life sucks?
tomorrow lectures start for the winter term at university.
I have learned near to zero during break. my motivation for university is as low as ever, basically becuase there's nobody there I can connect with. and I'm just not the type to do much when left totally alone.
and my basically best friend from school is finally finished with being a soldier... but he only got into the Augsburg university at last minute. he would be lots of fun to talk and learn with (also studying law, though it's more like 3rd choice XD), but with him having to travel between munich and augsburg all the time, that won't work.
the other guy from my school who starts law studies in munich this year was never my favourite person. he's quite the annoying know-it-all.
so, basically, either I get lucky and finally find some people at university to connect with or I stay a lousy recluse who only gets out once of twice a month to meet people from the internet.
seriously, this is depressing me. then there's the shitty situation at home, with my mum being a know-it-all and always expecting me to do everything she doesn't want to because I "have the time to do it", and all that other shit.
maybe some of this will be better once I find a flat, but how long that's gonna take is the next question.
so, in the meanwhile I'm still despressed, annoyed and stressed.
and guess what: nobody I know CAN do anything about it, because none of the people I know can actually motivate me for university or help me gain friends there. and any talking shit like "oh, it will eventually get better" only infuriates me at the moment. it's not like anyone has looked at me and been interested in me for the past 24 months. not if they didn't already know me beforehand. nobody new is interested in me... so basically, I feel ugly, boring, useless and stupid.
Aza.
I have learned near to zero during break. my motivation for university is as low as ever, basically becuase there's nobody there I can connect with. and I'm just not the type to do much when left totally alone.
and my basically best friend from school is finally finished with being a soldier... but he only got into the Augsburg university at last minute. he would be lots of fun to talk and learn with (also studying law, though it's more like 3rd choice XD), but with him having to travel between munich and augsburg all the time, that won't work.
the other guy from my school who starts law studies in munich this year was never my favourite person. he's quite the annoying know-it-all.
so, basically, either I get lucky and finally find some people at university to connect with or I stay a lousy recluse who only gets out once of twice a month to meet people from the internet.
seriously, this is depressing me. then there's the shitty situation at home, with my mum being a know-it-all and always expecting me to do everything she doesn't want to because I "have the time to do it", and all that other shit.
maybe some of this will be better once I find a flat, but how long that's gonna take is the next question.
so, in the meanwhile I'm still despressed, annoyed and stressed.
and guess what: nobody I know CAN do anything about it, because none of the people I know can actually motivate me for university or help me gain friends there. and any talking shit like "oh, it will eventually get better" only infuriates me at the moment. it's not like anyone has looked at me and been interested in me for the past 24 months. not if they didn't already know me beforehand. nobody new is interested in me... so basically, I feel ugly, boring, useless and stupid.
Aza.