Death
The past week has been overwhelmingly awful. (Generally, it's been pretty OK, but Huge Pieces Of Bad News have been falling out of the sky and embedding themselves inextricably into the landscape of my life.)
I’ll start with someone who is still alive. My Auntie Kathleen is actually my Mum’s auntie. She was taken into hospital a couple of weeks ago. She has an infection of some sort, I can’t remember what it is, but it’s allowing the cancer to get worse more quickly because it’s lowering her immune system. This week she’s had multiple problems with her heart and she feels like she can’t breathe. A lot of this is the cancer. The doctors have told us - but not her - that she’s dying. We knew this anyway because of the cancer, but this time they mean ‘the very near future’ rather than ‘a few months, let’s see how it goes’. All they can do is make her comfortable.
Then we received news that my Dad’s Auntie Gladys has died. Her funeral is a week on Wednesday. We weren’t very close to her, but she always sent a lovely Christmas cad and we used to phone her to say thanks and have a word. Last time we saw her was at the funeral of another member of my Dad’s family, not very long ago. Dad used to be quite close to her, I think. When he was little, they used to go and stay for a month with her and have what sounds like a fantastic time.
Then we got a phone call saying that my (Mum’s) Uncle John has collapsed and died suddenly. He wasn’t even ill.
When I was growing up - no, even now - he was my favourite (great) uncle. My favourite of all
He always had a smile and a very distinctive laugh and a way of talking. He was
exactly what you'd want your granddad to be. (He was probably the closest I had to a granddad since both mine died before I was born.)
Now every single one of my Nan's siblings is dead. Uncle John was the last.
I wish I'd given him a bigger hug the last time I saw him.
My Auntie Marjorie (his wife) is quite ill as well with diabetes and a heart condition (which she had major surgery for in the last 18 months).
I just feel like I can't take this any more.
I never want to go to a funeral again, but now I have at least two to attend - possibly three, though we haven't really discussed me going to Auntie Gladys's. (I feel I should, though.)
I can't take any more sadness.
I can't take my family falling apart like this. Everyone decent, every one of them who would stretch out their hand to you - they're all gone, virtually.
I don't want this to be real.
Disabling comments because I can't - I just can't.
EDIT 11/03: OK, LJ went mad and I've just had to re-type half of this, which is really what I needed to do. *all upset again*
.
I’ll start with someone who is still alive. My Auntie Kathleen is actually my Mum’s auntie. She was taken into hospital a couple of weeks ago. She has an infection of some sort, I can’t remember what it is, but it’s allowing the cancer to get worse more quickly because it’s lowering her immune system. This week she’s had multiple problems with her heart and she feels like she can’t breathe. A lot of this is the cancer. The doctors have told us - but not her - that she’s dying. We knew this anyway because of the cancer, but this time they mean ‘the very near future’ rather than ‘a few months, let’s see how it goes’. All they can do is make her comfortable.
Then we received news that my Dad’s Auntie Gladys has died. Her funeral is a week on Wednesday. We weren’t very close to her, but she always sent a lovely Christmas cad and we used to phone her to say thanks and have a word. Last time we saw her was at the funeral of another member of my Dad’s family, not very long ago. Dad used to be quite close to her, I think. When he was little, they used to go and stay for a month with her and have what sounds like a fantastic time.
Then we got a phone call saying that my (Mum’s) Uncle John has collapsed and died suddenly. He wasn’t even ill.
When I was growing up - no, even now - he was my favourite (great) uncle. My favourite of all
He always had a smile and a very distinctive laugh and a way of talking. He was
exactly what you'd want your granddad to be. (He was probably the closest I had to a granddad since both mine died before I was born.)
Now every single one of my Nan's siblings is dead. Uncle John was the last.
I wish I'd given him a bigger hug the last time I saw him.
My Auntie Marjorie (his wife) is quite ill as well with diabetes and a heart condition (which she had major surgery for in the last 18 months).
I just feel like I can't take this any more.
I never want to go to a funeral again, but now I have at least two to attend - possibly three, though we haven't really discussed me going to Auntie Gladys's. (I feel I should, though.)
I can't take any more sadness.
I can't take my family falling apart like this. Everyone decent, every one of them who would stretch out their hand to you - they're all gone, virtually.
I don't want this to be real.
Disabling comments because I can't - I just can't.
EDIT 11/03: OK, LJ went mad and I've just had to re-type half of this, which is really what I needed to do. *all upset again*
.