Here (Oneshot)
Title: Here
Length: oneshot
Pairing: GDYB
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, Romance
Summary: One was trying hard to keep himself from breaking, other was oblivious to the other's struggle..
PROMPT: choose a picture and write something about it! =)
Warning: unbetaed!
A/N: here's my second entry to our GDYB Day!
comments/opinions/critics are <333
----------------------------------------------
Jiyong should have seen it coming. The signs were all there. So when he found himself face to face with the problem, he couldn’t help but blame himself for the pain in the other’s eyes.
---
After half a minute, Teddy smiled when the elevator that would bring him to his destination faster reached the floor, but only to be surprised at the sight of a younger family member that he thought he wouldn't be seeing for another week or two believing that he (they, for that matter) was still out, spending wisely his vacation. “Oh. Jiyongie, annyeong. You’re back already? Weren’t you supposed to be with Youngbae?”
Jiyong, with a little smile, waved the sheet that he was holding in his right hand. “Can’t help it. Composing comes first.”
Patting his dongsaeng’s shoulder affectionately, Teddy secretly wondered if it really had been that long since the first time he met the younger ones and it made his heart smile at the thought of Jiyong and Youngbae who, side by side, fought really hard just to debut in the harsh world of entertainment. Who would have thought they’d make it this far?
Thinking about the duo, Teddy’s smile faltered a little. And Jiyong’s sharp eyes didn’t miss it.
“Something’s wrong, hyung?”
Knowing full well that he couldn’t lie to his younger brother, Teddy let out a sigh. With the younger one, he learned through the years that it was always better to take the straight direction. “Is everything about you and Youngbae alright, Jiyongie?”
Jiyong furrowed his brows at the question. “As far as I know, we’re both fine, hyung. What brought that up?”
To others, Teddy’s gaze might appear discomforting, but the innocence on Jiyong’s face and confidence on what he was saying made the older calm. “Oh. Nothing.”
Thinking that maybe he was just analyzing things above necessary, Teddy grinned and pushed Jiyong out of the elevator when it reached the younger’s destination. “Well, see you later Jiyongie. Please tell Youngbae to call me when he decides to go.”
Even with the doors already close, Jiyong still remained in the spot Teddy left him, processing the little information he just received.
Youngbae is leaving? Thinking that maybe there was just a little change of schedule, Jiyong shrugged and continued his journey to the studio to do what he had to do.
-----
Everyone knew that Jiyong was not a morning person, and he believed he never will be, but that morning, he was at his worse, so when Youngbae hugs him from behind and showered his cheeks with kisses, he huffed in annoyance and shrugged the other’s hold. Missing the hurt in Youngbae’s eyes, Jiyong continued to walk to his bedroom and closed the door to his lover’s face. He was tired from the night’s party. He just wanted to get a pill and a glass of water for his hangover then go back to sleep, dammit!
He woke up at three in the afternoon feeling much better and walked out of his bedroom, only to be greeted by the maknae of the group’s unreadable expression from the living room’s couch.
“What?”
Little Seunghyun just shook his head, and stood up, aiming for the apartment’s door. After all, his thoughts didn't matter, right? But before he could go out and leave, he stopped. Turning bravely around to face the older, the younger looked straight to his hyung’s eyes. “If we had known you’d be like this to him, we would have convinced him to love someone else.”. Then he continued in a whisper, but clear enough to be heard, “Please stop before he finally decides that you’re not worth it.”
Little Seunghyun then left him there, dumbfounded, leaning on his bedroom door. He just woke up, what did he possibly do?
----
Preparing for a concert was never easy. Such a little time. Too much work. Too exhausting. And too busy to think of anything else. Maybe that’s why Jiyong barely noticed the constant yawning of two of his bandmates, Big Seunghyun and Daesung to be exact.
“Had a rough night, hyung? Daesungie?” Jiyong teased, knowing full well the activities the two do every time the oldest visit his former room.
