No matter how much Castiel would have been content to avoid her, Anna couldn't leave well enough alone. She was always testing her limits with her brother, trying to figure him out and piece together where she fit into his new life, and until she found the answers that she wanted she was perfectly content to bother every version of Castiel that showed up in the wood.
This particular Castiel didn't remember his time previously spent in the barracks, and that bothered her. She felt as if they had made progress when she first arrived, and now they were back to square one, and that left her feeling apprehensive about just popping in on him. Luckily for her, the opportunity to track him down was made a little more difficult by his bouncing around the barracks, but after a few failed attempts she managed to catch him. Now that she knew the area like the back of her hand, it was easy to teleport wherever she felt like.
She appeared directly before him, emotion on her face unreadable.
"Hello, Castiel. I was wondering when I would get to see you again."
There was a moment where Castiel just looked at her. It's one thing to speak with her over the communication device, but it's another when she's right in front of him, and he wasn't entirely sure what to say. Eventually, however, he managed to pull himself together, and nodded.
She stood silently for quite some time, trying to read into his reaction and judge how their conversation would go based upon that. He wasn't attempting to kill her, at least, so that was a good start.
"Have you been safe since you've been here?"
Despite everything, his safety was a concern of hers. She'd never want to watch him be harmed, even if she felt he still had a few good lessons to learn. But with him here, she could be the one to teach him those things, to get him to understand her point of view.
"It takes some time, but you eventually gain your bearings."
"Yes. I've been spending time with Ruby, and she has been filling me in on what she knows."
That didn't make them friends, mind you. Ruby was just a convenient source of information who happened to be a demon. Also, Castiel wasn't very interested in Anna's lessons. He's come a long way from when she knew him last, and while he doesn't hate her for what she did, he's not sure whatever she intended to tell him would help.
"Hopefully we will all be able to find a way out of here soon."
"You already did once before. Maybe you will again." She was slightly unnerved by the fact he was so casual about spending time with Ruby, and that he was getting actual information from the demon.
"Are you sure you can trust Ruby? She's been feeding Sam her blood, last I checked, and I don't think she's necessarily out to help anyone that sides with Dean."
"Here, Ruby is hardly a threat," he said simply, and it's the truth. The only time she was dangerous back home was when she was manipulating Sam, and here, there was no seal to break, no Lucifer to release. She was stranded just like they were, and she was quite knowledgeable for a demon. "Any choice she makes here will not change the events in my timeline. Therefore, there is no point in ... antagonizing her."
There was another pause, before he swallowed hard and averted his eyes elsewhere. "And this is the last place that you would want Sam to go into ... withdrawal. The blood will not kill him. Until there is a safe area that we can be sure will not be affected by the fae, it's safer to just leave things as they are."
That part of the statement showed clear unhappiness, because he knows what the blood does to Sam. He doesn't want to leave his friend an addict, but he didn't see how they had much of a choice at the moment. Besides, at least this Sam's soul wasn't trapped in the cage with Lucifer.
"It doesn't matter if she's a threat here, if she's harming Sam or Dean back home." She paused at that last word, the use of it causing her eyes to go wide as she realized her mistake. Wherever Sam and Dean were couldn't be her home, not since she took her Grace back. She wasn't human any longer, no matter what she liked to pretend.
"You've changed." She decided quickly, frowning at the realization that Castiel had become very much like the rest of their family.
It was a disappointment, to say the least. But at least he seemed to be making choices on his own now, deciding what was or wasn't safe for himself. That was a slight improvement.
"She dies, Anna." It's a simple statement that will hopefully get her off the topic of Ruby, and it is the truth. "Dean will kill her not too far in your future, my past. I think the more relevant issue is what she's doing here and whether or not she's hurting them that way."
And yes, he had changed. He was forced to by his circumstances. And no, he wasn't like the rest of the family, but he wasn't going to bother to clarify that.
"And so do I. I'm noticing that's a common trend for anyone that isn't a Winchester." She frowned, and looked away from him. He wasn't ready to talk to her like this, not yet. She could sense his unease rolling off of him in waves.
