White Flags
Well.. i leave in two weeks. I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm excited but sad at teh same time, and then feeling guilty about both. It's just difficult knowing if i'm making the right desicion or not. And trust me i KNOW that i can't know which one is right, but dammit! i still WANT to know.
Even now, i'm trying to engrave in my mind everything about this place. I just can't seem to deal with this! It kinda makes me wish i never told my parents what happened! But dammit, they always call when i'm fighting with stephen!!! -_-*
Honestly it's taking everything to not call them and say i'm staying here. But that's not going to work either. And i know it won't work. I said i'd come home and i am. But then that makes me wonder... I also said i'd stay and help stephen out with the rent... yet i'm going back on that promise. Why is it ok to go back on some promises and not others? No one really takes into consideration that i DID promise him i'd stay b/c of the lease, and that with leaving i'm putting him in a very complicated situation. No one wants me to stay up here, so i have to promise that i'm coming home, yet it's NOT ok to break that promise? It's all just a bunch of hypocrisy, and yes i'm apart of it to. Well i guess i'm done for my rant.. I've probably pissed of more ppl just with this one as well.
Night
Even now, i'm trying to engrave in my mind everything about this place. I just can't seem to deal with this! It kinda makes me wish i never told my parents what happened! But dammit, they always call when i'm fighting with stephen!!! -_-*
Honestly it's taking everything to not call them and say i'm staying here. But that's not going to work either. And i know it won't work. I said i'd come home and i am. But then that makes me wonder... I also said i'd stay and help stephen out with the rent... yet i'm going back on that promise. Why is it ok to go back on some promises and not others? No one really takes into consideration that i DID promise him i'd stay b/c of the lease, and that with leaving i'm putting him in a very complicated situation. No one wants me to stay up here, so i have to promise that i'm coming home, yet it's NOT ok to break that promise? It's all just a bunch of hypocrisy, and yes i'm apart of it to. Well i guess i'm done for my rant.. I've probably pissed of more ppl just with this one as well.
Night