Crossroads
Maybe i am asking to be hurt? I kinda wonder about that sometimes. It's not like i go looking into things for the soul purpose of having it feel like some ripped out my hear with some hot iron rods. Sometimes i just want to remember the really good times, and then cuz the inevitable pain.
I'm pretty sure most of you are like "WTF mary? Quit being so emo!" Well to put it shortly last night i was talking to stephen. And it was good and all until we started asking each other about "if there was another person". Well i told him about john, not everything mind you but a good deal. From that though he let me in on a little secret that he had kept. He had actually slept with a girl, a couple of time between sept-nov, and that he had tried to get into a relationship with another.
Honestly i don't know what hurt more. The fact that he was starting to move on or the fact tht some bitch put her hands all over him. Needless to say i was in a rage, a horrible jealous rage. And yall know... i don't get jealous that easy or that quickly but it was there and i couldn't stand thinking about it!
Again, to point this out, i know that i'm being a hypocrite at this point b/c of being with chris nd in a relationship with john. TRUST ME I KNOW!
Well Stephen and I started talking about it, cuz he knew something was wrong but he didn't know what. Boy was he a little surprised at the fact i was jealous. But honestly i wanted to go hunt down the girl, rip her hair out by the scalp, shove it down her throat and throw her out of 9 story building's window! It didn't help that i told him that too. I'm kinda srprised he didn't call me a nutcase and hang up on me. Actually all he really said was that "he understood".
Then that lead onto another topic of conversation where he had said that he had been jealous of chris and is a little jealous of John. Kinda made me take a step back for a second. I never thought that he would feel that way. Granted his tendencies weren't as strong as mine, but still the fact it was there kinda throw me off kilter.
Either way we didn't really get anything to resolved but we did come clean about EVERYTHING. Which in the end made us feel better, and slightly off at the same time. I just wish sometimes i could control my emotions, just flick a switch and they are on or off. Well either way im going. bye guys!
I'm pretty sure most of you are like "WTF mary? Quit being so emo!" Well to put it shortly last night i was talking to stephen. And it was good and all until we started asking each other about "if there was another person". Well i told him about john, not everything mind you but a good deal. From that though he let me in on a little secret that he had kept. He had actually slept with a girl, a couple of time between sept-nov, and that he had tried to get into a relationship with another.
Honestly i don't know what hurt more. The fact that he was starting to move on or the fact tht some bitch put her hands all over him. Needless to say i was in a rage, a horrible jealous rage. And yall know... i don't get jealous that easy or that quickly but it was there and i couldn't stand thinking about it!
Again, to point this out, i know that i'm being a hypocrite at this point b/c of being with chris nd in a relationship with john. TRUST ME I KNOW!
Well Stephen and I started talking about it, cuz he knew something was wrong but he didn't know what. Boy was he a little surprised at the fact i was jealous. But honestly i wanted to go hunt down the girl, rip her hair out by the scalp, shove it down her throat and throw her out of 9 story building's window! It didn't help that i told him that too. I'm kinda srprised he didn't call me a nutcase and hang up on me. Actually all he really said was that "he understood".
Then that lead onto another topic of conversation where he had said that he had been jealous of chris and is a little jealous of John. Kinda made me take a step back for a second. I never thought that he would feel that way. Granted his tendencies weren't as strong as mine, but still the fact it was there kinda throw me off kilter.
Either way we didn't really get anything to resolved but we did come clean about EVERYTHING. Which in the end made us feel better, and slightly off at the same time. I just wish sometimes i could control my emotions, just flick a switch and they are on or off. Well either way im going. bye guys!