(no subject)
woah, i rarely ever get on here anymore. lately i dont spend more than five or ten minutes on the computer.
life hasnt been so bad. just rnadom everyday stresses freak me out a little too much. my mom is moving in a few weeks...ive been living with dustin, so im not exactly sure where that leaves me when she leaves. every tme the though creeps into my head i immediatly try to think of something else because i dont have an answer and that makes me totally uneasy.
i got a job yesterday. assuming i pass the drug test. fingers crossed. i went and applied and even before i got there i just started freaking out. by the time i went hme i was sweaty and shaking and really just thought i was going to be sick. i could have really used a xanax or something. i can only imagine how its going to be when i start working. dear god. i cant keep freaking out all the time.....its just so easy.
i slept like shit last night, and couldnt even slep late. i have tried so many times to go back to bed it isnt even funny. i hate this. the past few nights i slept pretty well but i was fucked up. even being drunk doesnt get me more than 4 or 5 hours. its so annoying. why cant i sleep like normal people? than again how does a normal person even sleep?
in general everything has been going pretty well. im actually doing quite well in school, i finally got a job, me and the boy are happy, the weather is finally good again. but i cant shake this feeling somewhere in the back of my head. its pretty annoying. im happy. but...im not happy. i mean, i have every reason to be happy, but i just feel so sour sometimes. im stting here yawning like crazy but i know as soon as i go lay down ill be wide awake. ugh.
life hasnt been so bad. just rnadom everyday stresses freak me out a little too much. my mom is moving in a few weeks...ive been living with dustin, so im not exactly sure where that leaves me when she leaves. every tme the though creeps into my head i immediatly try to think of something else because i dont have an answer and that makes me totally uneasy.
i got a job yesterday. assuming i pass the drug test. fingers crossed. i went and applied and even before i got there i just started freaking out. by the time i went hme i was sweaty and shaking and really just thought i was going to be sick. i could have really used a xanax or something. i can only imagine how its going to be when i start working. dear god. i cant keep freaking out all the time.....its just so easy.
i slept like shit last night, and couldnt even slep late. i have tried so many times to go back to bed it isnt even funny. i hate this. the past few nights i slept pretty well but i was fucked up. even being drunk doesnt get me more than 4 or 5 hours. its so annoying. why cant i sleep like normal people? than again how does a normal person even sleep?
in general everything has been going pretty well. im actually doing quite well in school, i finally got a job, me and the boy are happy, the weather is finally good again. but i cant shake this feeling somewhere in the back of my head. its pretty annoying. im happy. but...im not happy. i mean, i have every reason to be happy, but i just feel so sour sometimes. im stting here yawning like crazy but i know as soon as i go lay down ill be wide awake. ugh.