I've heard a lot of people say that ultimatums in relationships are wrong, but I think there's a big difference between that kind of action in a controlling way and in an honest way. That is, if you truly can't live with her drinking, it is simply honest to say, "I'm sorry, I just can't live with this anymore" vs something like, "I think drinking is bad and you shouldn't do it", if that makes sense. I think it can be a hard distinction but ultimately, you have to think of yourself first and if this is something that is going to make you miserable then you have to be true to yourself, you know?
Besides the fact that I think you were completely fair here. If I'm interpreting it correctly you guys aren't living together or anything, so there are still times she can go out and drink and "have fun" (if she's having fun; is she an alcoholic? I'm not saying that to be flippant. I just don't know the extent of the issue here) without you. I think back to how I dealt with some of the stuff with Gary and realize I was being a bit.. overbearing, I suppose, but such is life when you're 16 I guess. I think what you're asking is well within your bounds as a boyfriend, especially when you have a concrete reason to dislike what she's doing.
Anyway, I hope it works out for both of you guys. Like I said, I don't exactly know what's going on but based on what you're saying it doesn't seem like she's in a completely healthy place. That might make ending things even harder, emotionally, but maybe you can still be there to support her if that's what she needs.
Besides the fact that I think you were completely fair here. If I'm interpreting it correctly you guys aren't living together or anything, so there are still times she can go out and drink and "have fun" (if she's having fun; is she an alcoholic? I'm not saying that to be flippant. I just don't know the extent of the issue here) without you. I think back to how I dealt with some of the stuff with Gary and realize I was being a bit.. overbearing, I suppose, but such is life when you're 16 I guess. I think what you're asking is well within your bounds as a boyfriend, especially when you have a concrete reason to dislike what she's doing.
Anyway, I hope it works out for both of you guys. Like I said, I don't exactly know what's going on but based on what you're saying it doesn't seem like she's in a completely healthy place. That might make ending things even harder, emotionally, but maybe you can still be there to support her if that's what she needs.
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