This is my December.
Or my January..however you like it.
Well today in school it really wasn't that bad. The people who schedule breaks are really dumb since this week teachers really can't start anything new since we have finals next week..Hooray for us though I guess.
I went shopping with Abby after school and had me a fun time.
We went to Best Buy...however, what I was looking to buy wasn't exactly working at the time..lol
"Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed..."
As I write this..I'm beginning to lose hope in ever seeing him again..and maybe that is Ok. Maybe one day, I will bump into him or whatever, but I can't keep pushing this..otherwise..it won't be real.
"When one door in our life closes, another opens but so long we look at the closed door, we fail to see the open one in front of us."
Moving on? Perhaps.
I might change my mind tomorrow, but I'm a woman, so I guess that is my perogative..(sp?)
Did you ever just sit and wonder where your life was headed? Why everything seemed to lose its color and everything seems like pretend? Why you can't feel something real, feel something amazing? I wonder why I'm sitting here every night thinking about someone who has forgotten about me. I wonder why He hasn't shown up. And by He, I don't mean God..I mean..that Guy..that perfect guy who makes me feel like the world has stopped and it's only he and I. Maybe I'm forgetting that there are soo many other opportunites in life and I can't always imagine what they could be like..I need to go out there and forget about him. I miss him, I will admit that. I miss him with an ache in my heart I haven't felt in 3 years. But I also know that my futile attempt in finding him would have probably resulted in my having feelings for him..and him pushing me away. Remember that resolution? I think I'll keep it after all. I'll always wonder, since everything was left soo unfinished. I should have stayed up for a sunrise over break..somehow that would have given me strength. Instead I will retrieve strength from my past, from what I've gone through and overcome. I know he's out there..somewhere out there (yes I'm listening to OLP). Who he is, I don't know. And where he is, I don't know..But I do know I will wake up every day, and I will one day, on a chance meeting, find my next love...I say next because I realize now Steve wasn't someone I "could have" fallen in love with, I did love him. I gotta stop looking...
...and start living.
New occupation: Inspiration speaker.
Damn I am good.
Well today in school it really wasn't that bad. The people who schedule breaks are really dumb since this week teachers really can't start anything new since we have finals next week..Hooray for us though I guess.
I went shopping with Abby after school and had me a fun time.
We went to Best Buy...however, what I was looking to buy wasn't exactly working at the time..lol
"Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed..."
As I write this..I'm beginning to lose hope in ever seeing him again..and maybe that is Ok. Maybe one day, I will bump into him or whatever, but I can't keep pushing this..otherwise..it won't be real.
"When one door in our life closes, another opens but so long we look at the closed door, we fail to see the open one in front of us."
Moving on? Perhaps.
I might change my mind tomorrow, but I'm a woman, so I guess that is my perogative..(sp?)
Did you ever just sit and wonder where your life was headed? Why everything seemed to lose its color and everything seems like pretend? Why you can't feel something real, feel something amazing? I wonder why I'm sitting here every night thinking about someone who has forgotten about me. I wonder why He hasn't shown up. And by He, I don't mean God..I mean..that Guy..that perfect guy who makes me feel like the world has stopped and it's only he and I. Maybe I'm forgetting that there are soo many other opportunites in life and I can't always imagine what they could be like..I need to go out there and forget about him. I miss him, I will admit that. I miss him with an ache in my heart I haven't felt in 3 years. But I also know that my futile attempt in finding him would have probably resulted in my having feelings for him..and him pushing me away. Remember that resolution? I think I'll keep it after all. I'll always wonder, since everything was left soo unfinished. I should have stayed up for a sunrise over break..somehow that would have given me strength. Instead I will retrieve strength from my past, from what I've gone through and overcome. I know he's out there..somewhere out there (yes I'm listening to OLP). Who he is, I don't know. And where he is, I don't know..But I do know I will wake up every day, and I will one day, on a chance meeting, find my next love...I say next because I realize now Steve wasn't someone I "could have" fallen in love with, I did love him. I gotta stop looking...
...and start living.
New occupation: Inspiration speaker.
Damn I am good.