Pokémon :: Fitting Back Together
Ladies and Gentleman? Allow me to introduce you to what I call a case of "Development Hell." For everyone who's ever had a longfill on a kink meme, here's my advice to you; finish it first before promising the OT their fic. This fic has endured Writer's Block and a second playthrough of B/W, but there was one song that inspired me to save it... "The Origin of Love" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Don't be surprised if you start seeing parallels between the fic and the song. :o
OT wanted fluffy sex between N and Touko, with the latter showing the former what love is. I don't know if OT ever got to read the finished fill, but hopefully, she will. And if she did, I hope it's to your satisfaction, and I thank your kindness and patience which encouraged me to keep going. :)
Also thanks to Sarah for the title suggestion. Yay~ ♥
Title: Fitting Back Together
Author: Puri
Fandom: Pokémon
Genre: Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex and mild swearing.
Ships/Characters: N/Touko
Finished: Yes. ;D
As far as N was concerned, sex meant two things: logic and selfishness. 1 + 1 = 2. That was how Pokémon and the human race continued on. Yet even if two Pokémon were "incompatible" of leaving eggs, it didn't matter to them. A pair found solace with another as soon as human backs were turned. N granted their privacy, and as he got older, his friends confided in him their secrets, telling him of a mysterious bond separate from love and friendship (and sometimes a mesh of all of them) that he couldn't understand. He asked Anthea and Concordia about sex ("What is it like for humans?") and their faces were as pink as he imagined the feeling to be. He asked his father and his face was as dark and cold as the bruises his friends had endured.
"Sex is a necessary evil. When it's not for procreation, humans use it to manipulate and hurt each other for their own selfish needs. In the outside world, people rape and sell themselves. They're lecherous and cruel and ruin lives. I cannot imagine my son, the future king of Team Plasma, to succumb to such urges. Stay pure, N. Don't ever think such thoughts again."
Pokémon were sincere with their feelings and caring regarding sex. Humans weren't. Lucky for him, he'd never worry about such a thing. Why would he feel such revolting things for a human?
~
Touko was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. And she was a trainer. N kept this in mind during their first battle, reminding himself that beauty was only skin-deep. He prepared himself for disappointment, but became surprised by the friendship she shared with her new "partner" Tepig. His attention remained on her "team" and they would tell him the same thing; she was kind and confident, fun and exciting to be around, and she loved them all. Tepig, who later evolved into an Emboar, went on to say Touko was his best friend in the entire world. Suddenly, he found himself talking to her. Aware of his lack of aptitude for human contact, he wondered why he wanted to speak to this girl, especially when everyone else made him feel uncomfortable. But he saw those things in her that made her special. Many of which he discovered on his own.
N felt certain their differences would drive them apart, yet Touko insisted on being his friend. "Battling doesn't have to mean hurting Pokémon," she said. "You're a trainer yourself, aren't you? I know you care for Pokémon. From the way we battled just now, I can tell." He didn't understand this. Yet even after he told her she was wrong, N felt relaxed in her company. He was fond of their encounters and he yearned to see her again. Even if it meant standing outside of a Gym.
He could NOT stop thinking about her. His head plagued constantly with her determined face and the way she stood up against Plasma time and time again. He thought of the brightness in her eyes and her toothy grin, and the joy and laughter she shared when she hugged Emboar after a victory. He thought of her ponytail and wondered what she would look like with her hair down. Then he hated himself because of the warm fuzz enveloping him, ashamed yet light-headed whenever he pictured himself embracing her, with his hands on her shoulders and imagining what it must be like to be as close as this...
~
I'm a failure as the king of Plasma.
Not that it stopped him from trying. N watched his own beliefs crumble, and he tried to resist, but ultimately failed. Zekrom defeated Reshiram... and he saw a brave hero. He had never heard Touko so angry the moment his father stepped forward to condemn him ("Shut up! N's nothing like that! He's a better man than you'll ever be!") and he feared losing the friend he had so come to respect. But even Ghetsis couldn't crush her. Not when the true hero of legend had the trust and love of her Pokémon with her.
N was wrong. Wrong about the way he had seen Pokémon and humans alike. Wrong about Touko. As he rode across the sky with Reshiram, he closed his eyes and accepted it. He loved her. Maybe one day, he'll come back as the human she believed him to be.
