Sometimes "I don't want to talk" means just that...
I am genuinely confused as to why my response of "No, I don't want to talk about it." is continually and repeatedly ignored by those that consider me their friend. Is there some code of friendship that I don't know? That when I'm depressed that I HAVE to speak to someone? That when I say "I don't want to talk about it" it really means "I want to and you just need to keep pushing until I break and sob on your shoulder (or e-shoulder"? Because I don't mean that. I mean I want to be left alone. I mean that I don't want to talk about it. I mean that I don't want you to keep asking, or saying you'll "always be there" for me, or that I can "talk to you anytime." Yes. Thank you. I appreciate that. And when I DO want to talk, I'll keep that in mind. But for now, no, I don't want to talk.
Because that seems to be the case. On multiple occasions now I have had this kind of conversation. Sometimes in a lump. Sometimes spread over a few different conversations.
Them: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: No, not really.
Them: Well I'm here for you if you ever need.
Me: Thanks. I appreciate it.
Them: You sure you don't want to talk about it?
Me: I'm sure. I really don't want to talk.
Them: It'll help.
Me: No it won't. Please stop asking. I really don't want to talk.
Them: Of course it'll help. It always helps to get stuff off your chest.
Me: I don't want to talk. Please stop asking!
Them:........................... I'm just concerned about you and wanted to help, that's all.
And then I feel shittier because it seems I snapped for no reason, despite the fact that I said multiple times that I didn't want to talk.
I just wish that somehow, without being rude, or anything, I could get across that "I don't want to talk" means exactly that. I don't want to talk. I don't want to unburden myself. I don't want to have a "good cry". I don't want to go out for drink. I don't want to talk.
And I'd like to be able to do that without getting the guilt trip "But I'm concerned for you." response. Because that just makes me feel worse.
Because that seems to be the case. On multiple occasions now I have had this kind of conversation. Sometimes in a lump. Sometimes spread over a few different conversations.
Them: Do you want to talk about it?
Me: No, not really.
Them: Well I'm here for you if you ever need.
Me: Thanks. I appreciate it.
Them: You sure you don't want to talk about it?
Me: I'm sure. I really don't want to talk.
Them: It'll help.
Me: No it won't. Please stop asking. I really don't want to talk.
Them: Of course it'll help. It always helps to get stuff off your chest.
Me: I don't want to talk. Please stop asking!
Them:........................... I'm just concerned about you and wanted to help, that's all.
And then I feel shittier because it seems I snapped for no reason, despite the fact that I said multiple times that I didn't want to talk.
I just wish that somehow, without being rude, or anything, I could get across that "I don't want to talk" means exactly that. I don't want to talk. I don't want to unburden myself. I don't want to have a "good cry". I don't want to go out for drink. I don't want to talk.
And I'd like to be able to do that without getting the guilt trip "But I'm concerned for you." response. Because that just makes me feel worse.