lonely im so lonely....
Ok so the summer right before college is supoosed to be the best time of your life right... wrong... I seem to be losing touch with everything and everyone. I no longer have the security of just going to school and knowing that i have friends there, even if we didnt hang out on the weekends, they were still my friends. I dont have that security and it scares me. I have talked to my roommate in college already right before i left and she is really nice. I just hope we can get along. One of my other suite mates called me though and she seemed nice too. I think it will be an ok year. I want it to all just be over with. Ya know the whole having to meet new people and learn to live with others you dont really know. And on top of that im scared i will lose my other friends. the ones who truly mean something to me. I already feel that way at work.. I know most of it is my fault but what can you do ya know. I guess the second i see that someone is trying to push me away a lil bit i run in the other direction just because i dont want to deal with it. I hope that when i get home i can patch up everything that i fucked up. who knows maybe it is too far beyond repair. I hope not. I dont want to lose my good friends. It was weird though for a while we were all really close and then i went to florida and when i came back i felt like i had been pushed out of the circle. Well there is nothing i can do, it is uncontrollable. I just hope that i can start school in the way i want to and not start off being miserable. I cant wait for school and work to once again consume my life. I like it that way. Well im in canada right now and i will be back on the 27th. If you care to reach me send an email to xorache13xo@aol.com i have been checking my email at the internet cafe..