(no subject)
I've been tossing and turning since I went to bed a few hours ago and now I can't sleep at all. I remembered that I had taken a video of my dad when I first saw him after I got back from Toronto. At the time, he was awake and sitting in his room listening to music with a book in his lap. He was no longer able to hold the book or read but I think it was a comfort for him to have it there. In the video the music on the radio drowned out my dad's quiet voice but I had repeated his words a few times. It was taken 10 days before he died, the second - last time I saw him.
Today we are taking the girls to an annual community event-Santa Day. A free movie and a chance for Santa pictures. I wonder if Julia will go see Santa this year-she still believes. And I'll hit the flower shop today too before we head to the nursing home to clean out my dad's room.
Jack and I talked for a long time after we finally went to bed, trying to make plans for the things that need to be done for the funeral, for Christmas, for my clerkship, and even just ordinary things like painting our bedroom (ohhhh but I am tired of feeling like I'm sleeping in the girls' pink bedroom instead of our own room). We eventually gave up trying to make plans for more than a day at a time and turned out the light.
So now, I believe there's some toast and peanut butter in my immediate future along with a few pages on my kindle. Sleep will come eventually.
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