(no subject)
grieving. that's what i'm doing.
WHAT THE HELL? WHAT AM I GRIEVING ABOUT?
oh yeah. dammit. stupid freaking. gAH!
when i'm done grieving, we can all be happy together.
we should all celebrate when i'm done. HA!
***
it's funny how you can be in denial for awhile and then when you snap out of it, you really snap out of it. it just hit me that people are leaving/gone. and i may never see some of them ever again. as much as i want to say "we'll keep in touch" i have to be realistic. i suck at it. haha. i'm thankful that the boys are still going to be around (even if it's only 2 quarters or so. but hey. they live here, so they cant really go far :P), but at the same time, they're not my whole world. i never realized how big of an impact some of these people leaving would be on me. sure, they're not all gone yet. and they might stay around in the area, but it's just not the same. a part of me feels left behind. everybody's moving on in their lives and i'm stuck here forever. granted, i do have only myself to blame for that. but still. it's hard sometimes.
***
God's doing something in my life. Satan definitely doesn't want whatever He's doing to happen. I'm stuck in the middle. i'm tired of being stuck in the middle. time to pray...with a fervor. hehe. that's a funny word. fervor.
WHAT THE HELL? WHAT AM I GRIEVING ABOUT?
oh yeah. dammit. stupid freaking. gAH!
when i'm done grieving, we can all be happy together.
we should all celebrate when i'm done. HA!
***
it's funny how you can be in denial for awhile and then when you snap out of it, you really snap out of it. it just hit me that people are leaving/gone. and i may never see some of them ever again. as much as i want to say "we'll keep in touch" i have to be realistic. i suck at it. haha. i'm thankful that the boys are still going to be around (even if it's only 2 quarters or so. but hey. they live here, so they cant really go far :P), but at the same time, they're not my whole world. i never realized how big of an impact some of these people leaving would be on me. sure, they're not all gone yet. and they might stay around in the area, but it's just not the same. a part of me feels left behind. everybody's moving on in their lives and i'm stuck here forever. granted, i do have only myself to blame for that. but still. it's hard sometimes.
***
God's doing something in my life. Satan definitely doesn't want whatever He's doing to happen. I'm stuck in the middle. i'm tired of being stuck in the middle. time to pray...with a fervor. hehe. that's a funny word. fervor.