Big Seunghyun, turned to look at him, eyes piercing and spoke with venom on his tongue (and Jiyong missed the way Daesung’s grip of the oldest’s hand tightened). “Daesung couldn’t sleep. He thought he was hearing someone else’s sobs next room everynight. So I was there to accompany him.”
Daesung gulped and Jiyong, missing the slight twitch of the oldest’s left eye, laughed, thinking that Daesung was just making an excuse to make the older to come over. “Yeah? You shouldn’t be afraid, Daesungie, you can always call for Youngbae. His room is just a second away from yours.”
Patting the younger’s thigh, Jiyong suddenly turned around after noticing the unusual silence inside the van. “Where are the other two anyway?”
Daesung, afraid that Big Seunghyun would say something inappropriate, answered, “Little Seunghyun is out earlier for the derma.”
Jiyong smiled and took his back pack to get his ipod. “Oh. I forgot about that. And Youngbae?”
Big Seunghyun gritted his teeth. “Shouldn’t you know? He’s your lover after all.”
Jiyong turned to look at him, finally noticing the way his hyung was staring at him. Unafraid, but a bit confused, he asked back, “Hyung, were you implying something?”
Daesung bit his lip and subtly slid his arm at the rapper’s back, rubbing, drawing circles, forcing him to calm a bit. Catching the older’s eyes, silently asking to let him speak, Daesung smiled that angelic smile of his. “Oh. Don’t mind him, Jiyong hyung. He’s just a little sleep-deprived.”. Letting a breathe subtly, trying to calm his throbbing heart, he continued, “Youngbae hyung went out earlier to exercise at the gym. He should be at the practice studio by now.”
Letting the things slide like that (pushing away the nagging knowledge that only if he's upset at something did Youngbae go to let his frustrations out in the gym), Jiyong let out a sigh and proceeded to put the earphones on, letting Youngbae’s voice wash away the sudden unexplainable ache of his heart. He was afraid but he couldn’t understand why.
-------------
“Let’s take a break.”
“What?”
“I believe you heard me the first time, Jiyong”
“I did. But I’m afraid I heard you wrong.”
Youngbae looked away from him and decided that the floor was much more interesting. “This can’t continue, Jiyong. We should take a break and -.”
Jiyong laughed heartily. “What are you saying? You’re kidding, right?”. And when he noticed that he was the only one laughing, Jiyong stopped and he could swear he heard a sudden thump in his chest. “Yo - Youngbae, you’re not serious, right?”
Youngbae remained silent, afraid that if he said a word, his voice would betray him. And Jiyong grew suddenly afraid. He stared at Youngbae, making himself believe that this was just a dream.
“Youngbae - ah.”, he called, voice a little broken, “please talk to me. You - You’re not actually breaking up with me, right?”
Still, Youngbae remained unmoving, eyes set on the white socks he was wearing. The ones that Jiyong bought for him months ago, saying they were specially made for couples like them. Youngbae smiled bitterly at the memory. When had all those times go?
A hand suddenly grabbed the one he was gripping his jeans with. He didn’t even realize they were sweating already.
Thinking it was best to not create any physical contact at the moment, he slowly retracted his hand from the other’s hold, missing the panic in Jiyong’s eyes. The band leader hastily grabbed it again and interlocked their fingers, making sure they wouldn’t let go. Ever.
Youngbae, not wanting to break in front of the other only whispered, “Let’s just break up.” and suddenly realized, breathing was becoming hard for him.
“No. Youngbae - ah, wha - what are you saying?” Jiyong eagerly shook his head, panic in his system. He needed to make this right, he needed to make Youngbae see what he was doing to him. Cause he knew, once Youngbae decided to take a step without him, Jiyong will be left behind, taping back the pieces of his broken heart. So, almost screaming this time, he repeated the question, with more intensity, willing to make his point across. No he wasn’t going to let this happen. “What the fuck are you saying Youngbae?!”
