Two roads diverged..
Life is a game of choice. You can't escape it - every time you try, the talons of some unknown being will reach out to grab you, pull you back into the depths of ... decision.
This makes life a very tough thing for me to play along with sometimes. I'm indecisive .. and not by choice. I may be one of the most indecisive people ever =\ And it's never going to change.. or, maybe it will, but that'll happen so far down the road that I can't forsee it.
The only thing I've noticed about my indecision is the fact that I don't like choosing when other people are involved in my decisions. I want them to have what they want.. not be limited by my choice, you know? If someone gives my sister and I two different presents without delineating who should get what, I make her choose.. or leave it up to random chance.. because I don't want to get what I want and leave the other thing for her. Kinda makes things .. erm, difficult sometimes because she'd refuse to choose too x__X
When it has to do with where to eat with friends.. same thing. I want the other person/people to choose because I'm really not picky - I'm okay and will go along with just about anything. So I want them to get what they want...
This might all get annoying after a while, though. =\
Not much of the above really hurts me in the end.. but sometimes this facet of me - this unmovable decision to let others get what they want before I fulfill my own desires - ends up biting me in the .. erm, behind. It's happened a few times.. and sometimes it's made some things go too far. But I know I'm not faultless, because my own curiosity and lack of concern for my own wishes play into the end results, too.
And so it goes with most things in my life..
I'm so worried about giving people what they want that I end up ... being.. really stupid? I don't know. It really is stupid to concern yourself with letting others have what they want when, half the time, you don't know what they want. So instead of making conversation, you end up in silence because you don't know if they prefer silence or conversation .. and thus conclude that, if they wanted to talk, they'd talk first. Then it ends up in this mess where, maybe, they think you don't talk to them because you don't want to talk to them? Sounds dumb but it's happened before =\
I don't know how to change this aspect of me because.. it's just that: an inherent trait of mine. It's like an addiction, but it's just a part of .. who I am. How do I change that?
Don't even know why I'm writing this. I wanted to write a story =( Back to memorizing my speech =T
This makes life a very tough thing for me to play along with sometimes. I'm indecisive .. and not by choice. I may be one of the most indecisive people ever =\ And it's never going to change.. or, maybe it will, but that'll happen so far down the road that I can't forsee it.
The only thing I've noticed about my indecision is the fact that I don't like choosing when other people are involved in my decisions. I want them to have what they want.. not be limited by my choice, you know? If someone gives my sister and I two different presents without delineating who should get what, I make her choose.. or leave it up to random chance.. because I don't want to get what I want and leave the other thing for her. Kinda makes things .. erm, difficult sometimes because she'd refuse to choose too x__X
When it has to do with where to eat with friends.. same thing. I want the other person/people to choose because I'm really not picky - I'm okay and will go along with just about anything. So I want them to get what they want...
This might all get annoying after a while, though. =\
Not much of the above really hurts me in the end.. but sometimes this facet of me - this unmovable decision to let others get what they want before I fulfill my own desires - ends up biting me in the .. erm, behind. It's happened a few times.. and sometimes it's made some things go too far. But I know I'm not faultless, because my own curiosity and lack of concern for my own wishes play into the end results, too.
And so it goes with most things in my life..
I'm so worried about giving people what they want that I end up ... being.. really stupid? I don't know. It really is stupid to concern yourself with letting others have what they want when, half the time, you don't know what they want. So instead of making conversation, you end up in silence because you don't know if they prefer silence or conversation .. and thus conclude that, if they wanted to talk, they'd talk first. Then it ends up in this mess where, maybe, they think you don't talk to them because you don't want to talk to them? Sounds dumb but it's happened before =\
I don't know how to change this aspect of me because.. it's just that: an inherent trait of mine. It's like an addiction, but it's just a part of .. who I am. How do I change that?
Don't even know why I'm writing this. I wanted to write a story =( Back to memorizing my speech =T