All I want for Holidaymas
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Cory's Office party. It was Eric who spiked the punch with too much Everclear. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cheap vodka.
I thought it was funny when I put Jakob's tighty-whities on my head and danced the Backwards Sally on the desk while singing "Short Dick Man". I didn't mean to break Cory's iPod and don't know why he would accuse me of beastiality.
I don't remember calling Greg's wife a skanky donkey---even though she looked like one with clear eye shadow and mustard yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on DJ's husband's winkie, it was only because I ate too much of that scalloped clams.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford Fiesta through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a whorish guinea pig and have me arrested for necrophelia!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smelly and tasty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this nasty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and freakily yours,
Bo (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 10 bucks!
Create your own letter to Santa: click here
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Cory's Office party. It was Eric who spiked the punch with too much Everclear. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cheap vodka.
I thought it was funny when I put Jakob's tighty-whities on my head and danced the Backwards Sally on the desk while singing "Short Dick Man". I didn't mean to break Cory's iPod and don't know why he would accuse me of beastiality.
I don't remember calling Greg's wife a skanky donkey---even though she looked like one with clear eye shadow and mustard yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on DJ's husband's winkie, it was only because I ate too much of that scalloped clams.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford Fiesta through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a whorish guinea pig and have me arrested for necrophelia!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smelly and tasty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this nasty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and freakily yours,
Bo (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 10 bucks!
Create your own letter to Santa: click here