Part CCCXX - in a knowing jester

[babb_chronicles]

(link)my name is bellossom emerald silabone and i am 16 yeers old, i hav a twin brotder named edward diAMON silabone today he is really hawt but im totaly nawt into insest so dont think like that u sicko. but anyways he iis so hot he has short blonde hair, a really pale face, red eyes, he is a quatar vampire, quatar wizard, and quatar werewolf,

Comments

[cheryl_bites]

*Reads the first one* Hurrah, My Immortal lives!

Second one is even worse. Now I dead from ellipses.

Ginny smiled to herself, thinking of the day when she'd be the one with Draco's head in her lap. She enjoyed imagining the look on Pansy's face then!

¦) Threesome. I like it.

Harry was widely awaken by Dudley sitting on Harry`s Face.
"Dudley, GET OFF OF ME!"
" No"
"Magic!"
Dudley fell to the ground immediately with a loud thud.

This is genius. The Harry/Dudley relationship condensed to five lines. (HOW Harry can talk with Dudley's arse in his face is something we'd probably better not get into.)

Every one jumped when the explosion accrued

>.< They didn't do anything when it started... but they jumped when it got louder. Right.

and looked around to see who would blow up an cauldron in a newt level class to everyone's surprise

Is it all right to blow up a cauldron in a NEWT-level class if nobody's surprised?

I chuckled under my breath and placed my hand quickly on his flat stomach in a knowing jester

Unsolicited fisting. Poor Peeves.

And just who was this lover of hers that dominated her heart so much that the irresistible Sirius Black had literally no place in it? This lover was no other then Meatloaf.

>.<

...

I like how this thing doesn't have a single review. Everyone else was plainly as flummoxed as I was.

"Darcy Clarkson is an incredible wizard the Clarksons is known to be the longest clan that ever lived even before my time everyone had heard about the attack. They now call her The Girl Who Lived."

Yes, well.

Got to admire this reviewer's optimism:

Hoping she won't turn into a Marysue and suddenly become powerful,

I think it may be too late for that. And *looks at fic* the whole of the second chapter is in bold and underline. Wonderful.

"What happent to you now Potter." She said looking at his wondes some of which were very deep and very messy.
"Oh you now just falling down the staris of the astonomy tower"

As you do. (I love how he fell down the stars of the Astronomy Tower. Evidently gravity was temporarily inverted.)

"Her name is Lauren. It means laurel in Latin"

That's Laurus.

The last one destroyed my will to live. *Copies and pastes the opening paragraphs into Word to see how long the Sue-description is* OH MY GOD SEVEN HUNDRED WORDS. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS.

She was the epitome of beauty. Shining flaxen hair that looked soft as the clouds to touch, icy blue eyes that stunned any man with just a single glance

Melanin = ugly.

And from the rest of this fic, this "gem":

"Oy, Fred," one redhead nudged his doppleganger in the ribs. "There seems to be a weird girl lurking next to the brooms!"

The other, Fred, rolled his eyes, "Now that's a load of bullocks, George. What would a girl be doing in a Quidditch shop?"

Beyond dreadful.

[vivian_lake]

>>>HOW Harry can talk with Dudley's arse in his face

Telepathically.

[cheryl_bites]

But how do you SHOUT telepathically?! :p

[vivian_lake]

You envision the message you want to send as written in capslock, then direct this image to the recipient's mind.

[cookie_omnom]

Yay! Someone else thought of Tara! :D Deep down, I'm really hoping it's her, back to plague the interwebz

[cheryl_bites]

And now that she has Twilight to slag of, it will be EVEN FUNNIER!

...Oh, what are we talking about, she'll be off writing actual parodies of Twilight. Is there a babb_twilight community yet? It would be easy to make because even the source material is awful.

[sevenorora]

That means that I have to read more than the first few chapters I've read so far... not particulary fond of that...