(no subject)
i'm working on another mix now--this one's theme is The Word "Love," Used Well.
maybe that comma's not supposed to be there. but once i wrote it, it kind of made me giggle. Like, the two parts don't have to have anything to do with each other, or maybe they're dependent on each other, but whatever.
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has anyone else noticed that that stupid commercial for that stupid show about having babies has a TYPO in it? tacky.
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and it's been decided: roadtrip to visit a friend on tuesday and wednesday and maybe thursday. not so far away, but it's been a loooooooong ass time since i saw this girl, so it somehow seems like a massive pilgrimage.
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my mom called today and said she had a dream that she and my father were coming to nyc to visit me. this is significant first because my mother rarely remembers her dreams, and i don't think she's EVER told me about a dream that involved me. she's really worried about me, thinking about me. so much so that she's dreaming about me.
but they were supposed to drive here in my grandmother's car (her prized possession, and old lincoln towncar that she simply cannot get rid of no matter how many new cars she buys), but my cousin james (brother of paige, who died last year) had torn the back of the car out-- my mom says it was gutted, she says, "it looked like a padded cell and i woke up thinking about how you're in this scorching, padded cell up there in nyc and you're alone and i'm sorry i can't make it."
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anger factor increases daily. sadness does, too. but anger mostly, and the deadening. gradual, heavier and heavier.
everything seems wide open and completely shut off. really, like it never happened. or like i'm the only one in the world who knows it did.
maybe that comma's not supposed to be there. but once i wrote it, it kind of made me giggle. Like, the two parts don't have to have anything to do with each other, or maybe they're dependent on each other, but whatever.
--
has anyone else noticed that that stupid commercial for that stupid show about having babies has a TYPO in it? tacky.
--
and it's been decided: roadtrip to visit a friend on tuesday and wednesday and maybe thursday. not so far away, but it's been a loooooooong ass time since i saw this girl, so it somehow seems like a massive pilgrimage.
--
my mom called today and said she had a dream that she and my father were coming to nyc to visit me. this is significant first because my mother rarely remembers her dreams, and i don't think she's EVER told me about a dream that involved me. she's really worried about me, thinking about me. so much so that she's dreaming about me.
but they were supposed to drive here in my grandmother's car (her prized possession, and old lincoln towncar that she simply cannot get rid of no matter how many new cars she buys), but my cousin james (brother of paige, who died last year) had torn the back of the car out-- my mom says it was gutted, she says, "it looked like a padded cell and i woke up thinking about how you're in this scorching, padded cell up there in nyc and you're alone and i'm sorry i can't make it."
--
anger factor increases daily. sadness does, too. but anger mostly, and the deadening. gradual, heavier and heavier.
everything seems wide open and completely shut off. really, like it never happened. or like i'm the only one in the world who knows it did.