emptiness in my heart

[babiephat]

i saw him yesterday. I don't know why but i spoke to some friends and they told me to talk to him again. See what was really inside of him. Or atleast try to. Since i hadn't see him since the breakup i figured i should sort of say goodbye. even if it's just good bye to the relationship... i didn't want to, but a part of me said that he wasn't going

Comments

[dezireddiva]

well, its good that you guys talked. at least there are no questions in your mind as to why he's leaving. that will allow you to at least get to bed some point at night. I know it hurts, I so know. you say that since he said he'll call you "sometime" that it gives you a glimmer of hope that maybe you can be his love later in life- and while there is definitely a chance of that.. I can almost promise that you won't want him back in time. I thought the same exact thing. I thought if we stayed in eachothers life with simples "hello's" throughout the months that we'd get back together. We are friends now, so its good.. but I don't even want to be with him anymore. Its because you have all this time afterwards to start coming out of that bubble you were in with him & you start finally realizing [with a clearer eye] the reasons things fell apart. It'll be most likely because you guys outgrew eachother. I used to think we were perfect together.. but in the end.. you just want different things.

You're right, people change. Its the way of

[babiephat]

Yes i totally agree with you on everything you said. I know you went through the same thing i did, so i respect everything you said and i will keep all that you said in mind. I am just going to do Me now.. who knows what will happen later? i am not going to worry anymore. I feel more at ease now. I know i got responsibilities and i got friends and more importantly family to keep me happy .. thanx for helping me realize that not all good things are lasting.. and sometimes they work out, sometimes they dont. Friends is always good to be.. No matter what. I still care about him and love him.. maybe the love part won't last in the same way as now.. but he will always have a place in my heart. Maybe if he gets his life together things can go back somewhat to how they used to be .. but i won't wait on it. i love ya girl. .and glad things are working out for you as far as work etc.. <3 thanx for your support.
-nicole

[dezireddiva]

its ok to hope and wish..
just don't expect it yanno?

that way if your wishes do come true,
you appreciate them so much more. ;)

you are a very strong gurl &
I wish I lived out there to come feed you ice cream
and kick rocks at stupid boys with you,
but I'm here if you ever need to talk or chat.. whatever. <3

I love you too gurlie [blows a kiss your way]

[babiephat]

thanx ness<3 you mean alot to me.. and i hope i make it to cali one of these days so i can chill with you. i got an aunt and grandpa there but i don't know them very well. They don't keep in contact with me ever since my real dad passed and even before that. but ugh.... one of these days <3
you have a way with words.

[dezireddiva]

well I'm going to visit NY sometime next year.. I'm thinkin June.
so, if you haven't made it out here by then..
I'm going to hunt you down and demand some well deserved gurlie time <33

I didn't know your daddy passed.
I'm so so sorry. :(
I can't even imagine.

god bless you baby [hugz]

[babiephat]

yeah my real dad ... its cool. i live with my aunt and uncle, and i have for 12 years. I call them my parents now ya know? can't wait to see ya ;x