Youngbae faced him, with difficulty, but faced him nonetheless. His eyes were teary but he refused to cry. At least not in front of him. He needed to be a man, once and for all. “Jiyong, this isn’t working. We are not on the same page anymore. You want your space, I want, no - I need your attention. You’re moving forward, I’m still where I started. You want to try everything, but I’m just holding you back. You continue to want something new, I continue to stick to my own. I can’t keep along. I -”
Youngbae was suddenly enveloped in a tight embraced, lips sealed in an aggressive kiss. Wanting, needing. Jiyong’s hands were everywhere, trying to touch everything that he could. Afraid that if he didn’t he would never have a chance anymore.
Youngbae tried to avoid the other’s searching lips and Jiyong’s body tremble a little more. His tears were flowing freely, endlessly, and the pieces of Youngbae’s broken heart sobbed at the sight. The tears that he forced to push back, found their way to his cheeks but he just let them. Besides, men can cry, too, right?
Maybe he wasn’t thinking anymore, but the next thing he knew, his hand was caressing Jiyong’s back, calming him. Ssshh.. It’s alright. I’m here.
Youngbae bit his lip until it it bled cause dammit! He’s so weak and pathetic and fucking loved this man so much it was killing him.
Jiyong's shaking hands suddenly cupped his face and pulled him forward to kiss him lovingly, desperately. “Youngbae - ah, I love you. Don’t leave me please, don’t leave me. You know I’m nothing without you. I will be better. I promise. But I need you to be here to keep me from breaking it. So please. Don’t leave me. I love you.”
Then Youngbae thought, in between Jiyong's rambling andd bruising kisses, that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t really have to walk away to make things right. If they were really the same, they wouldn’t be where they were. He knew, they could work this out. Together, like they always did.
“Sshh… I’m sorry.” He said and kissed the other’s forehead, tenderly, lovingly. “Hush now. I won’t leave. Ever.”
Jiyong looked at him, eyes wet from tears, pleading. “I love you so much, Youngbae - ah.”
Youngbae nods, finally understanding the pain he could inflict to the other and promised himself not to break the younger again. “And I love you more.”
---------------------------
HAPPY GDYB DAY!! :D
Length: oneshot
Pairing: GDYB
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, Romance
Summary: One was trying hard to keep himself from breaking, other was oblivious to the other's struggle..
PROMPT: choose a picture and write something about it! =)
Warning: unbetaed!
A/N: here's my second entry to our GDYB Day!
comments/opinions/critics are <333
----------------------------------------------
Jiyong should have seen it coming. The signs were all there. So when he found himself face to face with the problem, he couldn’t help but blame himself for the pain in the other’s eyes.
---
After half a minute, Teddy smiled when the elevator that would bring him to his destination faster reached the floor, but only to be surprised at the sight of a younger family member that he thought he wouldn't be seeing for another week or two believing that he (they, for that matter) was still out, spending wisely his vacation. “Oh. Jiyongie, annyeong. You’re back already? Weren’t you supposed to be with Youngbae?”
Jiyong, with a little smile, waved the sheet that he was holding in his right hand. “Can’t help it. Composing comes first.”
Patting his dongsaeng’s shoulder affectionately, Teddy secretly wondered if it really had been that long since the first time he met the younger ones and it made his heart smile at the thought of Jiyong and Youngbae who, side by side, fought really hard just to debut in the harsh world of entertainment. Who would have thought they’d make it this far?
Thinking about the duo, Teddy’s smile faltered a little. And Jiyong’s sharp eyes didn’t miss it.
“Something’s wrong, hyung?”
Knowing full well that he couldn’t lie to his younger brother, Teddy let out a sigh. With the younger one, he learned through the years that it was always better to take the straight direction. “Is everything about you and Youngbae alright, Jiyongie?”
Jiyong furrowed his brows at the question. “As far as I know, we’re both fine, hyung. What brought that up?”
To others, Teddy’s gaze might appear discomforting, but the innocence on Jiyong’s face and confidence on what he was saying made the older calm. “Oh. Nothing.”
