I need more angry/emo icons
Note: this is to be taken with a grain of salt as I'm very frustrated right now and just need a way to get those frustrations out.
Fucking fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck. I hate myself.
I guess I don't really matter, do I? It doesn't really matter if I'm happy or not or what I do so long as I uphold that image that I'm the perfect child and I do everything right. No, Shannon is always completely selfless and always does what she's supposed to do and it always works out for her and she's happy that way and that's what she's naturally like.
FUCK THAT.
So maybe I'm "supposed" to always know when something needs to be done. Maybe I'm "supposed" to have a new job. Maybe I'm "supposed" to be the rational one to keep up my father's morale and cater to my mother's every whim while she storms about like a petulant teenager. Maybe I'm "supposed" to be the strong one who's holding everything together. Because that's clearly what THE DAUGHTER is supposed to be doing right now.
WELL MAYBE I'M TIRED OF DOING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.
Did you ever think about that? That maybe I'm happy being alone and depressed, huh? But no. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling. So long as everyone else sees what a good daughter I am. Like how it doesn't matter that I like school: just keep bringing home those good grades so it makes us look good for all of our friends. It's not like we need to show YOU any appreciation.
Maybe I'm not as strong and as smart and as good as I always thought I was, or as you always thought I was. You're going to have to deal with it. You're going to have to deal with the fact that I don't have things together, that I'm fucked up inside, that I'm really not a good person. You're going to have to deal with that.
Maybe if you ever paid attention to my feelings instead of taking out your own anger on everyone else you might have noticed this earlier. Maybe if FUCKING TOLD ME THINGS WHEN THEY WERE HAPPENING INSTEAD OF MONTHS AFTER THE FACT, I wouldn't be so messed up. Did you ever think of that?
I'm so sorry that I'm not your ideal. FUCKING GET OVER IT.
I'm so pathetic. It seems that all I ever do now is wish ill upon others, so they can be as miserable as I am. I can't do anything right. No one seems to like me for who I am anymore, but for the perfect helful little girl who I used to be.
Well I'm tired of playing to your tune. I'm tired of doing everything right.
. . . .
Where did I go wrong? Why am I so broken inside? And how can I ever fix myself?
Fucking fuck fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck. I hate myself.
I guess I don't really matter, do I? It doesn't really matter if I'm happy or not or what I do so long as I uphold that image that I'm the perfect child and I do everything right. No, Shannon is always completely selfless and always does what she's supposed to do and it always works out for her and she's happy that way and that's what she's naturally like.
FUCK THAT.
So maybe I'm "supposed" to always know when something needs to be done. Maybe I'm "supposed" to have a new job. Maybe I'm "supposed" to be the rational one to keep up my father's morale and cater to my mother's every whim while she storms about like a petulant teenager. Maybe I'm "supposed" to be the strong one who's holding everything together. Because that's clearly what THE DAUGHTER is supposed to be doing right now.
WELL MAYBE I'M TIRED OF DOING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.
Did you ever think about that? That maybe I'm happy being alone and depressed, huh? But no. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling. So long as everyone else sees what a good daughter I am. Like how it doesn't matter that I like school: just keep bringing home those good grades so it makes us look good for all of our friends. It's not like we need to show YOU any appreciation.
Maybe I'm not as strong and as smart and as good as I always thought I was, or as you always thought I was. You're going to have to deal with it. You're going to have to deal with the fact that I don't have things together, that I'm fucked up inside, that I'm really not a good person. You're going to have to deal with that.
Maybe if you ever paid attention to my feelings instead of taking out your own anger on everyone else you might have noticed this earlier. Maybe if FUCKING TOLD ME THINGS WHEN THEY WERE HAPPENING INSTEAD OF MONTHS AFTER THE FACT, I wouldn't be so messed up. Did you ever think of that?
I'm so sorry that I'm not your ideal. FUCKING GET OVER IT.
I'm so pathetic. It seems that all I ever do now is wish ill upon others, so they can be as miserable as I am. I can't do anything right. No one seems to like me for who I am anymore, but for the perfect helful little girl who I used to be.
Well I'm tired of playing to your tune. I'm tired of doing everything right.
. . . .
Where did I go wrong? Why am I so broken inside? And how can I ever fix myself?