(no subject)
I was asked the other day by Sarah, what have I given her. Not material things, but things of instrinsic value. When she asked me that, I was beating my brain trying to think of things that I've given her. She's given me so much. She's given me the feeling of randomness, living life to the fullest, and love. All I could think of that I've given her is my undying love. I would walk to the ends of the earth for her. I would do anything and everything she wanted. During the Christmas break, she called me and told me that she wanted to see me. I dropped everything I was doing and I went straight to her without a second thought. I didn't care that my parents didn't know. And even if they did, I didn't care what they would have said. When she told me all the things that she's given me, it made me feel inadequate because I haven't been able to give her the same amount of things. But does it matter how many things I give her, how many different feelings I give her? It feels great to get a lot, don't get me wrong. But if the only thing I've given her was my love, and not only was it love, but it was all the love I could have given, isn't that more than enough? If I could, I would get her anything and everything she's always wanted. But I can't because I'm just as poor as any other university student. I know love can't be bought, and that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm saying that BECAUSE I love her that much, I WANT to do those things for her, I WANT to get those things for her. Once again, this has made me feel inadequate, like I'm not doing the best I can. Sometimes I feel like I am, but when she asks me a question like that, I start to question myself. Maybe I need to have confidence in myself that the things I do ARE good enough, that the effort I put into the things I do are the best I can do.