(no subject)
Well.. I haven't been feeling very content lately and so for a few days I've been focusing my attention on why that is. And I think I've pinpointed what it is that's bothering me. Well, two things actually. The first is that I don't like a few things about myself. I like some things, but definately not all of them. I don't know whether or not to change though, because I don't know if I'm supposed to. I mean.. do those things make me who I am? And, do I even need to change them? or will they fix themselves as I get older? I'm very confused right now.. But I suppose it's all part of "growing up". Although, I vowed yesterday that I will never ever grow up. I refuse. There are certain areas where I have to, but I will never stop appreciating a dance in the rain, a good game of hide and seek or jumping in puddles and so on. I will always pick flowers for my mom while I'm walking home, and I'm going to insist on having freezies in the summer. There is no way I will grow up completely. It's no fun.
The second thing is that I'm not doing anything with myself. I'm not helping anyone, or anything like that. I like to be busy, and to feel accomplished but the only way I can get that now is to clean my room or something like that..I wish I had things that needed to be done so that I could feel important again.. I just feel extremely useless at this stage in my life. That should change come summer, but I still don't want to live with it for the next month.. It's making me miserable.
Other than that, I'm good! Ashton and Cassia brought home another kitten yesterday. We named her Yodi I think...so far anyways, the name might change. She looks a LOT like Yoda..but she's a she! so, obviously, her name couldn't be Yoda. Unfortunately, she has a hurt leg and we're pretty sure she's a little bit sick too.. so until we take her to the vet, she's living in mine and Ashton's room! yay..... I mean, she's cute and everything, but she keeps me up ALL night.. and we have to have the litter box and what not in my room ! and I did NOT agree to that! i came home from work today and it was in there! And I don't want my room smelling like that! On top of that, this kitten is not declawed, and she went after my guitar today!! NOT COOL. I almost threw a fit.. actually, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I did. She's scratching everything she can. And now all the kids are constantly in my room because they want to see the kitten. Kids and kids' friends!! It's getting way out of hand.. I'm only going to put up with it for another dayish. that's it after that. I got to talk to Peter and Trevor tonight.. Two of my friends from camp! Oh how I miss them.. They're going to see if they can come down here before I leave. That's all for now loves.
The second thing is that I'm not doing anything with myself. I'm not helping anyone, or anything like that. I like to be busy, and to feel accomplished but the only way I can get that now is to clean my room or something like that..I wish I had things that needed to be done so that I could feel important again.. I just feel extremely useless at this stage in my life. That should change come summer, but I still don't want to live with it for the next month.. It's making me miserable.
Other than that, I'm good! Ashton and Cassia brought home another kitten yesterday. We named her Yodi I think...so far anyways, the name might change. She looks a LOT like Yoda..but she's a she! so, obviously, her name couldn't be Yoda. Unfortunately, she has a hurt leg and we're pretty sure she's a little bit sick too.. so until we take her to the vet, she's living in mine and Ashton's room! yay..... I mean, she's cute and everything, but she keeps me up ALL night.. and we have to have the litter box and what not in my room ! and I did NOT agree to that! i came home from work today and it was in there! And I don't want my room smelling like that! On top of that, this kitten is not declawed, and she went after my guitar today!! NOT COOL. I almost threw a fit.. actually, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I did. She's scratching everything she can. And now all the kids are constantly in my room because they want to see the kitten. Kids and kids' friends!! It's getting way out of hand.. I'm only going to put up with it for another dayish. that's it after that. I got to talk to Peter and Trevor tonight.. Two of my friends from camp! Oh how I miss them.. They're going to see if they can come down here before I leave. That's all for now loves.