(no subject)
mom, im not as strong as i look..as i act.. i know grandma's pneumonia + sickness really hit us both hard and unexpectedLy.. i act strong, i try to give u advice, but ... i cried siLentLy in the car when u werent there.. seeinG u so depressed/anxious/nervous for ur mother, made me feeL so horribLe. seeing grandma so sick and in deniAl that she was sick, refuSing to stay a couPLe nights in the hospiTaL ..knowinG her life was in danger.. u didnt see me, i wouldnt let chu see me crash because i didnt want chu to crash too..
i know you have to be strong for grandma + grandpa. and i know i have to be strong for you. you reLy on me so much..dad's not here anymore, so you only have me.. the "mature", independent, strong one.. but who will be strong for me? who can i depend on when youre depending on me? when youre falling back on me? nobody.
sometimes i wish i grew up in an overprotective sheltering househoLd.. my chiLdhood would lack the days afterschooL alone without a babysitter, the long walks/bike rides by myself.. my parents alwys let me fLy free and do whatever i wanted. its times like this that make me wish they didnt do that.. i insisted on holding my bottLe by myseLf when i was a mere 3 months oLd..when other babies were cryinG if they didnt get attention. i was alwys independent, alwys alone. if my parents hadnt raised me like this.. i dont think i would take so many burdens upon myseLf.. i dont thiNk they would expect me to be abLe to take all this pressure.. i dont think they would depenD me on me so much..for so much
mom, please dont forget that i'm only a senior in high schooL. sometimes i cant handLe all of this pressure.. and these burdens.. every burden and sadness you have, i take upon myseLf.. im sorry, mom. i will pray for you grandma. please get better. please. i've visited that hospital 3 times in the past half year. thats too much.. please take care, grandma and grandpa.. i kno its hard being 9o+ but chu are so heaLthy..dont be so stubboRn. do whats good for your body. i love you both so much. u are alwys in my prayers, mind, and heart. mom n dad, i love you too. and im so sorry, as a daughter, i cant be stronger.
i know you have to be strong for grandma + grandpa. and i know i have to be strong for you. you reLy on me so much..dad's not here anymore, so you only have me.. the "mature", independent, strong one.. but who will be strong for me? who can i depend on when youre depending on me? when youre falling back on me? nobody.
sometimes i wish i grew up in an overprotective sheltering househoLd.. my chiLdhood would lack the days afterschooL alone without a babysitter, the long walks/bike rides by myself.. my parents alwys let me fLy free and do whatever i wanted. its times like this that make me wish they didnt do that.. i insisted on holding my bottLe by myseLf when i was a mere 3 months oLd..when other babies were cryinG if they didnt get attention. i was alwys independent, alwys alone. if my parents hadnt raised me like this.. i dont think i would take so many burdens upon myseLf.. i dont thiNk they would expect me to be abLe to take all this pressure.. i dont think they would depenD me on me so much..for so much
mom, please dont forget that i'm only a senior in high schooL. sometimes i cant handLe all of this pressure.. and these burdens.. every burden and sadness you have, i take upon myseLf.. im sorry, mom. i will pray for you grandma. please get better. please. i've visited that hospital 3 times in the past half year. thats too much.. please take care, grandma and grandpa.. i kno its hard being 9o+ but chu are so heaLthy..dont be so stubboRn. do whats good for your body. i love you both so much. u are alwys in my prayers, mind, and heart. mom n dad, i love you too. and im so sorry, as a daughter, i cant be stronger.