Mar 11, 2005 02:57
Murphy's Law hasn't destroyed the world because to somebody, destroying the world would be the right thing.
So really it's because everything mostly just cancels out.
Fire a laser in a hall of mirrors and someone dies.
Puzzles don't have to be put together for you to see where every piece is supposed to go.
Ares the Roman God of War and a sheep were sitting in a bar. Ares was cold and wanted the warmth of the sheep's wool. So he beckoned the sheep over for that purpose. The sheep, a naturally warlike creature, obliged. In walked a Frenchman, cold as well. "Sheep," said he, but in French, "I am cold, donate to me some of your warmth?" And the sheep, a naturally Frenchlike creature, moved to oblige, but then there was Ares, the GOD OF WAR, who, being a God, wasn't apt to even be physically and materially able to share the wool, let alone to want to. So what was the Frenchman to do? Nothing. The moral is, if you go into a bar, expect alcohol, not wool.
If you roll dice in outer space, there's no way to determine what you rolled. Plus, by Newton's Laws, the dice will be rolling forever.
If butterflies cause hurricanes, do hurricanes ever cause butterflies?
In a Motown world, relationships only begin and end.
The letter E! The letter E! The letter E! The letter F.
What happens if you apply "Don't knock it until you've tried it" to a doorknocker?
There's other fish in the sea, which you can catch one at a time, randomly, with a fishing rod, a lot at a time, randomly, with a net, or none at a time by diving in but getting to see which ones you're missing as you do it.
The definition of a human being, the real philosophical human definition, is one who has volition. Volition is a desire about a desire. If you want to have sex, that doesn't make you human. If you want to not want to have sex, or if you're okay with wanting to have sex, or you want to want to have sex, any of those, then you're human. If you want to not want to not want to want to have sex wantingly, then you're human. (A confused one?)
Because of volition, we've got guilt (not wanting what you want, not liking what you did, not doing what you like, etc.; this is practically the definition of guilt); because of that guilt, we've got deception (if you don't want what you want, you act like you don't want it, when really you do. "No, I couldn't eat another cupcake.") and from deception comes irony and from both come distrust ("I don't believe you want what you say you want.") and comes miscommunication. (Assuming that smile on your face is not the expression you want to make but in fact you want to make me feel better. Wanting to frown at you but not wanting to offend you and thus smiling at you. You assume that smile on my face is genuine. Voila.) From miscommunication comes doubt and ignorance and cynicism. And all sorts of shit.
Thus, to be a human being is to __.
I am an optimist.