(no subject)
Lately I have this image stuck in my head:
The Los Angeles skyline.
I've seen it once 3 years ago, and it was breathtaking and honestly, very very frightening. I have never ever been to a city I was scared of more than LA, and therefore I only spent two days in it, and while there, I didn't go out of Malibu and Santa Monica, which honestly aren't that interesting places anyways. Before that, it was my dream to go to LA for about 10 years ever since I was 11. I tried to go see other places, but i was scared and lost by the massiveness of the city.
The problem is, I haven't changed much since I was 11. I mean, I've experienced stuff, gotten a little more confident, and the like, and maybe my dreams became more realistic to my abilities, but I want the same things I wanted then. I knew ever since that age, that when I "grew up" I wouldn't want to stay in this country (and no matter how much I try to change that, because it sure is easier to stay here, I just can't imagine myself here), I knew then that I will do something that has to do with media: tv, movies, theatre (that joined later. I'm still not sure about it). And I sure know it wasn't faith that led me to where I am in life right now.
I've been absent from livejournal for quite some time, because I wanted to focus all of my energy on school (and therefore been a terrible LJ friend, I'm sorry about that), and to be honest, the year ended marvelously and exceeded my expectations. I've had the best documentary film in class, (even though I did it all by myself and therefore, because I'm not a good video photographer, it had many technical problems), even though I have no intentions of making documentaries in the future, it was rewarding to be even better than those who do. I did quite well in other things too, and my videos and everything else was also great. All of my hard work really paid off.
I know that I will work my ass off, to achieve the things I want in life, and to go to the places I want. I know what my good qualities are, and i know what are the bad things that are stopping me from getting there. There is nothing I want more than to break those bounderies I've unfortunately set for myself, but I'm not sure I know how to over come them yet. Or that I'm quite ready for it yet.
And that is so fucking frustrating.
The Los Angeles skyline.
I've seen it once 3 years ago, and it was breathtaking and honestly, very very frightening. I have never ever been to a city I was scared of more than LA, and therefore I only spent two days in it, and while there, I didn't go out of Malibu and Santa Monica, which honestly aren't that interesting places anyways. Before that, it was my dream to go to LA for about 10 years ever since I was 11. I tried to go see other places, but i was scared and lost by the massiveness of the city.
The problem is, I haven't changed much since I was 11. I mean, I've experienced stuff, gotten a little more confident, and the like, and maybe my dreams became more realistic to my abilities, but I want the same things I wanted then. I knew ever since that age, that when I "grew up" I wouldn't want to stay in this country (and no matter how much I try to change that, because it sure is easier to stay here, I just can't imagine myself here), I knew then that I will do something that has to do with media: tv, movies, theatre (that joined later. I'm still not sure about it). And I sure know it wasn't faith that led me to where I am in life right now.
I've been absent from livejournal for quite some time, because I wanted to focus all of my energy on school (and therefore been a terrible LJ friend, I'm sorry about that), and to be honest, the year ended marvelously and exceeded my expectations. I've had the best documentary film in class, (even though I did it all by myself and therefore, because I'm not a good video photographer, it had many technical problems), even though I have no intentions of making documentaries in the future, it was rewarding to be even better than those who do. I did quite well in other things too, and my videos and everything else was also great. All of my hard work really paid off.
I know that I will work my ass off, to achieve the things I want in life, and to go to the places I want. I know what my good qualities are, and i know what are the bad things that are stopping me from getting there. There is nothing I want more than to break those bounderies I've unfortunately set for myself, but I'm not sure I know how to over come them yet. Or that I'm quite ready for it yet.
And that is so fucking frustrating.