Thinking that maybe he was just analyzing things above necessary, Teddy grinned and pushed Jiyong out of the elevator when it reached the younger’s destination. “Well, see you later Jiyongie. Please tell Youngbae to call me when he decides to go.”
Even with the doors already close, Jiyong still remained in the spot Teddy left him, processing the little information he just received.
Youngbae is leaving? Thinking that maybe there was just a little change of schedule, Jiyong shrugged and continued his journey to the studio to do what he had to do.
-----
Everyone knew that Jiyong was not a morning person, and he believed he never will be, but that morning, he was at his worse, so when Youngbae hugs him from behind and showered his cheeks with kisses, he huffed in annoyance and shrugged the other’s hold. Missing the hurt in Youngbae’s eyes, Jiyong continued to walk to his bedroom and closed the door to his lover’s face. He was tired from the night’s party. He just wanted to get a pill and a glass of water for his hangover then go back to sleep, dammit!
He woke up at three in the afternoon feeling much better and walked out of his bedroom, only to be greeted by the maknae of the group’s unreadable expression from the living room’s couch.
“What?”
Little Seunghyun just shook his head, and stood up, aiming for the apartment’s door. After all, his thoughts didn't matter, right? But before he could go out and leave, he stopped. Turning bravely around to face the older, the younger looked straight to his hyung’s eyes. “If we had known you’d be like this to him, we would have convinced him to love someone else.”. Then he continued in a whisper, but clear enough to be heard, “Please stop before he finally decides that you’re not worth it.”
Little Seunghyun then left him there, dumbfounded, leaning on his bedroom door. He just woke up, what did he possibly do?
----
Preparing for a concert was never easy. Such a little time. Too much work. Too exhausting. And too busy to think of anything else. Maybe that’s why Jiyong barely noticed the constant yawning of two of his bandmates, Big Seunghyun and Daesung to be exact.
“Had a rough night, hyung? Daesungie?” Jiyong teased, knowing full well the activities the two do every time the oldest visit his former room.
Big Seunghyun, turned to look at him, eyes piercing and spoke with venom on his tongue (and Jiyong missed the way Daesung’s grip of the oldest’s hand tightened). “Daesung couldn’t sleep. He thought he was hearing someone else’s sobs next room everynight. So I was there to accompany him.”
Daesung gulped and Jiyong, missing the slight twitch of the oldest’s left eye, laughed, thinking that Daesung was just making an excuse to make the older to come over. “Yeah? You shouldn’t be afraid, Daesungie, you can always call for Youngbae. His room is just a second away from yours.”
Patting the younger’s thigh, Jiyong suddenly turned around after noticing the unusual silence inside the van. “Where are the other two anyway?”
Daesung, afraid that Big Seunghyun would say something inappropriate, answered, “Little Seunghyun is out earlier for the derma.”
Jiyong smiled and took his back pack to get his ipod. “Oh. I forgot about that. And Youngbae?”
Big Seunghyun gritted his teeth. “Shouldn’t you know? He’s your lover after all.”
Jiyong turned to look at him, finally noticing the way his hyung was staring at him. Unafraid, but a bit confused, he asked back, “Hyung, were you implying something?”
Daesung bit his lip and subtly slid his arm at the rapper’s back, rubbing, drawing circles, forcing him to calm a bit. Catching the older’s eyes, silently asking to let him speak, Daesung smiled that angelic smile of his. “Oh. Don’t mind him, Jiyong hyung. He’s just a little sleep-deprived.”. Letting a breathe subtly, trying to calm his throbbing heart, he continued, “Youngbae hyung went out earlier to exercise at the gym. He should be at the practice studio by now.”
Letting the things slide like that (pushing away the nagging knowledge that only if he's upset at something did Youngbae go to let his frustrations out in the gym), Jiyong let out a sigh and proceeded to put the earphones on, letting Youngbae’s voice wash away the sudden unexplainable ache of his heart. He was afraid but he couldn’t understand why.
-------------
“Let’s take a break.”
“What?”
“I believe you heard me the first time, Jiyong”
“I did. But I’m afraid I heard you wrong.”