~
Touko shared several relationships with humans in his absence from Unova, and no doubt a few of them had been intimate. Yet N didn't feel as troubled as maybe he thought he should. Jealousy was a petty thing, and who was he to get in the way of Touko's happiness? He had been gone a long time, and she could stand on her own with or without a date. The more he thought about it, the less the past king was sure he'd be worthy of having his feelings returned. So life went on, yet even when her past dates did the same, he and Touko remained friends.
They brushed up on battling and Emboar and his teammates were as eager as ever; N approached Zoroark and his friends after a loss, and their words had changed. They were enthusiastic, happy... proud of N. His partnerships with his Pokémon used to be temporary, and he would release them as a favor to their freedom. Had he been depriving his "friends" the friendship they desired that was achievable through battle? Before, N found the concept sick and wrong, like he found many things to be sick and wrong. But as training progressed, and his Pokémon grew healthier rather than the other way around, N finally understood what it meant to be close to your Pokémon through battling. The trainer was as involved as its team, and it was getting to know Pokémon and other trainers on a closer, intimate level.
"Take a rest, Archeops. You did well."
You worked hard, N! Take it easy, okay?
Funny how often the messages and encouragements from his Pokémon mirrored his own. Perhaps there hadn't been a permanent barrier between humans and Pokémon after all.
~
"There's something I need to tell you." N said, standing in front of the ferris wheel. "I've been thinking about it since I first talked to your Pokémon."
Whenever Touko talked to N, she grew a lot more energetic in his presence. She didn't mind that he was quiet; there were some things better shared without words (though she envied N's ability to understand Pokémon) and something about him had a relaxing effect on her. He was kind and sweet and listened to everything she said, never judging her or giving her the impression of being bored. N was genuine, truly interested in the things she felt were important to her but were too stupid to tell Cheren or even Bianca, and it touched her.
"I don't know how to explain it." N frowned, shaking his head.
"What's on your mind?"
N stepped forward and she held her breath. It wasn't the first time he got close to her like this, but it never stopped her heart from pounding.
"I love you."
She couldn't believe it. The realization dawned upon her and she felt as if she'd burst with joy. She wanted to jump over the carts of Nimbasa's famed attraction to the very top and scream, pumping her fists in the air. YES! YES!
"Oh N!" she cried. "I just... I don't know what to say. I love you too!"
"That's not all."
"Huh?" Her expression faded when she saw N look troubled.
"You might think I'm a bad person." He sighed. "Can we discuss this after we're on the ferris wheel?"
~
As the ride neared the end of its descent, N was crying. His hands were plastered over his eyes and his voice was barely audible. In the beginning, he told her how he was raised, which was a relatively simple process. She knew who his friends and Ghetsis and the goddesses were, and he explained what they had taught him. Such explanation was as predictable as the formula for conception. But when he got to discussing his feelings for Touko herself, N faltered. He couldn't look at her body... he couldn't look at his own reflection on the window. Everything he loved about the ferris wheel: the complex equations, the bewildering heights, and the carnival-like excitement... it had lost its color as if they had ostracized N from that world. No longer a child, his knowledge made that perfectly clear. Maybe Father was right. I am a monster.
"N, it's perfectly normal! It's okay to have sexual feelings for someone. It's doesn't mean you want to hurt or rape me... sex isn't about that at all!"
"But it's not about love either."
"N, based off what you told me, you're more mature about sex than most people I know."
"How could you say that? I hardly know a thing about how it's supposed to be, or what is right and what is wrong! It's a human thing, and a Pokémon thing, both which are perceived differently... how does this make me smarter than most people who claim to know about sex? If it's okay, why am I ashamed? If it's terrible, why do I feel this warmth? Why can't it just be one thing or the other!? I don't understand it..."
He hardly responded as Touko gently patted him on the back, trying to comfort him. She didn't know what to say, except that she and N had this argument before... but with Pokémon. Ideals versus Truth. Why couldn't it be that simple? Why couldn't it be black and white? In this wide world full of possibilities, Touko knew a rainbow of paths could be chosen in between. Ideal and truth coexisted together, and the glass wasn't always half-full or half-empty. But N was told he had to choose between two extremes. Humans are evil. Humans are not. Pokémon shouldn't coexist with us. Pokémon should. Each view had its pros and cons... rather than choosing a side, it was a matter of looking between the lines. What did you believe in? What did you feel is right?
Her journey... her body. And she wanted N to know he had the same choices.
