The Dreamer
I'm not sure how I want to stat this off, but I know that I just want to type. I know that I was supposed to wash my hair tonight, but I ended up going to dinner with a few coworkers which was pretty awesome because it was the same diner that Jordan and I went to a few weeks back. I tried their breakfast this time around, it was pretty good and under $10 so this place definitely gets my vote--their bar just needs a better tender.
There is so much on mind that I want to get out but I just don't know.. it won't come out. Like, how I feel about Jae.. he makes me soo happy and I'm really glad that we're doing this and I don't want to mess anything up by being insecure over bull shit or letting everything get to me. I also feel like I can be too clingy and want a lot of his attention, and I don't want to drive the him away with it.. Its just really different now ya know, because I actually found someone that I really like, that listens to me, shares many of the same interests, and actually likes me for being me--no matter how strange, weird, eclectic, out of this universe I may be he likes it..and encourages it, he encourages it. That means alot to me, because I always felt "out of place", I felt as though I needed to "tweak" certain aspects about myself to fit others needs or wants but no one was ever willing to do the same for me, until it was too late and I had lost a part of me in the process.
There was always this feeling that I was never giving enough, that I wasn't giving all that I could because I would get the same result even when I felt like I had given 200%..it just wasn't enough so that everything could be ok. But I can't get too comfortable because life is ever changing and you have to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst but hope for the best... I think I've gotten pretty good at that..Life so far has given me good practice with that.
There is so much on mind that I want to get out but I just don't know.. it won't come out. Like, how I feel about Jae.. he makes me soo happy and I'm really glad that we're doing this and I don't want to mess anything up by being insecure over bull shit or letting everything get to me. I also feel like I can be too clingy and want a lot of his attention, and I don't want to drive the him away with it.. Its just really different now ya know, because I actually found someone that I really like, that listens to me, shares many of the same interests, and actually likes me for being me--no matter how strange, weird, eclectic, out of this universe I may be he likes it..and encourages it, he encourages it. That means alot to me, because I always felt "out of place", I felt as though I needed to "tweak" certain aspects about myself to fit others needs or wants but no one was ever willing to do the same for me, until it was too late and I had lost a part of me in the process.
There was always this feeling that I was never giving enough, that I wasn't giving all that I could because I would get the same result even when I felt like I had given 200%..it just wasn't enough so that everything could be ok. But I can't get too comfortable because life is ever changing and you have to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst but hope for the best... I think I've gotten pretty good at that..Life so far has given me good practice with that.