(no subject)
So I’ve forgotten what a long 1am walk and a cigarette can do for you. Although the cigarette probably wasn’t the best idea. I got the world to stand still for 10 minutes for me to actually have a chance to contemplate things. Not that it really got me anywhere, but the peace for 10 minutes was priceless at this point. Not to mention ambers here now. Its funny how for me the people you don’t expect to be there for you are the ones that are… but then again that’s partly my fault cause I know a few of my friends are there I just don’t chose to vent to them. But then again I have my reasons for that too. I really need to stop with this thing of if I like someone I don’t like anyone else. Cause it just doesn’t work plus then I lose something that could actually be something. like my shit with tesla where I liked her and then for like a year all the girls that were into me got the cold shoulder- yea stupid move on my part. But…. Ambers still here. And I cant figure out why… but im glad she is *smiles* now were going to go watch the butterfly effect and cuddle up in bed! Cause yes, that’s like the best fucking thing ever- at this at this point in time for me anyway- maybe tomorrow ill try and sort out my 150 billion thoughts and confusions for yall- have a good one.
Standing,
staring at my own reflection.
analyzing, my reflection,
more over my face,
and then from there to my base.
I see myself,
bogged down with concerns of the day,
and worries to come.
I look into my own eyes again,
and see that happy child I used to be.
so innocent, so curious.
Not a care in the world.
Only sandboxes and swing sets,
and hide n go seek, playing with action figures,
And looking up to my family;
As my family and nothing more,
I had a loving eye, that didn't judge,
that didn't accuse, and didn't hold a grudge,
that saw everything as being threat less.
I saw the world as a perfect place,
I had no doubt of God,
and I believed in monsters.
I miss those days, when girls had cooties,
it was cute then;
but now there cuties.
now the tables have turned.
almost everything has evolved,
perverted into lies, mistakes,
my bads and i'll never do it again.
everyday is like i'm sorry,
please forgive me,
everyone is a threat, trust no one
not even your family.
your girl can cheat, friends will betray,
tests and choices, decisions and compromising situations,
college, money, careers, and being an adult.
A picture is worth a thousand words they say;
but as I stare at my own reflection…
I get a clear billion word definition…
of who I am...
Standing,
staring at my own reflection.
analyzing, my reflection,
more over my face,
and then from there to my base.
I see myself,
bogged down with concerns of the day,
and worries to come.
I look into my own eyes again,
and see that happy child I used to be.
so innocent, so curious.
Not a care in the world.
Only sandboxes and swing sets,
and hide n go seek, playing with action figures,
And looking up to my family;
As my family and nothing more,
I had a loving eye, that didn't judge,
that didn't accuse, and didn't hold a grudge,
that saw everything as being threat less.
I saw the world as a perfect place,
I had no doubt of God,
and I believed in monsters.
I miss those days, when girls had cooties,
it was cute then;
but now there cuties.
now the tables have turned.
almost everything has evolved,
perverted into lies, mistakes,
my bads and i'll never do it again.
everyday is like i'm sorry,
please forgive me,
everyone is a threat, trust no one
not even your family.
your girl can cheat, friends will betray,
tests and choices, decisions and compromising situations,
college, money, careers, and being an adult.
A picture is worth a thousand words they say;
but as I stare at my own reflection…
I get a clear billion word definition…
of who I am...