But then he surprised her by being a little smart with her, and that caused her to take pause and crack a lopsided grin.
"You have nothing but time here, Castiel. I hope you learn to enjoy it."
Castiel decided not to mention the fact that he's died twice. It will just make people's heads hurt.
"So I keep being told." He didn't want to learn to enjoy free time quite yet. He wasn't ready for it. He was still too busy being caught up in the future that Anna didn't know about yet.
A future he wasn't sure he wanted to tell her about.
"Don't sound so bitter about it." The corner of her mouth twitched back downward, despite her amused tone of voice. His newfound sarcasm was entertaining, at least, even if it was also bothersome because she was trying to have a serious conversation with him.
But given that he didn't seem to even want to be around her, that was difficult to do. It was hurtful, to say the least, but she made an attempt to not let that show.
"It's not all that bad here, all things considered. We have more freedom here than we ever did back home." She paused, head lulling off to the side just a bit. Home was a relative term with them, wasn't it? It was supposed to be wherever the heart was, but in the case of angels (even the fallen ones) it was wherever their loyalties lied.
"It's hardly freedom if we can't choose to leave."
That sentence contained a great deal less sarcasm and more simple fact. He didn't mean to sound bitter. In a way, he was, but Castiel tended to keep those things to himself. It was easier that way.
"I can't abandon home that easily, Anna. I have responsibilities there." Responsibilities beyond everything she knew, everything he could tell her. Gabriel had told him to leave her role in the Apocalypse out of whatever he told her, and that was one stipulation that he actually agreed on.
"What we have back there isn't freedom either." She insisted, her voice more gentle and resigned now. Maybe for him, with however things had developed, he had gotten more freedom than either of them ever had before. But when she left, she was being hunted, and she much preferred a life like this to one being constantly in danger and on the run.
"I can form actual friendships here, Castiel. Relationships with people. I can be almost human again. Almost like I never had to take my Grace back. I...I like it here."
She admitted softly, almost ashamed to do so. She didn't want to have said that out loud, but it was the truth, and she wasn't about to lie to him.
"I missed you, you know. I had thought that we would get a second chance here, but I'm not all that sure it's the case with you this time around."
His face softened a bit. "I am not saying you shouldn't like it here. You were never content in Heaven, and I do not begrudge you that." He had gotten over her leaving long ago. He needed her to know that that part of their relationship he had put behind him.
"A second chance, however, is not that simple. I ... " He stopped. He was treading in dangerous territory and he knew it. But he needed her to understand that the problem isn't her. It's him. "I betrayed you. To Zachariah."
The last time she had spoken to Castiel before this, he hadn't mentioned that he betrayed her trust. She had a suspicion that he would do so when she met up with him after he released Sam, but this was the first actual confirmation that her suspicions had been right. It hurt to hear him admit it, but she simply nodded at him, and tried to control the fact that she was staring at him with wide eyes.
"You did what you had to. What you were programmed to do." Because that was what happened to angels who didn't follow orders. They were reprogrammed and let loose into the world.
"I know I'm not anything to you, when compared to following orders."
He didn't deny that he was following orders when he turned her in, but that was over two years ago. He was fighting his own rebellion now, and while he wasn't sure if he would have been able to count on Anna to fight on the same side with him, he was sure that it was something he'd be able to support.
"It's been ... a long way. I have grown a great deal."
This particular Castiel didn't remember his time previously spent in the barracks, and that bothered her. She felt as if they had made progress when she first arrived, and now they were back to square one, and that left her feeling apprehensive about just popping in on him. Luckily for her, the opportunity to track him down was made a little more difficult by his bouncing around the barracks, but after a few failed attempts she managed to catch him. Now that she knew the area like the back of her hand, it was easy to teleport wherever she felt like.
She appeared directly before him, emotion on her face unreadable.
"Hello, Castiel. I was wondering when I would get to see you again."
