It's like being stoned. having two things just ...pushing me to nonexistence rofl
sometimes i just past out. after just exhausting all the energy that's left in me. i just collapse, resting my head on my desk...
and sometimes i can feel it. this chain that's pulling me towards a mountain i can't descend. what binds me is not someone living.
it's an illusion that won't fade; an expectation that i have to uphold.
not for the honor of the name but to satisfy the future i'm bound to.
no matter how much pain i'm in. or how stressful it is.
everytime i collapse, i hear the illusion calling me, telling me that i cannot quit.
for this pain is not punishment. it is a reward.
but sometimes it's too real.
yet what bounds me has no key and no lock. it's merely a string...so how can it constrain me?
one can know what happiness is and yearn for it but have not felt it. one can appear to be happy but is suspicious.
and one can be me.
and sometimes i can feel it. this chain that's pulling me towards a mountain i can't descend. what binds me is not someone living.
it's an illusion that won't fade; an expectation that i have to uphold.
not for the honor of the name but to satisfy the future i'm bound to.
no matter how much pain i'm in. or how stressful it is.
everytime i collapse, i hear the illusion calling me, telling me that i cannot quit.
for this pain is not punishment. it is a reward.
but sometimes it's too real.
yet what bounds me has no key and no lock. it's merely a string...so how can it constrain me?
one can know what happiness is and yearn for it but have not felt it. one can appear to be happy but is suspicious.
and one can be me.