Just. Keep. Pushing
I've I strive hard enough, I can become distracted enough to tune out the entire world around me. I can tune out people I don't want to listen to, problems, everything.
I have a hole where As You Like It and Antigone were this semester. I don't know what to pour my passion into. I don't how to slow down my beating heart. I don't know how to make my mind, which would usually find comfort at 7pm at nite, slow down enough so that I can remember to breath. All I want is to act, and get on stage, and yell and scream (artistically). All I want to do is to pour myself completely into something...
I am constantly searching and I can tell. And I really kind of don't like it. It makes me vulnerable. It gives me an agenda when I speak to people. especially females. I am searching for acceptance. When some reaches out, I grab because all I want right now is some sense of comfort and security. I'm not excited to go home for thanksgiving because I feel like it is going to be a zoo. I just want to chill but there isn't too much comfortability in my home. It's time like these when I wish I had beautiful, chill girl to kick it with for the holiday weekend. This constant searching makes my reactions odd. Things that I know I really don't care about, tinge me the wrong way. Rubs my heart the wrong way.
I don't really have time for extra sentamentalities. All I want to do is succeed because its the only motion that propels itself. All I want to do is get better. To be better. To be the best I can. I know it's partly a cover-up but it is one I can deal with.
This past weekend was prob one of the top weekends in my life. These last few months were too. I am excited to see what life will bring. I just want to get away and kind of start a new for myself, I think that is part of search though. I am looking for a new life with some new views.
For now I will just keep pushing though!
I have a hole where As You Like It and Antigone were this semester. I don't know what to pour my passion into. I don't how to slow down my beating heart. I don't know how to make my mind, which would usually find comfort at 7pm at nite, slow down enough so that I can remember to breath. All I want is to act, and get on stage, and yell and scream (artistically). All I want to do is to pour myself completely into something...
I am constantly searching and I can tell. And I really kind of don't like it. It makes me vulnerable. It gives me an agenda when I speak to people. especially females. I am searching for acceptance. When some reaches out, I grab because all I want right now is some sense of comfort and security. I'm not excited to go home for thanksgiving because I feel like it is going to be a zoo. I just want to chill but there isn't too much comfortability in my home. It's time like these when I wish I had beautiful, chill girl to kick it with for the holiday weekend. This constant searching makes my reactions odd. Things that I know I really don't care about, tinge me the wrong way. Rubs my heart the wrong way.
I don't really have time for extra sentamentalities. All I want to do is succeed because its the only motion that propels itself. All I want to do is get better. To be better. To be the best I can. I know it's partly a cover-up but it is one I can deal with.
This past weekend was prob one of the top weekends in my life. These last few months were too. I am excited to see what life will bring. I just want to get away and kind of start a new for myself, I think that is part of search though. I am looking for a new life with some new views.
For now I will just keep pushing though!