, and be with my friend.
But man I officially feel like I am the loneliest person in the whole world. I was going to write earlier and say if any of you are my friends out there, please call me. I just want to talk to another human.
I so feel like Elijah, not that I don't know that there are others out there who believe like I do and want to finish the world, but I feel lonely because I don't have someone another human out there. I wish that God would just put me to sleep and awake me to hear the voice of a beautiful new bride who will be mine for life. Like I was Adam and placed into a deep sleep because Malcolm was not meant to be alone. There is literally only so much that one can do alone.
I went to this sundown thing though, my first Southern activity. I ate four hotdogs, I think three will be my limit because the salt was just too much. But at least I got my free dinner.
I'm almost done with the mission pilot book, and on that note I'm officially mad at the person that I love the most in this world and now life is ten times more lonely. I just don't get my mom sometimes. And right now I don't know whan to get it. I talked to her about being a missionary and everything yesterday and she hung up on me, and so I called her back, and it didn't end to well. Basically I told her that the Lord is the one who gave her everything and that she needs to be at least willing to give it all to the Lord and that she's not even willing to do that. She's lost sight of her childhood dream to be a Missionary Nurse and travel the world with a pastor. And I was upset because she's the one who helped to put this vision into me, and now what? So I told her when I graduate I'm done, I'm through, I'm going to be a missionary and I'm going to be one of those people who will finish the work, and I invited her to do the same and she didn't want to. What makes me mad is that she used to want to, and I wanted to tell her your not my mother, your not the one who raised me, give me my mother back, because my mother was willing to give everything to the Lord, and now that you have everything you wanted you forgot who gave it to you. And then she even said, so why doesn't God talk to your sister, and I was like what I can't even believe that you would say such a thing. I seriously wanted to go off and say thats your fault kind of attituted.
So anyway, now I'm like whatever...
Lord forgive me for my sadness, I know your there, but I want someone I can touch and see through the physical. I know by faith you are there. Lord forgive my actions, and my this be healed by your love. Lord prepare me, and be with my friend.