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"Hello, Anna."
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"Have you been safe since you've been here?"
Despite everything, his safety was a concern of hers. She'd never want to watch him be harmed, even if she felt he still had a few good lessons to learn. But with him here, she could be the one to teach him those things, to get him to understand her point of view.
"It takes some time, but you eventually gain your bearings."
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That didn't make them friends, mind you. Ruby was just a convenient source of information who happened to be a demon. Also, Castiel wasn't very interested in Anna's lessons. He's come a long way from when she knew him last, and while he doesn't hate her for what she did, he's not sure whatever she intended to tell him would help.
"Hopefully we will all be able to find a way out of here soon."
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"Are you sure you can trust Ruby? She's been feeding Sam her blood, last I checked, and I don't think she's necessarily out to help anyone that sides with Dean."
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There was another pause, before he swallowed hard and averted his eyes elsewhere. "And this is the last place that you would want Sam to go into ... withdrawal. The blood will not kill him. Until there is a safe area that we can be sure will not be affected by the fae, it's safer to just leave things as they are."
That part of the statement showed clear unhappiness, because he knows what the blood does to Sam. He doesn't want to leave his friend an addict, but he didn't see how they had much of a choice at the moment. Besides, at least this Sam's soul wasn't trapped in the cage with Lucifer.
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"You've changed." She decided quickly, frowning at the realization that Castiel had become very much like the rest of their family.
It was a disappointment, to say the least. But at least he seemed to be making choices on his own now, deciding what was or wasn't safe for himself. That was a slight improvement.
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And yes, he had changed. He was forced to by his circumstances. And no, he wasn't like the rest of the family, but he wasn't going to bother to clarify that.
"Yes. Time does that to everyone."
No, instead he was going to be a smartass.
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But then he surprised her by being a little smart with her, and that caused her to take pause and crack a lopsided grin.
"You have nothing but time here, Castiel. I hope you learn to enjoy it."
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"So I keep being told." He didn't want to learn to enjoy free time quite yet. He wasn't ready for it. He was still too busy being caught up in the future that Anna didn't know about yet.
A future he wasn't sure he wanted to tell her about.
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But given that he didn't seem to even want to be around her, that was difficult to do. It was hurtful, to say the least, but she made an attempt to not let that show.
"It's not all that bad here, all things considered. We have more freedom here than we ever did back home." She paused, head lulling off to the side just a bit. Home was a relative term with them, wasn't it? It was supposed to be wherever the heart was, but in the case of angels (even the fallen ones) it was wherever their loyalties lied.
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That sentence contained a great deal less sarcasm and more simple fact. He didn't mean to sound bitter. In a way, he was, but Castiel tended to keep those things to himself. It was easier that way.
"I can't abandon home that easily, Anna. I have responsibilities there." Responsibilities beyond everything she knew, everything he could tell her. Gabriel had told him to leave her role in the Apocalypse out of whatever he told her, and that was one stipulation that he actually agreed on.
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"I can form actual friendships here, Castiel. Relationships with people. I can be almost human again. Almost like I never had to take my Grace back. I...I like it here."
She admitted softly, almost ashamed to do so. She didn't want to have said that out loud, but it was the truth, and she wasn't about to lie to him.
"I missed you, you know. I had thought that we would get a second chance here, but I'm not all that sure it's the case with you this time around."
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"A second chance, however, is not that simple. I ... " He stopped. He was treading in dangerous territory and he knew it. But he needed her to understand that the problem isn't her. It's him. "I betrayed you. To Zachariah."
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"You did what you had to. What you were programmed to do." Because that was what happened to angels who didn't follow orders. They were reprogrammed and let loose into the world.
"I know I'm not anything to you, when compared to following orders."
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He didn't deny that he was following orders when he turned her in, but that was over two years ago. He was fighting his own rebellion now, and while he wasn't sure if he would have been able to count on Anna to fight on the same side with him, he was sure that it was something he'd be able to support.
"It's been ... a long way. I have grown a great deal."
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