"I know it's frustrating, N. I've wrangled with this for a long time. But really... it's like you said about Pokémon training. Sex is a personal thing. I won't say there's no right or wrong answers to go with it, because it's obviously not true. Like you said, it's easy for humans to manipulate each other with sex as it is for us to misuse Pokémon. But I can assure you, you are not cruel or perverted, and you would never hurt me knowing that it's wrong to mistreat humans or Pokémon. And I would never pressure you into doing anything you're uncomfortable with."
"Are you saying I'm normal?"
"Absolutely!"
"...You're not ashamed of me."
"Of course not." Touko reached her arm around N, pulling him into a hug. "There's no need to beat yourself about this anymore. It's gonna be okay."
True to her word, a comfortable fuzz developed in N's heart as he stayed in her embrace. She hadn't rejected him. The ride rolled to an end and while at first they were reluctant to leave, they were more than happy to offer their cart to an eager preschooler and her pet Minccino with her father. Touko offered a lemonade for N and his Pokémon, and for the first time since his confession, he smiled.
~
Once upon a time, Pokémon and humans ate at the same table. They were indistinguishable from each other.
What happened?
"Cynthia told me that once." Touko said. "Did you know people believed Pokémon and humans used to get married? Interesting how Sinnoh thinks of the world like that, it's so different from Unova's."
Zekrom and Reshiram split due to their differences. Dialga and Palkia co-existed, but they were not allowed to meet. Why?
"Since Cynthia was around, I wanted to ask her about the different myths where Pokémon and humans became partners, like the one that showed why Pokémon appear to us in tall grass. I guess I was thinking about you. I forget what region it's from, but it stuck with me. Humans and Pokémon were once one and the same, like in Sinnoh. The reason we separated was 'cause the gods were afraid of us. We got too powerful, so they split us in two and drove us apart. Since then, humans and Pokémon have been seeking each other for companionship, trying to find another... when a Pokémon and its trainer work together as a team, they're connecting the pieces they had when they were still one, rearranging them together and making them fit."
Is this what Ghetsis had done to him? Deny me and be doomed.
Long ago, N wouldn't dream--let alone dare--defy his father. But since meeting Touko, he shocked himself with the slow-rising arguments that had boiled between him and Ghetsis ("She's different!") and the dissents continued long after his father's disappearance. No longer having the weight of Plasma on his shoulders, N knew that Ghetsis had misjudged her. Yet in spite of everything, Ghetsis raised him. While he wasn't right about everything, his father still taught him things that kept N safe. It wasn't something he could shake off, and he refrained Touko from cursing about his father. He just... didn't want to hear about it. He and Touko agreed this was the best course of action.
"You think it's happened with us, too?"
"With humans?" N asked.
"Yeah. The way we scramble to find each other, like when people talk about 'their other half.'"
"...It wouldn't surprise me if human gods did something like that."
Indeed, they were like yin and yang. They talked about any little thing, and they said the same thing about each other... that they never met anyone who thought quite like the other before. Born in such different circumstances, growing up with other views, and it brought them together instead of apart.
"You think... maybe..." she wondered.
Touko was far more experienced than he was. Yet it was she who trembled, she who asked permission. N didn't know what to say. He held her hand and stared at it, and his expression was the same unreadable serenity that she had come to identify him with.
"Show me."
~
Their words took them back to Touko's house in Nuvema, enjoying the cherry blossoms twirling in the wind like pink snow. Touko received a call from her mother that she would be out for a day or two seeing a friend, but she was free to rest as long as she kept the house tidy. Touko giggled, recounting to N her first Pokémon battles with Bianca and Cheren in her room: Messy. Awkward. Exhilarating.
His jacket and her vest met the floor, leaving him in black and her in white. N sat at the end of her bed, letting Touko run his hands through his hair and shoulders, while remaining uncertain how to act on his own. He supposed he could just roll with it... but what was the right equation to send tingles down her arms the way she did his? The cuffs met the bed-stand along with the bracelet and void cube, but Touko insisted the necklace stayed, twirling it with her fingers like a solitary planet orbiting his night-sky shirt.
"Take your time," Touko whispered, leaving a kiss on the corner of N's mouth. "It's not a race." Her lips met his and her hands folded inside his wild green hair. She undid the tie and let the tangled curls fall over his back, while he did the same for her ponytail. She drew a delighted purr when she witnessed his messy hair in comparison to her own billowed curls, knowing this would be an interesting night indeed.
