its over

[babiephat]

mauricio broke up with me thursday. he says it was because he doesn't want a girlfriend right now. He didn't want a serious relationship anymore. HE wouldn't tell me anything else. all he said was that he wanted us to be friends. I cried my eyes out. My friends comforted me. I am staying strong enough for them.. but inside im tearing myself apart. I am beginning to hate my life. i hate him but i love him. i cant be his friend right now. its been over two years and i can't let him go. I don't know what else it is. He told his sister that we argued alot. But that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to end it. Things were going good all up intil that sunday that we had the fight. I really thought he loved me tho. He's been hanging with an old friend. that friend has broken up with his girl, and now he sees mauricio every day and night. i was beginning to think he was gay. but i kinda doubt that. I miss him and i want him back. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to be alone. I know i will have to now, because that's all i can do in this situation, but it's hard as hell. i'm not calling him and he hasn't called me since sunday morning. I was sopposed to see him so we can talk about this but i fucked that up. Now he won't give me the time of day. Why does this guy jeremy always have to be around for everything now? i hate him more than ever. I'm going to call his best friend ernie on thursday and see what he says.
7.31.01--11.13.03

over.