I know it's lame and dumb..
But I am starting to seriously worry about not being able to find something else to do with my life without completing school. Yeah if I took extra years by taking few courses and still working my but off I could do it, but with taking 5 classes or 6 I would still be in school for the next decade+. To slow down that rate and well, I'd never finish.
All I have ever wanted to do was go to school, learn, becoming a vet. That's it. I've had this planned since before I started kindergarten and now that I here I just continually feel like I'm drowning. I spend all my time with school work, yet i'm always playing catch up. I don't go out, I don't see or make friends. I just work and study, and then blank out on tests. I'm finishing the year and I know I'll come back next year, but I don't see things getting any better.
I know I can repeat the courses, take out more loans and make it work etc. But the thing is, how long will it take? How many years of my life am I going to spent working my ass of in a class room for below average grades and crying over homework? I don't even want to think about next week, because it just depresses me that much more. I look forward to weekends because it gives me longer hours to study/work/read because I don't have class.
If I can't get this under control, get the grades make it into vet school get my degree (hopefully find work) make enough money to retire and open up my sanctuary farm, well I'm not really sure what I will do. Because really it's all I want to do. Volunteer, make a difference and help promote veganism and help animals/people/environment. I would love to just be a paid volunteer forever, but not only will that limit the amount of activism I can do for a variety of causes, but I honestly have no idea how to go about making a career in the volunteer world.
If I have to limit causes, then I ultimately want to end up in AR, which puts a big limit on the volunteer organizations that exist period. Namely I can think of two, Peta (enough said on that subject) and Vegan Outreach (Again whom I love, but their DIY another reason to love, but no jobs there). And again where this still makes it harder to get into volunteering at woman's shelters, child hospitals, food banks etc. Because I have a job, it is to volunteer elsewhere.
Money aside, because everyone knows how hard it is to live on a paid-volunteer salary. this kills being able to open my sanctuary, which again main goal.
I don't know where I am going with this, I think I just need to get it out in case maybe someone has some information or resources and because the few minutes writing this takes is a "break" of sorts and I need one. My muscles hurt and I want to sleep, but I can't.
All I have ever wanted to do was go to school, learn, becoming a vet. That's it. I've had this planned since before I started kindergarten and now that I here I just continually feel like I'm drowning. I spend all my time with school work, yet i'm always playing catch up. I don't go out, I don't see or make friends. I just work and study, and then blank out on tests. I'm finishing the year and I know I'll come back next year, but I don't see things getting any better.
I know I can repeat the courses, take out more loans and make it work etc. But the thing is, how long will it take? How many years of my life am I going to spent working my ass of in a class room for below average grades and crying over homework? I don't even want to think about next week, because it just depresses me that much more. I look forward to weekends because it gives me longer hours to study/work/read because I don't have class.
If I can't get this under control, get the grades make it into vet school get my degree (hopefully find work) make enough money to retire and open up my sanctuary farm, well I'm not really sure what I will do. Because really it's all I want to do. Volunteer, make a difference and help promote veganism and help animals/people/environment. I would love to just be a paid volunteer forever, but not only will that limit the amount of activism I can do for a variety of causes, but I honestly have no idea how to go about making a career in the volunteer world.
If I have to limit causes, then I ultimately want to end up in AR, which puts a big limit on the volunteer organizations that exist period. Namely I can think of two, Peta (enough said on that subject) and Vegan Outreach (Again whom I love, but their DIY another reason to love, but no jobs there). And again where this still makes it harder to get into volunteering at woman's shelters, child hospitals, food banks etc. Because I have a job, it is to volunteer elsewhere.
Money aside, because everyone knows how hard it is to live on a paid-volunteer salary. this kills being able to open my sanctuary, which again main goal.
I don't know where I am going with this, I think I just need to get it out in case maybe someone has some information or resources and because the few minutes writing this takes is a "break" of sorts and I need one. My muscles hurt and I want to sleep, but I can't.