"You're... beautiful." N smiled, though his words mumbled. Touko guided his hands along her arms, allowing him to gently lay her on the bed. His fingers found the courage to move on their own, stroking the pink blush on Touko's shoulders and admiring the grin on her face. They bumped foreheads ("S-Sorry.") and Touko giggled, closing her eyes and rubbing her nose with his. N's expression softened and returned the Eskimo kiss; why hadn't he known that it could be like this? The fuzz chilled to a halt when Touko started to lift his shirt.
"Don't do that."
"What?"
"Just... don't."
"Is something wrong?"
"I just don't think you'll like what you'll see."
Touko wasn't sure how to answer that one. N tended to be an expert at hiding his emotions. Had he been hurt beforehand? Was he nervous? Was he scared about how she would perceive him naked, or did it involve something more serious?
"Is there something I should know about?" she asked. N stared at her in his ruffled clothing, still as a statue. After a moment's contemplation, he sighed, pulling his shirt off himself. His skin was covered in dark welts and cuts, and pink ribbon scars covered his arms as if they had been caught in a bear trap.
"My god... what happened, N?" Touko's eyes widened with concern. She brushed her hand on his cheek in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.
"I've grown up around Pokémon who had been abused and abandoned by trainers. They had known nothing but cruelty from humans. I had yet to understand the feelings of Pokémon, but I wanted to play with them so I wouldn't be alone in the castle. They were afraid of me, so they would run away and sometimes lash at me."
"So you got those scars from Pokémon, huh? Must've been painful."
"Are you afraid of me?"
"Nah. Considering everything else in my Pokémon journey, being the hero and all, it's gonna take a lot more than that to scare me off." She kissed him. Her hands rested on his shoulders and slowly wrapped around his back. When he didn't flinch, she cradled him into a soft embrace. With a relieved sigh, he returned her affection. "I love you, N. Don't forget that."
~
Touko knew N was a good kid. She knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, though he could be intimidating without meaning to be. It was just how he was brought up. By that stupid asshole Ghetsis, she thought bitterly. Such negative feelings were dispelled as her shirt was lifted over her head and N traced little kisses on her neck and shoulder. N's thumbs kneaded her collar and his breath was soft, hesitant and tender. Touko's push-up bra rolled lazily from her arms as it was lifted and discarded.
"Touch them." she said.
As N leaned closer, his pendant landed on her cleavage, serving as a central sun. His fingers followed the rim of her breasts like an ellipse, tracing the skin until they reached the nipples, then orbiting out again in the way an astronomer traced a star. Once N mapped it out, once he understood the mystery and sought the sanctity of his discovery, he cradled the breasts and massaged them. Welcomed by their comforting scent, he rested his forehead and felt one of her nipples push past his mouth, which he humbly accepted and sucked.
Touko cradled N and gripped his back in encouragement. While inexperienced, the rough generosity of his tongue excited her, and she responded with delight at his touch. She winced when his teeth grazed her, and she reminded him to be careful. Other than that, N learned quickly and he was fast to respond to her needs. She stroked his hair with affection as he explored her with his hands and lips and tongue.
N's hands slid heavenly down her sides, and she giggled as he planted a kiss at the corner of her naval. He sat up to connect his mouth with hers again, which she eagerly returned as she locked his legs around him. His fingers trailed the top of her shorts, and she leaned forward in response. Her hand descended down the front of his pants and caught N on a ragged breath, gently caressing him.
"You deserve a little love too, you know." Touko whispered, kissing his earlobe. She tugged his pants away, and all N could comprehend was the intoxicating heat that shot through his legs and over his loins, surrendering to the other trainer as he scrambled to remove her shorts and underwear.
"Touko..." N breathed. He curled his arms around her as she teased his arousal, squeezing her tight as he pressed his lips to her shoulder once again. For a moment, N hesitated, and his arms trembled by her sides as he positioned above her. Sensing his tension, Touko pecked him on the cheek before laying back down.
"You ready?" she asked.
All his life, N had been told he would lose something: dignity, virtue, his own mind. The latter, he could certainly confirm. Rather, he found something, a mystery that haunted and eluded him and now he could finally find solace. Touko and N moved as equals rather than one empowering the other, and among the madness he thought of Reshiram and Zekrom, who reached a compromise without touch while they were no longer one. He could no longer think about equations or formulas or what they added up to. He barely comprehended his own climax, but in the end of it all, it hardly mattered as much as Touko smiling and content and holding him close. They rolled on their sides, panting and catching up with each other with one last sweltering kiss.
"You know..." Touko grinned. "I don't think you needed my help after all."
"For what?"
"Learning to love."
OT wanted fluffy sex between N and Touko, with the latter showing the former what love is. I don't know if OT ever got to read the finished fill, but hopefully, she will. And if she did, I hope it's to your satisfaction, and I thank your kindness and patience which encouraged me to keep going. :)
Also thanks to Sarah for the title suggestion. Yay~ ♥
Title: Fitting Back Together
Author: Puri
Fandom: Pokémon
Genre: Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Sex and mild swearing.
Ships/Characters: N/Touko
Finished: Yes. ;D
As far as N was concerned, sex meant two things: logic and selfishness. 1 + 1 = 2. That was how Pokémon and the human race continued on. Yet even if two Pokémon were "incompatible" of leaving eggs, it didn't matter to them. A pair found solace with another as soon as human backs were turned. N granted their privacy, and as he got older, his friends confided in him their secrets, telling him of a mysterious bond separate from love and friendship (and sometimes a mesh of all of them) that he couldn't understand. He asked Anthea and Concordia about sex ("What is it like for humans?") and their faces were as pink as he imagined the feeling to be. He asked his father and his face was as dark and cold as the bruises his friends had endured.
"Sex is a necessary evil. When it's not for procreation, humans use it to manipulate and hurt each other for their own selfish needs. In the outside world, people rape and sell themselves. They're lecherous and cruel and ruin lives. I cannot imagine my son, the future king of Team Plasma, to succumb to such urges. Stay pure, N. Don't ever think such thoughts again."
Pokémon were sincere with their feelings and caring regarding sex. Humans weren't. Lucky for him, he'd never worry about such a thing. Why would he feel such revolting things for a human?
~
Touko was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. And she was a trainer. N kept this in mind during their first battle, reminding himself that beauty was only skin-deep. He prepared himself for disappointment, but became surprised by the friendship she shared with her new "partner" Tepig. His attention remained on her "team" and they would tell him the same thing; she was kind and confident, fun and exciting to be around, and she loved them all. Tepig, who later evolved into an Emboar, went on to say Touko was his best friend in the entire world. Suddenly, he found himself talking to her. Aware of his lack of aptitude for human contact, he wondered why he wanted to speak to this girl, especially when everyone else made him feel uncomfortable. But he saw those things in her that made her special. Many of which he discovered on his own.
N felt certain their differences would drive them apart, yet Touko insisted on being his friend. "Battling doesn't have to mean hurting Pokémon," she said. "You're a trainer yourself, aren't you? I know you care for Pokémon. From the way we battled just now, I can tell." He didn't understand this. Yet even after he told her she was wrong, N felt relaxed in her company. He was fond of their encounters and he yearned to see her again. Even if it meant standing outside of a Gym.
He could NOT stop thinking about her. His head plagued constantly with her determined face and the way she stood up against Plasma time and time again. He thought of the brightness in her eyes and her toothy grin, and the joy and laughter she shared when she hugged Emboar after a victory. He thought of her ponytail and wondered what she would look like with her hair down. Then he hated himself because of the warm fuzz enveloping him, ashamed yet light-headed whenever he pictured himself embracing her, with his hands on her shoulders and imagining what it must be like to be as close as this...
~
I'm a failure as the king of Plasma.
Not that it stopped him from trying. N watched his own beliefs crumble, and he tried to resist, but ultimately failed. Zekrom defeated Reshiram... and he saw a brave hero. He had never heard Touko so angry the moment his father stepped forward to condemn him ("Shut up! N's nothing like that! He's a better man than you'll ever be!") and he feared losing the friend he had so come to respect. But even Ghetsis couldn't crush her. Not when the true hero of legend had the trust and love of her Pokémon with her.
N was wrong. Wrong about the way he had seen Pokémon and humans alike. Wrong about Touko. As he rode across the sky with Reshiram, he closed his eyes and accepted it. He loved her. Maybe one day, he'll come back as the human she believed him to be.
~
Touko shared several relationships with humans in his absence from Unova, and no doubt a few of them had been intimate. Yet N didn't feel as troubled as maybe he thought he should. Jealousy was a petty thing, and who was he to get in the way of Touko's happiness? He had been gone a long time, and she could stand on her own with or without a date. The more he thought about it, the less the past king was sure he'd be worthy of having his feelings returned. So life went on, yet even when her past dates did the same, he and Touko remained friends.
They brushed up on battling and Emboar and his teammates were as eager as ever; N approached Zoroark and his friends after a loss, and their words had changed. They were enthusiastic, happy... proud of N. His partnerships with his Pokémon used to be temporary, and he would release them as a favor to their freedom. Had he been depriving his "friends" the friendship they desired that was achievable through battle? Before, N found the concept sick and wrong, like he found many things to be sick and wrong. But as training progressed, and his Pokémon grew healthier rather than the other way around, N finally understood what it meant to be close to your Pokémon through battling. The trainer was as involved as its team, and it was getting to know Pokémon and other trainers on a closer, intimate level.
"Take a rest, Archeops. You did well."
You worked hard, N! Take it easy, okay?
Funny how often the messages and encouragements from his Pokémon mirrored his own. Perhaps there hadn't been a permanent barrier between humans and Pokémon after all.
~
"There's something I need to tell you." N said, standing in front of the ferris wheel. "I've been thinking about it since I first talked to your Pokémon."
Whenever Touko talked to N, she grew a lot more energetic in his presence. She didn't mind that he was quiet; there were some things better shared without words (though she envied N's ability to understand Pokémon) and something about him had a relaxing effect on her. He was kind and sweet and listened to everything she said, never judging her or giving her the impression of being bored. N was genuine, truly interested in the things she felt were important to her but were too stupid to tell Cheren or even Bianca, and it touched her.
"I don't know how to explain it." N frowned, shaking his head.
"What's on your mind?"
N stepped forward and she held her breath. It wasn't the first time he got close to her like this, but it never stopped her heart from pounding.
"I love you."
She couldn't believe it. The realization dawned upon her and she felt as if she'd burst with joy. She wanted to jump over the carts of Nimbasa's famed attraction to the very top and scream, pumping her fists in the air. YES! YES!
"Oh N!" she cried. "I just... I don't know what to say. I love you too!"
"That's not all."
"Huh?" Her expression faded when she saw N look troubled.
"You might think I'm a bad person." He sighed. "Can we discuss this after we're on the ferris wheel?"
~
As the ride neared the end of its descent, N was crying. His hands were plastered over his eyes and his voice was barely audible. In the beginning, he told her how he was raised, which was a relatively simple process. She knew who his friends and Ghetsis and the goddesses were, and he explained what they had taught him. Such explanation was as predictable as the formula for conception. But when he got to discussing his feelings for Touko herself, N faltered. He couldn't look at her body... he couldn't look at his own reflection on the window. Everything he loved about the ferris wheel: the complex equations, the bewildering heights, and the carnival-like excitement... it had lost its color as if they had ostracized N from that world. No longer a child, his knowledge made that perfectly clear. Maybe Father was right. I am a monster.
"N, it's perfectly normal! It's okay to have sexual feelings for someone. It's doesn't mean you want to hurt or rape me... sex isn't about that at all!"
"But it's not about love either."
"N, based off what you told me, you're more mature about sex than most people I know."
"How could you say that? I hardly know a thing about how it's supposed to be, or what is right and what is wrong! It's a human thing, and a Pokémon thing, both which are perceived differently... how does this make me smarter than most people who claim to know about sex? If it's okay, why am I ashamed? If it's terrible, why do I feel this warmth? Why can't it just be one thing or the other!? I don't understand it..."
He hardly responded as Touko gently patted him on the back, trying to comfort him. She didn't know what to say, except that she and N had this argument before... but with Pokémon. Ideals versus Truth. Why couldn't it be that simple? Why couldn't it be black and white? In this wide world full of possibilities, Touko knew a rainbow of paths could be chosen in between. Ideal and truth coexisted together, and the glass wasn't always half-full or half-empty. But N was told he had to choose between two extremes. Humans are evil. Humans are not. Pokémon shouldn't coexist with us. Pokémon should. Each view had its pros and cons... rather than choosing a side, it was a matter of looking between the lines. What did you believe in? What did you feel is right?
Her journey... her body. And she wanted N to know he had the same choices.
"I know it's frustrating, N. I've wrangled with this for a long time. But really... it's like you said about Pokémon training. Sex is a personal thing. I won't say there's no right or wrong answers to go with it, because it's obviously not true. Like you said, it's easy for humans to manipulate each other with sex as it is for us to misuse Pokémon. But I can assure you, you are not cruel or perverted, and you would never hurt me knowing that it's wrong to mistreat humans or Pokémon. And I would never pressure you into doing anything you're uncomfortable with."
"Are you saying I'm normal?"
"Absolutely!"
"...You're not ashamed of me."
"Of course not." Touko reached her arm around N, pulling him into a hug. "There's no need to beat yourself about this anymore. It's gonna be okay."
True to her word, a comfortable fuzz developed in N's heart as he stayed in her embrace. She hadn't rejected him. The ride rolled to an end and while at first they were reluctant to leave, they were more than happy to offer their cart to an eager preschooler and her pet Minccino with her father. Touko offered a lemonade for N and his Pokémon, and for the first time since his confession, he smiled.
~
Once upon a time, Pokémon and humans ate at the same table. They were indistinguishable from each other.
What happened?
"Cynthia told me that once." Touko said. "Did you know people believed Pokémon and humans used to get married? Interesting how Sinnoh thinks of the world like that, it's so different from Unova's."
Zekrom and Reshiram split due to their differences. Dialga and Palkia co-existed, but they were not allowed to meet. Why?
"Since Cynthia was around, I wanted to ask her about the different myths where Pokémon and humans became partners, like the one that showed why Pokémon appear to us in tall grass. I guess I was thinking about you. I forget what region it's from, but it stuck with me. Humans and Pokémon were once one and the same, like in Sinnoh. The reason we separated was 'cause the gods were afraid of us. We got too powerful, so they split us in two and drove us apart. Since then, humans and Pokémon have been seeking each other for companionship, trying to find another... when a Pokémon and its trainer work together as a team, they're connecting the pieces they had when they were still one, rearranging them together and making them fit."
Is this what Ghetsis had done to him? Deny me and be doomed.
Long ago, N wouldn't dream--let alone dare--defy his father. But since meeting Touko, he shocked himself with the slow-rising arguments that had boiled between him and Ghetsis ("She's different!") and the dissents continued long after his father's disappearance. No longer having the weight of Plasma on his shoulders, N knew that Ghetsis had misjudged her. Yet in spite of everything, Ghetsis raised him. While he wasn't right about everything, his father still taught him things that kept N safe. It wasn't something he could shake off, and he refrained Touko from cursing about his father. He just... didn't want to hear about it. He and Touko agreed this was the best course of action.
"You think it's happened with us, too?"
"With humans?" N asked.
"Yeah. The way we scramble to find each other, like when people talk about 'their other half.'"
"...It wouldn't surprise me if human gods did something like that."
Indeed, they were like yin and yang. They talked about any little thing, and they said the same thing about each other... that they never met anyone who thought quite like the other before. Born in such different circumstances, growing up with other views, and it brought them together instead of apart.
"You think... maybe..." she wondered.
Touko was far more experienced than he was. Yet it was she who trembled, she who asked permission. N didn't know what to say. He held her hand and stared at it, and his expression was the same unreadable serenity that she had come to identify him with.
"Show me."
~
Their words took them back to Touko's house in Nuvema, enjoying the cherry blossoms twirling in the wind like pink snow. Touko received a call from her mother that she would be out for a day or two seeing a friend, but she was free to rest as long as she kept the house tidy. Touko giggled, recounting to N her first Pokémon battles with Bianca and Cheren in her room: Messy. Awkward. Exhilarating.
His jacket and her vest met the floor, leaving him in black and her in white. N sat at the end of her bed, letting Touko run his hands through his hair and shoulders, while remaining uncertain how to act on his own. He supposed he could just roll with it... but what was the right equation to send tingles down her arms the way she did his? The cuffs met the bed-stand along with the bracelet and void cube, but Touko insisted the necklace stayed, twirling it with her fingers like a solitary planet orbiting his night-sky shirt.
"Take your time," Touko whispered, leaving a kiss on the corner of N's mouth. "It's not a race." Her lips met his and her hands folded inside his wild green hair. She undid the tie and let the tangled curls fall over his back, while he did the same for her ponytail. She drew a delighted purr when she witnessed his messy hair in comparison to her own billowed curls, knowing this would be an interesting night indeed.
"You're... beautiful." N smiled, though his words mumbled. Touko guided his hands along her arms, allowing him to gently lay her on the bed. His fingers found the courage to move on their own, stroking the pink blush on Touko's shoulders and admiring the grin on her face. They bumped foreheads ("S-Sorry.") and Touko giggled, closing her eyes and rubbing her nose with his. N's expression softened and returned the Eskimo kiss; why hadn't he known that it could be like this? The fuzz chilled to a halt when Touko started to lift his shirt.
"Don't do that."
"What?"
"Just... don't."
"Is something wrong?"
"I just don't think you'll like what you'll see."
Touko wasn't sure how to answer that one. N tended to be an expert at hiding his emotions. Had he been hurt beforehand? Was he nervous? Was he scared about how she would perceive him naked, or did it involve something more serious?
"Is there something I should know about?" she asked. N stared at her in his ruffled clothing, still as a statue. After a moment's contemplation, he sighed, pulling his shirt off himself. His skin was covered in dark welts and cuts, and pink ribbon scars covered his arms as if they had been caught in a bear trap.
"My god... what happened, N?" Touko's eyes widened with concern. She brushed her hand on his cheek in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.
"I've grown up around Pokémon who had been abused and abandoned by trainers. They had known nothing but cruelty from humans. I had yet to understand the feelings of Pokémon, but I wanted to play with them so I wouldn't be alone in the castle. They were afraid of me, so they would run away and sometimes lash at me."
"So you got those scars from Pokémon, huh? Must've been painful."
"Are you afraid of me?"
"Nah. Considering everything else in my Pokémon journey, being the hero and all, it's gonna take a lot more than that to scare me off." She kissed him. Her hands rested on his shoulders and slowly wrapped around his back. When he didn't flinch, she cradled him into a soft embrace. With a relieved sigh, he returned her affection. "I love you, N. Don't forget that."
~
Touko knew N was a good kid. She knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, though he could be intimidating without meaning to be. It was just how he was brought up. By that stupid asshole Ghetsis, she thought bitterly. Such negative feelings were dispelled as her shirt was lifted over her head and N traced little kisses on her neck and shoulder. N's thumbs kneaded her collar and his breath was soft, hesitant and tender. Touko's push-up bra rolled lazily from her arms as it was lifted and discarded.
"Touch them." she said.
As N leaned closer, his pendant landed on her cleavage, serving as a central sun. His fingers followed the rim of her breasts like an ellipse, tracing the skin until they reached the nipples, then orbiting out again in the way an astronomer traced a star. Once N mapped it out, once he understood the mystery and sought the sanctity of his discovery, he cradled the breasts and massaged them. Welcomed by their comforting scent, he rested his forehead and felt one of her nipples push past his mouth, which he humbly accepted and sucked.
Touko cradled N and gripped his back in encouragement. While inexperienced, the rough generosity of his tongue excited her, and she responded with delight at his touch. She winced when his teeth grazed her, and she reminded him to be careful. Other than that, N learned quickly and he was fast to respond to her needs. She stroked his hair with affection as he explored her with his hands and lips and tongue.
N's hands slid heavenly down her sides, and she giggled as he planted a kiss at the corner of her naval. He sat up to connect his mouth with hers again, which she eagerly returned as she locked his legs around him. His fingers trailed the top of her shorts, and she leaned forward in response. Her hand descended down the front of his pants and caught N on a ragged breath, gently caressing him.
"You deserve a little love too, you know." Touko whispered, kissing his earlobe. She tugged his pants away, and all N could comprehend was the intoxicating heat that shot through his legs and over his loins, surrendering to the other trainer as he scrambled to remove her shorts and underwear.
"Touko..." N breathed. He curled his arms around her as she teased his arousal, squeezing her tight as he pressed his lips to her shoulder once again. For a moment, N hesitated, and his arms trembled by her sides as he positioned above her. Sensing his tension, Touko pecked him on the cheek before laying back down.
"You ready?" she asked.
All his life, N had been told he would lose something: dignity, virtue, his own mind. The latter, he could certainly confirm. Rather, he found something, a mystery that haunted and eluded him and now he could finally find solace. Touko and N moved as equals rather than one empowering the other, and among the madness he thought of Reshiram and Zekrom, who reached a compromise without touch while they were no longer one. He could no longer think about equations or formulas or what they added up to. He barely comprehended his own climax, but in the end of it all, it hardly mattered as much as Touko smiling and content and holding him close. They rolled on their sides, panting and catching up with each other with one last sweltering kiss.
"You know..." Touko grinned. "I don't think you needed my help after all."
"For what?"
"Learning to love."