(no subject)
She took me to see her apartment this morning. She wore her halloween costume, a giant eeyore costume that was the ultimate embarrasment. It was funny at school but it just got me when she didn't take it off in time to see the landlord and sign the lease and such. The apartment's fine. Fine is the only world to describe it. The apartment itself is actually pretty nice, the building and yard are okay, a little run down. They chose this place cause it's so close, and i guess they got lucky that it was at least this nice. I walked around the whole time while the landlord and her talked about little agreements and details of the walls. It's empty now. I left not feeling good about it. I was almost excited this morning to go see it, but now i just don't know. I came to school and snuck into the forum, which was pitch black, and tried to find somebody, but i spent the whole festival normally, also angry and feeling blocked off from everybody. The problem is that i hate when people ignore it, and when people bring it up, i think they're just doing it to be nice and why would they really care? Everybody i need, i feel so distant from. I'm so happy i'm seeing Clare TOMORROW MORNING. that's so soon!!! I ABSOLUTLY HAVE TO SEE HER.
i won't even go into how i feel about this apartment. tomorrow night for the first time in 18 years my parents won't be living together and as much as i know how upsetting this is for mom too, i have a very hard time wanting to be there for her. if tonight's plans don't work out - which they probably won't - then i think i'm going to go over to the empty apartment and just BE. I'll come home on Sunday night and she'll be moved in. I'll go to school Monday and everybody will be normal and i'll deny that anything's wrong and i'll spin around and smile and laugh and worry about stupid things. then i'll come home. But which home? it'll be my choice. so i'll go to either a huge house with all of my stuff, or the apartment in the brick building where my MOM is, with no clothes or anything. I just. I don't know. Iasalksjdla
there is nothing more annoying than when you're on the break of screaming, your CD starts to skip
i won't even go into how i feel about this apartment. tomorrow night for the first time in 18 years my parents won't be living together and as much as i know how upsetting this is for mom too, i have a very hard time wanting to be there for her. if tonight's plans don't work out - which they probably won't - then i think i'm going to go over to the empty apartment and just BE. I'll come home on Sunday night and she'll be moved in. I'll go to school Monday and everybody will be normal and i'll deny that anything's wrong and i'll spin around and smile and laugh and worry about stupid things. then i'll come home. But which home? it'll be my choice. so i'll go to either a huge house with all of my stuff, or the apartment in the brick building where my MOM is, with no clothes or anything. I just. I don't know. Iasalksjdla
there is nothing more annoying than when you're on the break of screaming, your CD starts to skip