Good and Dotty
I cbf stringing intelligent sentences to explain todays emotions and thought processes so good old dot points will do just fine:
- Not just feeling fat these days but actually starting to look it again. Have developed the saggy pregnant looking belly thing that my mother and late grandmother seem to have developed once they let their middles go and I don't like it one bit. Will do my usual act of throwing myself hardcore into the gym and diets for a couple of months until I am buff again. I know I should keep up with my regimes but I tend to loose motivation once I hit my target size again and end up falling back into my comfort zone. Works fine for me.....I basically just work out and eat well when I begin to get chunky again.
- Got onto Sarah about going out she is keen and totally up for it. We are thinking she will take me out like once every month and abit, give me time to save up the dosh and make it an extra special night. We both aren't ready for anything until after new years so she will keep her ears open for the events and let me know. I have had a gander myself online but all the sites don't seem to be showing anything past NYD yet.
- Although am looking forward to getting back onto the scene am seriously thinking I might forgoe the whole raver image. Its not me anymore. I may enjoy the music and admire the clothes and enjoy getting into a trancejestic high now and then but Im not raver. Ravers live in a world of glamerising self destruction and diminishing self dignity. I am a spiritual person. I use music and drugs to get closer to the gods, not to kill brain cells. Therefor I won't be dressing in raver gear, I will go as myself and be comfortable. I also will not be attempting to shuffle. I will simply get lost in the music
- It is payday tomorrow and I need to remember my budget this time. I printed it out in my organiser for a reason. I will consult it tomorrow and take out ONLY what I need and LEAVE MONEY IN THE ACCOUNT for bills etc!!