life is strange, people are stranger.
Things have been so odd the past week or so.
I've gotten over the whole incident. Some of us are friends again, but its not the same. I'm on the outside looking in.
"im looking through you, where did you go?"
Some of us will never be friends again.
She texts me to ask to explain, but its too far gone,
I feel like it'd just be a stupid exercise in futility.
I don't want to hear her defense,
I don't want to hear mine.
Some of them are graduating, so its a non-issue.
Some of us, we are civil. We go to parties together, we say hi in the hallways and crossing the green, and I sit with them during lunch on the couches.
But things will never be the SAME. They cant be!
I will never be one of them, and I think its okay,
aside from the times I wonder how next year will be,
and the two years after that,
when our room is decorated exactly how we always planned but
it will always remind me of this.
Only Cristina has acknowledged this incident to me. At least one person has balls.
She didn't even mention the bag on her doorstep.
Tell me I'm a liar. Tell me this is my fault.
I've realized no one is to blame.
In a way I'm glad all this happened. I learned a lot. Now its time for so many people to say, "i told you so" because I finally figured out the things I've been told all along. But sometimes, you have to learn it for yourself.
So now she still calls me her twin, and when I'm in the coffee shop, she brings me a free mocha, and we are still living together next year, and she still drives me to the Rho Lamb house, and we still write on each others walls, but it is not a sisterhood.
I think I'm at peace with that.
I have a boy in my life now. Way to go, Mer, two weeks before school is out.
Well, one and a half.
I need to finish my english paper, study for french, write my religion paper, due my religion presentation, do my psych project, etc.
Two weeks till we leave for colorado.
The boxes are starting to appear in my dorm. I'm not ready to tear down the collages,
but on Monday, I will sell half my books back, and start packing up my belongings,
and on Tuesday, I will finish packing my clothes,
and on Wednesday, I will load the van up,
and on Thursday, I will take my last final and roll out of here at five pm,
and on Monday, I will see Dr. Wigg, and transfer my prescriptions,
and on Tuesday, at five am, we will be on the road.
Everything was clouded with death today.
In English, I jumped up and ran for my room, to eat my ativan, and waited for the tears to subside.
I will be okay.
We will all be okay.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself!
I've gotten over the whole incident. Some of us are friends again, but its not the same. I'm on the outside looking in.
"im looking through you, where did you go?"
Some of us will never be friends again.
She texts me to ask to explain, but its too far gone,
I feel like it'd just be a stupid exercise in futility.
I don't want to hear her defense,
I don't want to hear mine.
Some of them are graduating, so its a non-issue.
Some of us, we are civil. We go to parties together, we say hi in the hallways and crossing the green, and I sit with them during lunch on the couches.
But things will never be the SAME. They cant be!
I will never be one of them, and I think its okay,
aside from the times I wonder how next year will be,
and the two years after that,
when our room is decorated exactly how we always planned but
it will always remind me of this.
Only Cristina has acknowledged this incident to me. At least one person has balls.
She didn't even mention the bag on her doorstep.
Tell me I'm a liar. Tell me this is my fault.
I've realized no one is to blame.
In a way I'm glad all this happened. I learned a lot. Now its time for so many people to say, "i told you so" because I finally figured out the things I've been told all along. But sometimes, you have to learn it for yourself.
So now she still calls me her twin, and when I'm in the coffee shop, she brings me a free mocha, and we are still living together next year, and she still drives me to the Rho Lamb house, and we still write on each others walls, but it is not a sisterhood.
I think I'm at peace with that.
I have a boy in my life now. Way to go, Mer, two weeks before school is out.
Well, one and a half.
I need to finish my english paper, study for french, write my religion paper, due my religion presentation, do my psych project, etc.
Two weeks till we leave for colorado.
The boxes are starting to appear in my dorm. I'm not ready to tear down the collages,
but on Monday, I will sell half my books back, and start packing up my belongings,
and on Tuesday, I will finish packing my clothes,
and on Wednesday, I will load the van up,
and on Thursday, I will take my last final and roll out of here at five pm,
and on Monday, I will see Dr. Wigg, and transfer my prescriptions,
and on Tuesday, at five am, we will be on the road.
Everything was clouded with death today.
In English, I jumped up and ran for my room, to eat my ativan, and waited for the tears to subside.
I will be okay.
We will all be okay.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself!