Cooking for the Family 2
When Jared got to the house there were a few paparazzi already there on the sidewalk. Jared ignored them. He’d changed back into sweats and a t-shirt after the restaurant. It had been a rough night and he could use a nap. He unlocked the door with his key and then relocked it behind himself and the dogs. There was no one in Jensen’s room. The bottom bunk in Jamie’s room had been stripped. Uh-oh. No one in the kitchen, living room or backyard. Then he heard breathing close by and through an open door he saw them, fast asleep in a girl’s room, everything in it was pale yellow and green.
The dogs followed him in and he leaned down by Jensen, “Jen?”
Jensen blinked, “Hey.” Jamie was asleep on his chest.
“What’s up?”
“Nightmare, wet bed, Tricia’s room, get in.”
“You sure? Should I leave?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Dogs too.”
Jared kicked off his shoes and slid into the bed on the other side of Jensen. Jamie stirred slightly, blinked owlishly at Jared, looking so much like his father. “No talking, Jared,” he picked up Jared’s arm and draped it over himself and subsequently Jensen. The dogs settled at the foot of the bed. Jared allowed himself to drift and soon joined the other two in sleep.
He woke up as Jamie started to move. Jamie sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Hi,” said Jamie.
“Hi.”
“I had a nightmare,” said Jamie.
“Me too.”
“Did you wet the bed?”
Jared shook his head, “No, but it took me hours to go back to sleep.”
“What did you do about your nightmare?”
“I told the paparazzi in my dream to go away or I would kick them. They left.” It was a bald-faced lie. In actuality he’d needed two cups of coffee and a slice of pie to feel even a little bit better. It had taken cooking Jamie-safe dog kibble to make him sleepy enough to pass out again. In his dream he’s been crowded into a corner by paparazzi who’d pulled off strips of his flesh and swallowed them down without chewing, the meaning was pretty obvious. He’d screamed as they took pictures. He may have screamed aloud too, the dogs had seemed pretty freaked out when he’d woken up.
Jensen woke up slowly and sniffed, “Cornmeal pancakes,” he said sitting up, “and coffee.”
“You had a nightmare about pancakes and coffee?” asked Jared.
“No, that’s what we need for breakfast.” He got out of bed, budging Sadie as he did so, “Sorry, doll,” he apologized.
He always spoke to them like people and Jared really appreciated that. In the kitchen, all three of them still in PJs, Jensen and Jamie taught Jared how to make cornmeal pancakes and it was a nice slow morning, just hanging out and finishing the laundry. As they ate Jensen said, “Jamie, do you still want to have a sleepover tonight? It’s okay is you don’t, if you’d rather be in bed with Jared and me.”
“No. I want a sleepover. I’ll be okay tonight.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’ll be okay. I want a sleepover.”
“Okay… let’s make ice pops this afternoon.”
“I like making ice pops.”
“I know,” said Jensen with a smile. “Let me call your uncle. Why don’t you go clean your room after breakfast so you and your cousins can have a nice time?” Jamie sighed but nodded. “Want some more pancakes?”
Jamie smiled, “Two please.”
Jensen stood and went to the stove, “Jared?”
“Yeah, two more would be awesome for me too, please.” He stood, “I’ll make another pot of coffee.”
The dogs had eaten their kibble and were running around in the backyard. “Daddy, after I clean my room can we have a lesson? I want to learn something new and hard but fun.”
“Sure, baby.”
Jamie didn’t protest his dad calling him baby in front of Jared which Jared took as a good sign. They ate and Jamie went to clean his room. Jensen remade Jamie’s bed and pulled out a sleeping bag for Mark. Then while Jamie was still cleaning Jensen called Josh from the kitchen.
He spoke softly and Jared only heard half the conversation. “Hey… yeah, we had a rough night actually… slept in Tricia’s bed… I agree. I just wanted to see if you were still up for a sleep over. There’s a ton of paparazzi here… No, of course I know that. I just wasn’t so sure, with the kids and everything… Okay. Well, remember swimsuits and we’ll see you around three. You can meet Jared.” Jensen laughed at something Josh said. “We’ll see you later.” Hanging up Jensen said, “I think Josh is more excited about meeting you than he is about the first date he’s had in months.”
“Well I am a really exciting person.” Jared didn’t really think about how it sounded until Jensen laughed. “I just meant that I’m famous.” Jensen laughed again. “That’s not vanity that’s just a fact.” Jensen laughed. “It’s not my fault I’m awesome.”
“You are the vainest man I’ve ever met.” But Jensen smiled at him and kissed him.
~~~
The day was so nice. They made the ice pops and Jensen just relaxed as he taught Jamie Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In. It was difficult song because medleys were always hard, you had to think sideways. They played for a long time and for the first time in two years he really enjoyed the lesson. They moved back to Styx and then Jamie said, “I’m done.” Jensen knew all about hitting the wall and that once you were done there was no getting back to what you were doing before.
“Pool?”
“No, I got a third grade book from the library. I wanna start that.”
“Sounds good.” He turned to Jared and said, “And what do you want to do?”
“I want to watch one of your movies.”
So they went to the living room. Jamie went past them into his room. Jensen pulled movies off the shelf and handed four to Jared. “These are the family friendly ones.”
Jared read through the backs of the DVD cases and said, “Oh, I like the sound of this one.” Jensen took it from him and saw that it was On the Journey, a period mystery about espionage against the French crown. As Jensen was putting the movie on Jamie came out with the book, dictionary, notebook and pencil. “Why do you have a dictionary?” asked Jared.
“To look up words. The Bailey School Kids books are hard.”
“Why not ask your daddy?”
“Jared, I don’t mean to be mean,” Jensen kept his back to the pair he knew that Jamie was about to making him laugh but he was probably going to have to tell him off, “but how did you ever learn anything?”
Jensen had to bite down the laughter as he said, “Not nice, Jamie, not nice.”
But Jared just laughed, “That is a valid point. You two don’t even realize how similar you are, do you?”
Jensen sighed and sat on the couch next to Jared, slinging an arm around him. Jared leaned into him. Jamie took a pillow off the couch and lay down with his stomach on the floor with the pillow under his chest, propping himself up on his elbows with his three books lined up. Sometimes being with Jamie was almost painful. He had Jensen’s nose, ears and freckles. He had his mother’s blue eyes, dark hair and mouth. Jensen had never given much thought to nature or nurture he was who he was and he liked who he was. Self examination wasn’t his thing. But he had no doubt about genetic memory.
Jamie was too young when she died to remember how his mother read. Jamie could remember important moments, things that were seared into him by the strong emotions of the events, but not something this simple. This wasn’t emulation but it was identical. He would swing his hips, causing his legs to swing back and forth hitting the floor on either side of him, like a slow metronome. He would hold his book open and tap his pencil’s eraser on the margin. He would pause when he got to a good bit without thinking and then return to the unconscious movement once the passage was over. When he started to get bored he would turn onto his back, book in one hand, the other on his stomach with his legs propped up on the couch. Ten minute after that he would be done with reading for the day.
Tricia’s ghost was in the room, present in their son’s body. Jensen wished, not for the first time not even for the millionth, that she was here with them. She would sit with her back against the arm of the couch, her feet in his lap. The four of them would watch the movie. She would have a bowl of popcorn on her lap because she always needed popcorn with a movie. She would like Jared. She would say, “I’d try to go straight for him,” and they would laugh. It got easier over time, it did, it got easier to not get stuck in every minute. But it didn’t hurt any less, the hole she left didn’t refill itself and he still wanted his wife.
He felt Jared nudge him and saw Jared give him a puzzled look. Jensen smiled and settled into the movie. It was nice, chilling out. Dating Jared was good for him. Jamie gave up reading after about forty minutes and handed Jensen his note book, “I learned four words.”
They were written in Jamie’s sloppy six year-old hand with definitions next to them. “Awesome. Liking the book?”
“I think the bus driver is a gargoyle. But we’ll never find out.”
“Cool.” Jamie left his books where they lay and sat down in Jensen’s lap. Jensen used his free hand to pull Jamie close and kissed his hair.
It was exactly three when the doorbell rang and Jensen heard someone try the door handle. He ran to the door from the kitchen and opened it with a smile to Josh, “Sorry, we’ve been locking the door with those vultures over there,” he said nodding to the curb where the photographers were. “C’mon in.” He stepped away from the door as Josh and the kids walked in. “Hi, everyone. It’s so good to see you.” He shut the door firmly behind them. “The photographers are driving us crazy.” He hugged his niece and nephew and ushered them in. “You can meet Jared. He and Jamie are on the back porch.” Josh put down the bags.
“Go on, go see your cousin and introduce yourselves to Jared,” said Josh. He gently pushed Marky and Mary towards the back of the house. As the left he said, “How you doin’, little brother?”
“I’m honestly okay. Jamie is having nightmares, which isn’t good. But I mean, it reminds me of after Tricia died, but I’m not as fucked up this time. I would have slept like a baby if Jamie hadn’t woken me.”
“But you said you slept in Tricia’s bed?” asked Josh gently.
“Jamie wet his bed and once we were done cleaning up and calming down Jamie wanted to be in her bed. I didn’t need to hunker down in her room; I wasn’t having a breakdown.”
“Good, that’s good. Poor Jamie.”
“Yeah, he’s scared but it comes in waves, you know little kids.”
“Daddy!” Mary shouted coming back, “Jared has dogs, come see.” She was about to turn five and really wanted a puppy for her birthday.
“We aren’t getting a dog,” said Josh. It was a lie, he’d already talked to a farm breeder and a border collie puppy was going to be picked up the night before her birthday.
“Come see the dogs.”
He nodded and allowed himself to be theatrically dragged to the yard. Out on the patio he smiled and reached to shake Jared’s hand, “Jared, man, good to meet you. I’m Josh, Jensen’s older, nicer brother.”
“I’m Jared, the guy who likes him despite his lack of amiability.”
They both laughed and Jensen said, “Good to see you two will get on well. Drinks?”
“Sure,” said Josh, “the adults will help. Kids, what would you like?”
The kids put in their order and Jared said, “One word about the dogs,” Jensen read Josh’s face and knew that he was worried Jared was about to say they bit. “Harley has a really bad hip and Sadie gets nervous. So don’t sit on them, okay? Harley will have to go back to the doctor and Sadie will have an accident and go hide somewhere for the night. That’s the only rule: no sitting on the dogs and be a little gentle around Harley’s backside.”
The kids all nodded and the adults headed back into the kitchen. “Sure they’ll be okay?” asked Josh. “Mary is a little over enthusiastic.”
“They’ll be fine,” said Jensen.
Jared smiled, “I’ve trained them well. Mary could stab them between the eyes and they would limp away and die feeling betrayed but thinking that as a human did they probably deserved it. I’m only worried about his hip and her constitution.”
“Well,” said Josh in a whisper, “we’re getting Mary a puppy for her birthday in a couple of weeks.”
“A good breeder?” asked Jared.
“It’s a horse farm, so yeah, not a puppy mill, those poor bastards have all sorts of problems.”
Jared nodded, “That’s good. If you need any help I can give you a hand. Harley used to jump on everything and Sadie used to be too frightened of moving wheels to go outside.”
“Moving wheels?”
“She was a shelter dog: I have no idea what she went through. Any sort of moving wheel scared her. Harley was a friend of mine’s but he was over whelmed by Harley’s energy. He was not getting the proper amount of exercise.”
“Well, sounds like you can work a miracle so we might need your help.”
Jared nodded and poured the grownups coffee while Jensen set about getting the kids’ drinks. “So where’s Lind?” asked Jensen.
“Taking a bath and having a glass of wine. She’s having a little alone time before we go out. Thank you so much for doing this.”
“No need, you’ve been covering so much for me with all the not dating,” said Jensen. “It’s not a problem at all.”
“I’m glad you are not not dating anymore,” then Josh seemed to consider his words making sure the double negative was correct.
“Me too,” said Jensen.
Continue
~~~