Youngbae looked away from him and decided that the floor was much more interesting. “This can’t continue, Jiyong. We should take a break and -.”
Jiyong laughed heartily. “What are you saying? You’re kidding, right?”. And when he noticed that he was the only one laughing, Jiyong stopped and he could swear he heard a sudden thump in his chest. “Yo - Youngbae, you’re not serious, right?”
Youngbae remained silent, afraid that if he said a word, his voice would betray him. And Jiyong grew suddenly afraid. He stared at Youngbae, making himself believe that this was just a dream.
“Youngbae - ah.”, he called, voice a little broken, “please talk to me. You - You’re not actually breaking up with me, right?”
Still, Youngbae remained unmoving, eyes set on the white socks he was wearing. The ones that Jiyong bought for him months ago, saying they were specially made for couples like them. Youngbae smiled bitterly at the memory. When had all those times go?
A hand suddenly grabbed the one he was gripping his jeans with. He didn’t even realize they were sweating already.
Thinking it was best to not create any physical contact at the moment, he slowly retracted his hand from the other’s hold, missing the panic in Jiyong’s eyes. The band leader hastily grabbed it again and interlocked their fingers, making sure they wouldn’t let go. Ever.
Youngbae, not wanting to break in front of the other only whispered, “Let’s just break up.” and suddenly realized, breathing was becoming hard for him.
“No. Youngbae - ah, wha - what are you saying?” Jiyong eagerly shook his head, panic in his system. He needed to make this right, he needed to make Youngbae see what he was doing to him. Cause he knew, once Youngbae decided to take a step without him, Jiyong will be left behind, taping back the pieces of his broken heart. So, almost screaming this time, he repeated the question, with more intensity, willing to make his point across. No he wasn’t going to let this happen. “What the fuck are you saying Youngbae?!”
Youngbae faced him, with difficulty, but faced him nonetheless. His eyes were teary but he refused to cry. At least not in front of him. He needed to be a man, once and for all. “Jiyong, this isn’t working. We are not on the same page anymore. You want your space, I want, no - I need your attention. You’re moving forward, I’m still where I started. You want to try everything, but I’m just holding you back. You continue to want something new, I continue to stick to my own. I can’t keep along. I -”
Youngbae was suddenly enveloped in a tight embraced, lips sealed in an aggressive kiss. Wanting, needing. Jiyong’s hands were everywhere, trying to touch everything that he could. Afraid that if he didn’t he would never have a chance anymore.
Youngbae tried to avoid the other’s searching lips and Jiyong’s body tremble a little more. His tears were flowing freely, endlessly, and the pieces of Youngbae’s broken heart sobbed at the sight. The tears that he forced to push back, found their way to his cheeks but he just let them. Besides, men can cry, too, right?
Maybe he wasn’t thinking anymore, but the next thing he knew, his hand was caressing Jiyong’s back, calming him. Ssshh.. It’s alright. I’m here.
Youngbae bit his lip until it it bled cause dammit! He’s so weak and pathetic and fucking loved this man so much it was killing him.
Jiyong's shaking hands suddenly cupped his face and pulled him forward to kiss him lovingly, desperately. “Youngbae - ah, I love you. Don’t leave me please, don’t leave me. You know I’m nothing without you. I will be better. I promise. But I need you to be here to keep me from breaking it. So please. Don’t leave me. I love you.”
Then Youngbae thought, in between Jiyong's rambling andd bruising kisses, that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t really have to walk away to make things right. If they were really the same, they wouldn’t be where they were. He knew, they could work this out. Together, like they always did.
“Sshh… I’m sorry.” He said and kissed the other’s forehead, tenderly, lovingly. “Hush now. I won’t leave. Ever.”
Jiyong looked at him, eyes wet from tears, pleading. “I love you so much, Youngbae - ah.”
Youngbae nods, finally understanding the pain he could inflict to the other and promised himself not to break the younger again. “And I love you more.”
---------------------------
HAPPY GDYB DAY!! :D