It continues..
fucking ridiculous. I'm downstairs now hijacking Jesus's computer. Chased out of my own room, by this stupid shit.
Upstairs talking with dos, bad idea just slurred insults and argueing. So I left, downstairs to do the fucking work denise left for us. I did more than half allready. Back up stairs to hang out, get ride of the stupid lonley feeling, or the boredom. something to make this feel ok. And to get the banana/condom for graeme. Once he left told dos not to worry and that he and erin should stop giving graeme such a hard time, and that it was upseting him. Got some bs about how innocent D is and how Graeme well isn't, and how that makes you protective and shit. I said I didn't under stand or something, either way that caused another arguement or tiff. Basically Dos just said "And you wonder why WE all leave." Jee, thanks dos, thanks. Well guess what, I don't wonder that at all. I wonder why it is you all come back, but then I remeber oh yeah, I have cool stuff. Ok, yeah i shot back at him, but in all fairness he is living here in my room due to his problem at home. Sitting there playing my PS3 and putting me down.
Comical almost, as i walked away I hear his responce.
"Well you do have awesome shit"
So here I am siting in my empty house, on the couch with the new kittens, the cats and the dog. Feeling miserable only a bit worst.
Blog it out I thought, but oh wait.. can't go back to my room. I'm not wanted there. Or anywhere really.
So yeah sorry jason, I hope you don't mind.
Also because I'm an idiot all I wanted to do was try calling people. Talk to someone about it, because well.. that what i need and what i've been missing. But really.. who do I have to call?
I resisted the urge, and the fact I don't know the number. I don't want to get back into the habit of thinking I can depend on people. But god.. I wish I could try. At least know that yeah they don't care when they hang up, or maybe just maybe.. have someone come and make things a bit better?
God I wish this feeling would go away.
But with people allways leaving
commenting
argueing
hating
hurting
And just my general horrible feeling that won't go away.. it seems doubtfull.
In other news. I hate the fucking phone.
For some damned reason, I assume someone is on the other end each time it rings. And I get that slight beat in my heart, the hope.. everything kind of speeds up and lightens. Only to hear some poor soul at a call center ask to speak to Agnuis dickie. It's angus, he lives in moncton.
Upstairs talking with dos, bad idea just slurred insults and argueing. So I left, downstairs to do the fucking work denise left for us. I did more than half allready. Back up stairs to hang out, get ride of the stupid lonley feeling, or the boredom. something to make this feel ok. And to get the banana/condom for graeme. Once he left told dos not to worry and that he and erin should stop giving graeme such a hard time, and that it was upseting him. Got some bs about how innocent D is and how Graeme well isn't, and how that makes you protective and shit. I said I didn't under stand or something, either way that caused another arguement or tiff. Basically Dos just said "And you wonder why WE all leave." Jee, thanks dos, thanks. Well guess what, I don't wonder that at all. I wonder why it is you all come back, but then I remeber oh yeah, I have cool stuff. Ok, yeah i shot back at him, but in all fairness he is living here in my room due to his problem at home. Sitting there playing my PS3 and putting me down.
Comical almost, as i walked away I hear his responce.
"Well you do have awesome shit"
So here I am siting in my empty house, on the couch with the new kittens, the cats and the dog. Feeling miserable only a bit worst.
Blog it out I thought, but oh wait.. can't go back to my room. I'm not wanted there. Or anywhere really.
So yeah sorry jason, I hope you don't mind.
Also because I'm an idiot all I wanted to do was try calling people. Talk to someone about it, because well.. that what i need and what i've been missing. But really.. who do I have to call?
I resisted the urge, and the fact I don't know the number. I don't want to get back into the habit of thinking I can depend on people. But god.. I wish I could try. At least know that yeah they don't care when they hang up, or maybe just maybe.. have someone come and make things a bit better?
God I wish this feeling would go away.
But with people allways leaving
commenting
argueing
hating
hurting
And just my general horrible feeling that won't go away.. it seems doubtfull.
In other news. I hate the fucking phone.
For some damned reason, I assume someone is on the other end each time it rings. And I get that slight beat in my heart, the hope.. everything kind of speeds up and lightens. Only to hear some poor soul at a call center ask to speak to Agnuis dickie. It's angus, he lives in moncton.