Sep 18, 2006 00:44
Sigh. I have absolutely no desire to do anything. I just want to lay in bed, doing nothing. I have a feeling this is just going to keep getting worse and worse as the months progress. Maybe I should call and up my dosage. My psychiatrist wanted to at my last appointment, but it scared me so I said no. It just keeps hitting me all at once more frequently. I'll be at work, being incredibly cheerful and outgoing, and then instantly I just want to curl up in a ball and not move any more. That usually doesn't happen while I'm at work, but the past couple of days it has been happening. Then I'll feel desperately hopeless. I'll just stand there thinking "Oh my god." The best description is saying that my soul hurts. Every bit of me, my entire essence will ache.
Eh. Tomorrow I work from 9-2pm and then I have to go to Delta and take a test for my coversational spanish class. Then I'm going to hang out with Leslie for most of the day. I do need to finish my history homework though. If I go to Leslie's house I'll have to leave at like 9 or so, so that I can finish all my stuff for school on tuesday. I've had so much homework to do this past week. I've actually been working on it all too, but there was soooo much history that I didn't get to it all due to my millions of math problems I had to complete and my creative writing assignment. O and my spanish videos that I had to watch, which were a waste of my time. They were long videos too and took up a whole night. But I definitely want to hang out with Leslie for a while tomorrow. I think I'd rather go to her house.
God, I need cheering right now. Joe is online, but he is watching a movie and isn't paying much attention to the IMs. Ugh. I think I'll e-mail my sister and tell her about dad. That won't cheer me up, but it'll distract me a bit. Hopefully. I should just go to sleep. Eh, I have to get up so early. :(
college,
depression,
homework