(no subject)
I had a flashback, yes another flashback that keeps me from peaceful night.
For the first time, my sister was there, she help me to come conscious. I’m in terrifying condition, shaking, crying and scared, struggling to stay in present. She looking at the worst of me, I don’t want anyone to see me so vulnerable and weak. Especially my sisters but I guess I don’t have much choice.
I couldn’t sleep afterward, trying to not dwell so much on what happen. My whole body is aching and my private part too. His heavy body on the top of me, he pushing through me, over and over again, his hand all over me, the smell of the oil and alcohol, he being rough again, I’m wet and I can smell a blood and his semen.
The nightmare is hunting me when I asleep.
I know the medication is not the magic pills, but I was hoping this pill can stop the flashback and nightmares, I guess wrong.
At least it’s not frequent, and I don’t feel so down as usual.
11 Sept 2013
For the first time, my sister was there, she help me to come conscious. I’m in terrifying condition, shaking, crying and scared, struggling to stay in present. She looking at the worst of me, I don’t want anyone to see me so vulnerable and weak. Especially my sisters but I guess I don’t have much choice.
I couldn’t sleep afterward, trying to not dwell so much on what happen. My whole body is aching and my private part too. His heavy body on the top of me, he pushing through me, over and over again, his hand all over me, the smell of the oil and alcohol, he being rough again, I’m wet and I can smell a blood and his semen.
The nightmare is hunting me when I asleep.
I know the medication is not the magic pills, but I was hoping this pill can stop the flashback and nightmares, I guess wrong.
At least it’s not frequent, and I don’t feel so down as usual.
11 Sept 2013